Wednesday, 27 February 2013

News from which real world

News From Which real world ?

In an certain office within a certain heritage building in a famous city with lotsa monuments and museums including now a Jeffersonian and an Smithsonian some one was adding to a list on a whiteboard and some one else was looking very unhappy.

"Sir some good news Godzilla has driven away from Tokyo by a taskforce of anime and manga robots mechas cyborgs and an air squadron lead by a pilot called The Red Pig (Scribal Clue Studio Ghibli production translate into Italian).

Tianmenan Square in Beijing is being occupied by pro democracy protestors being shielded by various Buddhist and Taoist deities and you're going to love our phone tap of the Premier begging the Dalai Lama to intercede for him!"

"I'm sure the Dalai Lama loved it too!" replied the alleged Leader of the Free World who was looking out the window watching unicorns gambolling in the rose garden playing with his daughters.

"however Sir? Sir continuing our briefing there are reports of rampaging Sasquatches, Lake monsters galore, and all around the world soap opera characters have been arrested for assaulting their script writers also ..."

A phone rung. Not ominously but cheerfully with a happy old fashioned bring bring bring.

"Sir it's the Chocolate Phone!"

"Sir good news from Prime Minister A. F. Von Teckelstein. They're attempting to break through into our reality from some strange and terrible unrealm they've been trapped in Sir! Sir please put the cigarettes down!"

Saturday, 23 February 2013

Yo Help the Author

Gentle and savage readers your beloved but feeling unloved scribe needs some help.

She's feeling depressed cos the local equivalent of what Americans call community college due to funding cuts abolished both her planned course for this year and a major source of  casual employment.

so things  you can do

USE the @##%#%$ paypal link

Mention this blog on twitter or facebook or whatever social media you use

Do the same for her art follow her on JVartndesign on Facebook or Twitter and encourage people to visit either

Red bubble

or her Cafe press shop

Thursday, 21 February 2013

In teckelstein the first appearance

( the girls are not talking to me
 apparently they're being chased by something or someone
so you're just going to have to read a repeat of  an older episode
sorry but I did warn you I'm only the scribe!)

Meanwhile in usually beautiful scenic Teckelstein the residents were not happy.

There was a howling blizzard on what should have been a lovely summer day.

There was none of the usual tourist trade from other realms and worst of all A.F. Teckelstein First Minister for just about Everything had not had his morning saucer of hot chocolate milk.

A. F. was a magnificent example of European standard hunting Teckel with black and tan coloring and an tail best described as an elegant calligraphic whip who was wearing his favorite  monocle with a jewelled rim.

He was yelling at a speakerphone on his desk.

"What do you mean half the High Council disappeared and most of the rest can't make it through the storm.
Get some one with weather powers to make a tunnel or something.
Where's Leo or Mark?
Trapped in Chez Alfred?
Mark's wand isnt working and neither is Leo's gun?
The sky shield is cracking?
Yes I noticed that thank you!
Don't make me come down there and fix things myself!
And where are Sassy and Goldie?
Well them outside of the realm is always a mixed blessing.
We have more important problems!? Oh really!?
The first Dragon is what ... !!!
Oh Lieber Gott!"

A.F. walked away from the phone over to the windows.

A large statue of what appeared to be a warrior from the early Middle Ages wearing chain mail was acquiring icicles down in the courtyard.

Unfortunately the scales were dragon skin and the First Dragon had clearly had his shapeshifting abilities blocked half way during a change from his favorite human form to his full dragonish splendour.

"Okay now things are getting serious indeed" muttered A. F.

"Someone find my snowshoes" he barked in an imperative baritone.

Over in Chez Alfred unhappy customers were huddled around a fireplace fending off frost bite with mugs of hot chocolate or coffee or odder drinks. At a table nearby a man wearing a hood and a mask was glaring through snow googles at the innards of a gun and another was staring at a wand while a third was watching the mouth of a flame thrower that was thoroughly unfunctional.

"How the @#@$#%@@@4 can the laws of physics and magic be NOT working at the same @#@@#%$$ time?"

asked the man trying to fix his gun.

"hey that was not a hypothetical science boys!" he snarled at the group near the fireplace.

"Dramatic cliches still work!" cried a phantom like stranger as he successfully forced the front door open.

"Whaaa that's not right you're not written to slam doors open!"

"Which means" declaimed the phantom like stranger in disconcertingly cheerful tones that were even more out of character for him, " some badass capitalist running dog imperialist overlord be doin' some heavy duty messin' with reality."

Everyone in the Chez Alfred stared at him ...

Several persons jaws almost dislocated as the phantom like stranger proceeded to do a rap routine.
This was disrupted by an anguished scream from the kitchen from the owner chef.

"Nooo the oven's stopped and I had souffle rising!"

Someone screamed "Its the end of the world!"

Others ran out into the storm preferring the risk of hypothermia to an irate chef.

A few more compassionate souls ventured into the kitchen to comfort the chef a distinguished and former British Intelligence agent.

(No not the double zero and a seven one. The one who works as a substitute parent for a family of neurotic bat theme obsessed acrobatic crime fighters)

"Yeah but what's happening outside our world?" asked a more or less mad scientist thoughtfully who was a refugee from Black Dragon Tea Island.

Next time "Yes it's a trap Goldie!"

Friday, 15 February 2013

Lost Sisters

Lost Sisters

"Lena ... oh MR L's sister or daughter or niece or well?" stated Fluvia.

"Sister here we're all sisters here the Lost Sisters" answered Lena, "princesses, warriors, priestesses, and ..."

A tall brunette wearing dark clothes decorated with stars and silver jewellery was walking towards them.

"Donna!" cried out Sassy, Goldie , and Fluvia together!

Donna held her hands out to Bethany and Sinh.

"Time for your lessons girls."

"Donna hello!"

"Whatever you want I'm not going back out there again  not back to the endless rewrites and origin changes and having a sister and not having a sister and what they did to my son !"

"NOT even if we're going to a place where there's a Cintamani a genuine wish granting reality altering jewel?" asked Sassy.

Donna looked at them thoughtfully with cool consideration.

Tuesday, 12 February 2013

An Explanation for the Erratic schedule

So why does a serial novel with such short chapters appear so erratically?

The problem is a combination of interruption and inspiration.

I've spent the last fortnight running around trying to arrange some casual work and to do and redo course enrolments due to cancellations of my prior role and of courses I wanted to do at my local college. Plus I've been in and out of the physio and lying flat on my back enduring a major bout of sciaitica with muscle spasms due to a combination of running around  high humidity  and other factors.

Lying on one's side or back after a painful physio session does not induce inspiration. And its not a great typing position either. So I tend to work in short bursts.

... and then there's the problem of getting the girls' attention.

When you're dealing with characters who insist on relating their adventures out of sequence to their poor long suffering scribe ...

Sunday, 10 February 2013

The Stone of Darkened Destiny

The stone of darkened destiny.

In the middle of the sort of dark deep cavern that is accessed via winding stairs lit by candles whose wax comes from ... let us say unusual and cruel sources was a Stone a murky semi translucent stone that looked as if some one had caught a brewing storm in a hunk of roughly cut glass. Obsidian the color of a bruise would have also been a good description. Down those stairs trotted a royal prince of Teckelstein, a slender elegant canid of black and tan colouration with large but shapely front paws and coolly intelligent eyes.

The stone's colors shifted and it darkened at the centre as the canid prince approached and addressed it.

"I would like to offer a sacrifice. I understand you can grant wishes but there's a price? My wish is that Teckelstein escapes this limbo and is transported to a safe location with all damages repaired. I pay the price of my own free will."

The Stone shuddered lightened but shadows formed and gathered around the small dog. When they parted he had changed. The body proportions that had seemed elegant were now comically cute and awkward with large eyes protruding and tail slightly bent and legs too bowed and droopy ears and the eyes was still keen and bright but less focused. Leroy once the THE ROYal Prince wandered off slowly.

The stone murmured to itself.

"A gift of noble innocence and pure intent the first in generations.  IN exchange a gift given and something extra to protect that poor soul. My wish is that he be restored to his true self if he ever offers himself in sacrifice again.

(The story of leroy will continue at a future date. Don't worry folks we willnt leave him as a cartoonish parody of a dachshund.)

Outside something rippled through the skies of Teckelstein like a blur of moving shadow as if a storm cloud had been thinned into gauze. The force field became fully functional. Cracks in the dome disappeared. Ice and snow melted. Birds and other winged beings sung but A.F. von Teckelstein shuddered wondering who had sacrificed their destiny to the Stone.

Friday, 1 February 2013

 The Island of Lost girls

"How do we find the Island of Lost Girls?" yelped Sassy consulting her list.

"Never heard of it myself," stated Fluvia, "Which is Odd. I wrote a thesis on finding lost artifacts missing worlds and secret headquarters of cosmic conspiracies. Then I rewrite it for the mass market as a best selling how to guide series! Which paid for so many delightful things!"

"Island of the Lost Girls!" barked Sassy, "does that mean anything to anyone here?"

"Mmm ... I think I took a fare there once?" stated Reg.

"But where Reg? Where?"

"Somewhere nowhere. They told me to stop the taxi on the edge of a huge mass of clouds and a landing platform suddenly appeared. My fares got out and the platform disappeared and the whole cloud mass MOVED! That was spooky. It rumbled at me and moved off."

"Reg I said Island of the Lost Girls not Disappearing Cloud!" retorted Sassy shaking her head and ears.

"Well the fare was two little girls and the landing platform had a sign saying Welcome Home Lost Girls!" snapped Reg, "and that was so odd I took a special note of the co-ordinates."

"Reg you are the very best Dawllawk in the Multiverse!" cried Sassy.

"I'm the only Dawllawk in the Multiverse," grumbled Reg,

"Here are the co-ordinates ..."

Lady Zen Shipper and her passengers soon found themselves floating somewhere above the Mid West next to a large mass of clouds.

"So how do we get inside the cloud or whatever is inside that cloud?" asked Fluvia studying it through Lady Zen Shippers currently open air lock.

Sassy and Goldie were standing by her feet.

"Oh I had a thought!" exclaimed Goldie.

"A rare and beautiful thing," muttered another of the passengers.

Goldie took a deep breath and exhaled the words.


The clouds moved.

One section of them reached out and turned into a bridge one end barely touching the ship the other connected to a tunnel.

Sassy placed one paw on the bridge then another and then confident it was solid trotted across it followed by Goldie and then Fluvia.

The tunnel lead to an open meadow with fruit trees and swings and flowers and a shallow clear brook leading into a small pond  perfect for wading or swimming.

Girls were playing in it with unicorns and puppies and kittens and griffins.

Two girls however were practicing martial arts feinting at each other.

Sassy run over to them calling out what she hoped were their names.

"Hello are you Bethany and Sinh?"

"And I'm Lena!" announced a petite girl walking towards them.

To be continued.

What will our band of misfits refugees and leftovers do next?