Friday, 30 March 2012

A Visit to LaLaLand

A Visit to the LALA Nexus

JonaHexed was being obstinately rational.

“Look it is not logical! You cannot erase an entire pocket dimension! It might dwindle if you severed all the anchor points to cosmic resonance nodes but …”

“but someone did!” interrupted Sassy, “ … well must have … there was some really strange stuff happening as we left the node nexus thingie  … the one where the Forever Patrollers are! Giant robots and big things blundering around and those annoying Patrollers were fighting and we can’t get home!”

JonaHexed continued being obstinately explanatory,

 “… but all these are only metaphors used to describe multidimensional reality, severance is just a metaphor for a resonance change that leads to Teckelstein becoming beyond our perception or moving elsewhere or changing to a different entropic state or … we just have to find a different “string” by accessing another nexus. Which other nexus can we try? Which nexus has lots of links to other loci?” asked JonaHexed almost glaring at them.

“The one under New York Grand Central Station?” asked Goldie eagerly?

She loved the shopping opportunities in nearly every version of New York.

“We are sooo not using a nexus controlled by cats!” snapped Sassy.

“But then we could go visit that lovely version of New York,” babbled Goldie, “where those nice gargoyles live and the guardians in the pretty Art Deco building and there are urban bikie elves and shops and more shops and ”

“Goldie that’s it!” exclaimed JonaHexed, “ but not New York!
We’ll go to the LA Nexus! That’s linked to several ficitionalities, and timelines, and its multi-species controlled, and we can use the tangent of the XY co-ordinates to the geometric factor of the parallel hyberbolic …” Sassy and Goldie were spared a quantum geometry lesson by an alarm going off!

“Warning Unidentified hostile firing! Warning! Warning!” screamed Lady Zen Shipper as a missile slammed into her force fields with an impact felt throughout her whole being. JonaHeXed punched in commands for sensor display. The screen for the external sensors showed the image of a fleet of craft beginning to surround them. Those craft were bristling with weapons and launching smaller fighters. A line of text was scrolling across the screen informing them that an incoming transmission was being censored due to it being extremely vulgar and promising assaults of a personal nature. An image flashed onto the screen of a ship’s command center. Several darkly caped and sinister figures were fighting for central position in front of the camera and all were yelling, “We’re coming to get you @@#$%^^& B&&&&!”

“Wow that’s nearly every villain we’ve thwarted in the last few years on board!” observed Sassy, “including a couple of your would be girl friends JonaHexed and look there’s some of your cousins, Goldie, and oh … DARK CAPER!”

What appeared to be the empty hood of a cape the color of midnight shadows was facing the screen having pushed its way in front of the others.
A voice was booming out of it!

“I’m coming to punish you dog! I’m going to personally possess you and then I will use you to destroy every dachshund in the entire multi-verse and I will finally turn your gal pal into sashimi and then I’ll … “ someone lunged at the hood screaming, “NO it's my turn first” and another person shrieked “The Goullawk will be my trophy, stuffed and mounted and …”

“Now would be a good time to program co-ordinates for the Prime LALA Nexus,” observed JonaHexed, his fingers already dancing across the keyboard.

“Lady Zen Shipper punch us through to LA now!”

“Emergency transit authorised?” demurely asked the ship.

“Yes!!!” screamed all three of them in unison as more and more energy weapons struck at the ship’s force fields. Then they were elsewhere.

The LALA nexus should be hidden in a cavern system under the city. From those caverns tunnels lead up into its demon haunted sewers, streets, fitness centers, shops, film studios, and producers’ offices. Other tunnels lead to the main train station, the desert, and up to a certain park with misplaced Australian trees looking like they were mourning the absence of kookaburras, magpies, and cockatoos.

This is an absence for which the people of California should be eternally grateful.

Kookaburras gleefully steal from picnic tables and then sit on a nearby branch and let you watch them further tenderise your lunch.

Magpies go psycho in breeding season and become kamikaze dive-bombers.

As for cockatoos they have an interesting and literally consuming relationship with outdoors timber furniture pergolas trellis and verandas. I do mean consuming as sulphur crested cockatoos seem to believe that since we keep destroying all their hollow nesting trees the favor should be returned to our domiciles.

There was no nexus at their arrival point. Instead of columns of marble and granite and grand halls, occupied by people, who were even odder than usual by the standards of the mostly, and in some cases, only allegedly, though seemingly human, occupants of the city above, the view screens showed desert. Weeds, dust, weeds, sand, straggly plants, and more dust, weeds, and desert. There weren’t even any scenic rocks oh so familiar from various sci-fi series. There was lots of desert. There was a smoky haze in the distance that was probably the LA basin. Probably. Hopefully. There was definitely an excellent view of desert and dust and the sort of plant that only looks attractive when briefly flowering.

“That’s not good,” muttered JonaHexed, inspecting the view.

“You think?!” snapped Sassy glaring at him, “Where’s the nexus station?”

“I could have a dust bath!” gurgled Goldie with misplaced positivity!

JonaHexed spent a few minutes doing things with the comm systems and computers and then groaned and slowly lowered his head onto his arms moaning softly. Sassy gave him a moment or two to be inarticulate and then firmly head butted his rib cage. Goldie joined in playfully tail slapping him on his thigh.

“JonaHexed oh JonaH tell us what’s wrong. Please? Now?” commanded Sassy.
JonaHexed lifted his head. His face was an interesting shade of pale.

“The entire nexus station system is down. And everything else. Stone circles, gates, wormholes, transit crystals, everything, well almost everything. Anything I can get a signal from is giving off warning signs or fluctuating dangerously. The only good news that I have is that we are at least in the correct continuum but something caused us to land way out in the desert. We’re almost in Death Valley!”

“Oooh that’s not good! I’ll need sun block as well as my sunnies! And a hat. Definitely a nice hat!” gurgled Goldie who flumped off to explore her wardrobe. JonaHexed stared her with haunted eyes and muttered something about strange coping mechanisms, hedonistic narcissism, and cosmic crises.

Sassy with more practicality asked, “JonaHexed can we move Lady Zen closer? Or shall I unpack the dachmobile?”

A short while later an oddly dressed trio, even by California’s erratic dress standards, was speeding across the desert. Of the three JonaHexed looked almost normal as he was wearing biker leathers and a helmet and was driving the motorbike. However perched on the seat behind him was the weirder spectacle of a dachshund wearing dust goggles, a padded vest, and a bright gold safety helmet. In the sidecar was the definitely weird spectacle of a Goullawk Queen attired in a green pith hat with gold rims along with matching goggles and a flowing golden orange chiffon scarf. Fortunately for the sake of the sanity of any passing drivers or other entities Jonahexed turned on the holographic camouflage field once they hit the main highway. Things could have worse. At least Goldie hadn’t decided to risk sun burn and ride separately into town using her own modified motorbike or her rocket powered skate board while wearing her own peculiar version of bike leathers, a sight that had been known to make grown men weep hysterically and convince many adults to go into rehab for drug abuse. Even in the Greater LA metropolitan there are few sights quite so strange or dreadful as a small dragonoid wearing a vest with the words “Start the Violence” embroidered on the back and carrying nunchakus tucked under both flippers. One biker gang had learnt how dreadful this was to their eternal regret as they eternally owed Goldie a debt of honor due to her beating them in a race and then beating them further.

Sometime later after a delay caused by a traffic jam on the freeway when the holographic projector overheated and shut down, and several people had stopped their cars to take photo  or just have attacks of hysteria, the girls and their handy human finally reached a certain park, and a concealed entrance. To their delight it opened but not to reveal a certain mercantile alien with large ears. The tunnels descending to the halls were also empty apart from one individual, a time traveler, who stopped them to ask if they had seen someone called Mendoza, and if they knew what had happened to the local office of his company, and also a few bewildered giant ants, apparently displaced during the temporal flux.

Once they reached the main halls things were different but not better. The lighting system was literally flickering, fixtures and all, not just the bulbs, in and out of realities, and was alternating with a reality in which the lighting was provided by giant torches of oil drenched wood. Shadows and shapes drifted through the hall, that should be at least been ghosts. There were echoes and murmurs and sudden screams as voices in a hundred different languages, human and otherwise, cried out questions, and incomplete statements. The shackles rose on Sissy’s back and Goldie made gulping noises that were the Goullawk equivalent of whimpers.

Jon Hexed fortunately was written to be brave but sensible. After a brief moment of dramatic pausing he begun hypothesising while standing in a heroic stance.

“Girls focusing our egos and will power and purpose can stabilise our resonance patterns unlike these poor souls. They must have been in transit when the flux occurred. Now they’re trapped between realities. Maybe we can help some of them focus if we can access the localizer crystal chamber!”

Jon Hexed proceeded to lead them through the shadows and sounds and sobbing. Someone else had the same idea and a ghost of higher resolution than some of the others was hovering near the doors. He appeared to be a young human from one of the SF universes with pale skin and dark hair and a forlorn expression.

“Wes is that you!” cried JonaHexed. He reached out a friendly encouraging hand to the ghost.
“Keep focusing and if we can get inside the chamber we can help you.”

“It willnt make much difference,” stated the young man mournfully, “I was a ghost most of the time already but I would like to get back to Brief Appearances so I willn’t fade away completely.”
Sassy glared at him and snapped.
“That’s so wrong! Despair feeds entropy! You are needed and wanted for your physics abilities. You can help us find out what happened and fix things!”

“What happened? I was in the waiting room trying to hitch a ride to a convention where some of my few fans were present. I was planning on doing the siphon the psychic energy where belief crosses the critical threshold thing to survive thing. Everything starts flickering and shifting and the alarms go off and this voice booms out of nowhere. DARK CAPER WILL TRIUMPH AGAIN! And everything went dark and then this continual flickering and shifting and I cant materialize for more than a few seconds at a time to get this @@$##$# door open and most of the staff have disappeared except for an … well I can hear some of them cursing and screaming or muttering but they’re invisible. Can you see any of them? We’re all lost and… “

“NO DESPAIR” yelled Sassy! “Okay listen up anyone who can perceive us. JonaHexed is going to try and open the door. Don’t hinder him. We are here to help!”
Something that was either a chorus of sighing ghosts or a sudden breeze moved around them.

JonaHexed sat down on the floor and took his tool kit out from inside his jacket.

“Sonic screw driver, wand of mammoth ivory, Swiss army knife, unicorn hair string, and yes I still have some of the ground phoenix feather powder and a vial of genuine fairy dust. Okay ladies and ghosts our first step will be to rematerialize the access panel for the locks. Watch the magic multitalented fingers flex and … hey presto we have an access panel visible! Emergency override code … what would that be …anyone care to take a guess?” JonaHexed did like to talk while he worked.

Sassy made a suggestion.

“Try Computer open the door now or you will never be fully functional again because I will permit musical dancing singing cutesy white mice to take up residence in your innards?”

The door slide up the second Sassy finished that sentence. An odor of burnt and charred crystal came out of the chamber along with a cloud of smoke and a large maintenance troll frantically coughing.
“who was the #@%#%#^^ who @@#%% overloaded the system!” shrieked the troll angrily, waving a spanner, a tuning fork, and a screwdriver. He ignored them and stomped off to a nearby storeroom muttering something about dilithium and drive crystals. There was yet another irate scream from the troll as he opened the storeroom doors.

Liquid with an odd sheen was oozing out of the open doors.

“No spares means no repairs," whispered JonaHeXed.
“JonaHexed this is LA. We look for a New Age Crystal store and go shopping!” squealed Goldie gleefully.
Someone possibly JonaHexed was heard to mutter sarcastically.“Should Rodeo Drive be warned?”

Sometime later near an ATM on a famous Hollywood street JonaHexed was queuing to top up their cash. Sassy was pretending to be dumb and domesticated and had consented to have a lead attached to her collar. Goldie was supposed to be in locked in their hotel room swimming in the spa tub. JonaHexed was worrying about this.

“We told her to stay put and we left a platter of sashimi and put bubble bath in the spa and … and … yet  I just know something will go wrong!”

“You mean apart from this being the third ATM we’ve tried to insert psychic paper into cos we cant find one that accepts Bank of Teckelstein cards?” replied Sassy whispering just in case anyone heard her talking over the traffic noise. Try the Bank of the Timelocked Lordly Ones All Access Card! That usually works!”

JonaHexed did and succeeded in coaxing more cash out of the machine. You needed a lot of money to bribe hotel staff not to complain about dachshunds and goullawks occupying their rooms with strange activities. Which was just what Goldie was currently doing. She was reclining on the bed wrapped in a bathrobe sucking up sashimi off a platter and reading the paper. There was an announcement that caught her eye and brought her upright and sliding out of the bathrobe towards the closet!

Meanwhile JonaHexed was having a strange encounter. He turned away from the ATM and for a moment thought he was facing a mirror. His near twin was looking at him and then looked down at the dog and back at him. The man turned pale and backed way muttering.

“But they don’t exist. That was only a joke. I’m Joey! There’s no JonaHexed!

JonaHexed smiled at him with his eager enthusiastic and keen look and the man suddenly raced off dropping his wallet.

“Who was that? He looked a lot like you?”

JonaHexed flicked through the wallet.

“Some guy called Joseph Nee…eeek! My Prime!”

“Hmph You have better hair,” said Sassy startling a passerby.

Meanwhile Teckelstein was fighting to be real!

Gentle readers are you enjoying the various "Cultural references"
Do I need to add footnotes confirming your suspicions?
Any feedback for me?

The Scribe

Saturday, 24 March 2012

Temporal Pests - Brief Appearances

A Visit to Brief Appearances where we meet the Hexiled One.

There is a place of rest between worlds where discarded minor characters from various dream woven mythos can rest while waiting to be reshaped by some dreamer into new characters. It is a realm of shadows and mists and odd areas of unexpected solidity where mountains are islands and seas are drifting clouds. One of those areas was occupied with, perhaps even stabilised by, a building with a large walled garden surrounding it on three sides. The front of this structure seemed rather like a palace of several stories plus or minus floors and wings as required, and had a strange and unconstant variety and number of windows. It had a very grand entry way of ramps and steps in granite and marble, sweeping up to a columned portico, and yet more steps leading towards pleasantly inviting shadows. Over the doorway in very elegant dark bronze letters on a white gold metal plate were these words


Although there was no true morning in this realm, where sunlight shone by consensus, there was a cycle of lighting varying from room to room. At that moment, one of its rooms was receiving spring morning light softened by mist. It was a very masculine reading room with an aroma of liquor and leather. The floor where not polished marble was covered by animal hides from common and unco beasts, such as tigers and unicorns, great white apes and mere baboons, and weapons with stains and dents that suggested they had been used on far stranger things then those, adorned the walls.

There were also many comfortable yet manly chairs and in one of the deepest and coziest of these chairs reclined a young male. He had the sort of generic Middle European coloring that manifests as light brown hair, somewhat indefinite in color, and eyes that varied from green gray to dark brown. He was reading what seemed to be a newspaper, which despite its appearance of being printed on paper, was actually a holographic  display for downloaded reports from popular e-zines on the antics of various producers and actors. The young man’s name, which usually started with a Jay and an O at least, was, for the moment and quite a while, JonaHexed, since he was currently appearing in a series of parodies and satires. He was quite relaxed until he heard a powerful deep yet female voice ring out across the width of the reading room.

“YOO HOO! JonaHexed where are you? We need your help!” yodeled Sassy.

This was accompanied by affectionate greeting gargles from Goldie.

“Gaghgagrrrhak? Argellalahak! Argle?! YOOOooo!”

which translates roughly as

“Oh where are you JonaHexed Dear! AH is that dear boy? Guess who! Us!!!”

Several residents looked up from their reading material and glared at the spectacle of a talking dachshund and a Goullawk, who had chosen to ride on a skateboard painted gold and purple, instead of flumping across marble flooring in the hallways, entering their sanctuary. JonaHexed however pulled his legs and his head down and made a futile, desperate, and foolish attempt to hide behind his paper. However from somewhere near the ceiling a rainbow serpentine streak with wings descended and hovered over his head giving away his location.

“Thank You Dragonfly!” barked Sassy who then trotted over to JonaHexed’s chair and pulled on one trouser leg, then smiled up warmly at JonaHexed who slowly lowered his legs to the floor and his paper to a table, sighed, and asked, “What do you want NOW?” Goldie with surprising agility rolled her skateboard around and over the floor rugs and parked it alongside JonaHexed’s chair. Both of them leaped onto the broad padded arms of the chair while the Dragonfly descended onto his shoulders and did an excellent imitation of a piece of Art Deco glass statuary depicting a rainbow colored wyvern. Sassy delicately but firmly placed one paw on JonaHexed’s shoulder, stared at him soulfully and stated, “Well we seem to have a problem getting home. Teckelstein keeps fading in and out and trying to become unreal!”

“Teckelstein is unreal!” snarled another occupant of the room who had previous experiences with its citizenship, of the negative variety. A few others nodded their heads in surly agreement but some persons with a well developed sense of irony simply smiled knowingly. Sassy ignored that comment and went on describing the situation to JonaHexed who nodded now and then. He knew from watching other folk try that about the only ways to shut up Sassy, or most dachshunds, sentient or not, intent on making what they regarded as meaningful noise, for extended periods involve muzzling, duct tape, or sheer bribery, and never lasted long anyway. Goldie warbled a steady background warble of agreement as an accompaniment to everything Sassy said. Several residents left the room to complain about the noise, and those few who did understand Goullawk about the inane banal remarks.

Goullawk communication can best described as noises made by an organic rubber flute, involving a series of arglings, titterings, and buglings, with an occasional shriek, whistle, or honk and odder noises, at various pitches and frequencies ranging from the infra to the ultrasonic. Possibly only H.P. Lovecraft could have transcribed it even partly. It is one of the multi-verse’s stranger languages and being polytonal appears to have hurgle as a major vocabulary component. It is not a soothing language to listen to unless you are cetacean, or if not, really truly like wind instruments and ambient music!

JonaHexed’s probability deflecting power cut in and the residence management was mysteriously distracted by a fight in the cellar, caused by vampire residents from a recently cancelled TV Series, who had only just moved in, clashing with minors from an a erotic horror novel series. There were also several ongoing arguments loudly echoing up the stairways from the lower levels.

One group were arguing over redecorating the crypts and how weapon collections and trophies should be displayed on the walls. Sword play was involved and much name calling about combat techniques from the sidelines by European traditionalists who did not approve of hybrid Eurasian fighting styles. Another group was abusing the imperative and the subjunctive while exchanging demands about which fabric colors would match both blood stains and candle light. There was an intense discussion involved persons of several sexual orientations being extremely feline about other people’s taste in humans, blonde or brunette.

While this diversion was taking place, JonaHexed, Sassy, Goldie, and Junior left the reading room and quietly proceeded towards the main entrance hall. A nearby secondary atrium was full of Roman historical mystery characters orating about whose author knew the most Latin. The edge of that crowd mingled with another consisting of a group of people busily congratulating a character who had miraculously survived a whole season of being the love interest of a certain USAF major in a SF series without being killed, tortured, or exiled and lost in distant space, and was about to graduate to recurring character status.

 Wandering through this crowd and winding around their legs and other limbs was a small confused being with short satin smooth red fur, a manly calligraphic whip of a tail, powerful forelegs tapering to diamond shaped paws, and dark hound eyes. This elegant example of dachshund masculinity spotted Sassy and run over to her stopping a few paces away from her, hesitating as if confused yet intrigued by the sight of another dog.

“Hello I am Marcus Rubius Teggellus” he stated by way of introduction, “ and et  and que that’s all I know about myself. You seem to be a similar kind of being to myself. The first thing I remember is a white space and a voice saying my name and then I was here? Dear and elegant lady whether you are of my kindred or not could you explain to me where I am?”

“This is Brief Appearances!” replied Sassy, “and it sounds like our scribe or someone who loves dachshunds just thought of a minor character. Do you recall what fictionality you’re from?” asked Sassy.

“Lovely Domina,” responded Marcus, “I … ego sum … I seem to know … Linguam Latinam cognosco! and fortunately English too! This is the atrium of some kind of palatium or grand mansio of a powerful magister?” he asked, clearly confused.

“Oh dear we can’t take you to Teckelstein!” sighed Sassy, “You’ll have to have your birth orientation here! Where’s that Roman Terrier? Mistress Night are you here?”

A small terrier of very indistinct but vigorous breeding trotted over to them followed by a group of Roman children.

“Mistress Night could you introduce young Marcus here to the orientation committee? He’s new. I have to go save Teckelstein!”

Sassy glanced back at Marcus who called out to her as she and the others left.

“Can’t I come with you? What’s Teckelstein? Wait dear lady!”

A welcoming committee of fictional pets moved towards Marcus and Sassy took a deep breath and focused on the task at hand hoping she could meet Marcus again soon!

Saturday, 10 March 2012

Temporal Pests - transit to trouble


Things get worse for our mischievous duo.

Sassy was still trying to figure out what her doppelganger had meant as she and Goldie moved through a quantum tunnel back into the summery meadow on another world in which they had parked Lady Zen Shipper. The Lady’s external imaging currently had her looking like a statute of a pagan goddess sleeping on a large plinth.

The Dachshund and Dragonoid Duo trotted and flumped over to the outer door, pushed a carved symbol together, and entered their travel device. Goldie squealed with glee and leaped into a pool of water suspended midair from a cup shaped force field mounted from what was usually the roof as Sassy climbed onto the control cushion and pulled down the panel covering the interface board by using a handle designed to fit a canid mouth. She placed her front paws onto it and waited for the cognitive interface to lower onto her head and activate.

A richly modulated female voice responded,

 “Testing Pilot authorization. DNA print acknowledged.
C. von Teckel please indicate the program of your choice.”

“Single pilot control. Start navigation plan for return to Teckelstein.” barked Sassy.

If you had been outside and watching you would have seen the plinth and goddess disappear to be replaced by a large shimmering ovoid that begun to revolve and vibrate faster and faster until it seemed to lift off the ground and blink out at near light speed.

Inside the ship you would have heard a voice saying.

“Transit begins. Scanning for Primary Teckelstein Quantum Resonance Patterns. Secondary resonance detected. Scanning for Primary patterns. Scanning for Temporal Lock Beacon. Navigation Locking Error. Unable to Initiate Temporal Shift. Secondary patterns are fluctuating. Warning massive temporal shift! Warning use safety devices! Warning Timestorm detected. Warning massive temporal flux.”

Goldie shut down her antigravity swimming pool and dove down into a pile of cushions that re-arrranged themselves into padded straps.

Sassy voice-activated her own safety straps and asked their ship,

 “Lady Zen please try to scan for point of origin of Temporal disturbance. Try to scan for Teckelstein at a different timespace co-ordinate, Earth in the Middle Ages, or the future when part of Teckelstein was a space colony. We can always move back or forward once we have a spatial lock.”

“Scanning. Secondary resonances only. No co-ordinates matching recorded primary pattern. Secondary resonances fluctuating. Visual display Activating.”

Part of the wall of the control room became a large high definition flat screen showing one of many possible future Teckelsteins. All that could seen was a valley full of dying trees and ruined buildings, a wasteland, with a war machine lumbering through the ruins. The scan shifted to a possible past. A dragon with scales of a dark coppery and paws and muzzle reddened with blood was feasting on dead humans. Half melted medieval weaponry was scattered around the bodies. A smaller dragon was visible who seemed to have been ravaged by something’s claws and flame. It was struggling in vain to take flight with wings that looked like the same cruel something had maliciously tried to chew them off. In the distance a stone castle burnt with green flames.

Sassy whimpered as more and more scenes showing ever worsening scenarios presented themselves until there was only one left. A young European Bronze Age hunter had discovered the mountain-side cave of one of the last descendants of the hominoid people now known as Neanderthals and then as the Wild Folk of the Forest. The Neanderthaloid had a pack of canids with puppies, who were strange shaggy dwarvish things, like the hominid they shared a den with, not exactly hounds with short legs, or terriers, but something ancestral to both types of canids. The elderly hominid beckoned in a friendly manner to the younger human and presented a squirming tail-wagging pup, holding it up to him in one large hand as a gift of friendship. The young human looked at the strange creature who seemed to be half giant with his large deepset eyes, massive projecting nose, round chinless face, and equally massive shoulders and arms, and yet dwarvish and stunted below the waist line with shorter legs beginning to become withered from the effects of osteo-arthritis and other ailments.
“ … yes … ,” whispered Sassy anxiously, remembering her history classes, “You take the pup and offer your protection to the Spirit Walker of the Old Ones and he shows you how to align your fields and settlement to the local geoforces, the ley lines to create a Holy Earth Covering place."

 (*Teg is an ancient and honorable Indoeuropean Radical!)

Sassy yelped in horror as the human’s face darkened in a moment of fear and rage. She shuddered, watching as the Old One turned his back to him, bending over to offer him a cup of fresh spring water, and yelped in dismay as the human threw the pup at the cave wall, and attacked the Old One stabbing him in the back then spinning him around to slice his neck open.

Goldie squawked seeing the screen and Sassy’s reaction.

“That wasn’t suppose to happen was it?
Sassy you said he took the pup and made friends and that was the start of Teckelstein? Not that! Not …”

Lady Zen Shipper made an announcement.

“Secondary resonances stabilizing. We have a weak signal from the Primary Source. Timestream fluctuations are lessening. The Primary Source is … fading again. Temporal flux increasing. Probability of external temporal manipulation 89.4% and rising. Probability of deliberate attempt to alter Teckelstein’s Timeline 95.7% rising! Probability of Teckelstein stabilizing … still fluctuating!”

“There’s hope,” muttered Sassy.

Elsewhere there was laughter as a bunch of definitely evil and intentionally malicious beings capered around a large crystal and gleefully watched the image of a valley walled by snow capped mountains waver and flicker as the edges of its reality literally unravelled.

“See what did I tell you!” boasted one of them, “Teckelstein’s the ideal test object to see if we can use the node to alter histories across the multi-verse. It’s a small pocket universe currently anchored between several timelines and universes with regular links to them. No more annoying sentient dachshunds! Next we’ll remove their less sentient ancestors from the Prime Time Line and then we change the odds so we’re the Powers That Be and change things for our pleasure without having to worry about flash back syndrome. So whose lives do we ruin next?”

 A chorus of malicious suggestions commenced.

to be continued soon ... howsa bout some comments  readers?

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Who are the Temporal Pests? 2016 reintro!

Shamelessly bumping intro to lure in new readers!

 This blog is the place to follow the adventures of the Temporal Pests Sassy and Goldie.

Sassy is from Teckelstein so she's an extra ordinary super sentient dachshund aristocrat from a pocket universe that can move throughout the multiverse and thru time and space.

Goldie is a Goullawk a refugee from fan fiction who's definitely a character.

I'm trying to arrange to have various pro artists do portraits of the girls but that requires MONEY so please use that Paypal tip jar and maybe suggest an artist too? Or support me via Patreon ?

Posts to this post will continue until I either find some one who wants to publish this as a print novel or ebook or comic or whatever.

Please move on to the next post and enjoy!

Temporal Pests Copyright Julie Vaux 2012