Sunday, 25 November 2012

Let there be Ba#$

Let There be Ba#$s!

"So why do we need the boys to build a transstellar transport device that generates wormholes," asked JonaHexed, who hadn't been allowed to read the list yet?

"Something happens to Reg's Taxi but that's not for another hour," answered Sassy.

"But we have Lady Zen Shipper?" stated Jonahexed.

"Apparently building the gate allows a lost and forgotten character to return."

"So who's next," asked Fluvia, leaning closer to read down the list which Goldie was holding up in her mouth for Sassy to read," THEM? the little blue pests!"

No Dear Readers not the ones starting with S.

Meanwhile a memorial statue of a fuzzy elfish being in San Francisco was  surrounded by a horde or swarm of small blue beings all wailing,

"They killed Daddy B@#f! They killed Papa B@#f!"

"And Hewlett finally caught the last of us and banned us from the school grounds!" bewailed another holding an empty whiskey bottle.

Lady Zen Shipper appeared next to the normally invisible yet oddly never a hazard to aircraft or avians giant comatose alien.

"Look!" squealed one of the smarter Ba#$fs who instead of crying had been panhandling from tourists, "its the Dragon Queen and the Time Lady and the Teckel Princess!"

The Ba#$ stopped crying and swarmed over to the Girls.

"Hello boys!" barked Sassy, "wanna a job!"

To be continued in the usual erratic manner.

Monday, 19 November 2012

Meet the Constructor

Meet the Constructor !

and a few other familiar faces

"Wow!" exclaimed Sassy looking at the scanner, "We didn't vaporize most of Pasadena though it is a bit singed ..."

"well" cackled Jonahexed grabbing his hands together, "Now to see if our evil plan worked hehehe.

Fluvia slapped him.

"I told him not to dress up in that horror movie outfit!"

She grabbed him by an ear.

"Bath time for you in blessed water!

Fortunately I'm used to handling adults who act like twelve year olds!"

JonaHexed whimpered and inside his container Dark Caper giggled and crooned.

People who had been possessed by him were prone to lingering moments of odd behaviour.

"So dramatic entrance via teleport to see if we zapped the Gang?" asked Goldie," and can I wear my Power Goullawk vest?"

"The one you cut down from Pee Gee's old outfits?" asked Fluvia,"ah  does it still have the ... ???"

"Humph I took out the gag boobs!" snapped Goldie.

Meanwhile several thousand feet below smoke was clearing and clothes had changed.

"Howie," squealed Mrs Wolowiz,"you look awesome!"

"In a strangely Kirbysque way?" observed Leon.

The Waitress was now wearing a white and gold outfit with a large P on the very tight front and Mrs Wolowiz a miniskirt thigh high boots and a swimsuit apparently designed by Mike Grell.

Leon was just about to realise his own outfit now resembled Coluan haute couture circa the thirty first century when a classic Trek teleport sfx filled the middle of the room.

"oh nooo!" moaned Super Pandit in his delightful accent,"it is the little doggie and the very nagging mini naga queen and ... hello mature but sexy I'm Raaa ..."

Goldie slapped him into silence.

Becoming Super pandit had cured his selective mutism.

Fluvia just looked bemused.

"Sorry sweetie I have a man!"

"look Ladies just why are you here?" asked Leon," and aren't you Riv...?"

"Hush sweetie we don't want to attract any copyright lawyers with no sense of humor?!"

"My future self told me to arrange an "accident" so you'ld all get super powers and we can return to the Node and reset reality," explained Sassy.

"Reset reality? Why we have super powers now!" shouted Wolowiz.

"Well apart from the fact Super Pandit is probably going to get himself killed hitting on someone with more powers than him ... " as she said this Super Pandit was hovering in a position that allowed him a close up view of Fluvia's cleavage, " ... take a look at the news update showing on the TV.

"Yes it's official folks we have several versions of the Justice League and Avengers fighting about who the real ones are in the streets of Manhattan and we're about to cross over for an exclusive interviews with Guy Gardener who claims to be the one and only real Green Lantern.

"Our reality now includes Guy Gardener? Okay that could be a problem ... "

"And what if Galactus or Thanos are real now or did you miss the story about Latveria?" asked Sassy.

Leon shuddered.

Sassy continued reading her notes.

"Oh Mr Wolowiz you are now the CONSTRUCTOR! Think about making something.


Wolowiz reached out a hand. Energy suddenly surged down it and a hover bike appeared.

"Hey can I have a new car?" asked the Waitress.


"Mmm that's your super power Persuasion!"

"And what do I do?" asked Mrs Wolowiz .

"mmm you're the Shrieker with super sonic shouting power according to my notes," answered Sassy.

"So ladies what can the CONSTRUCTOR imagineer for you?"

"Ah guys ... and ladies what about the other problem?" asked Leon pointing at teh whiteboard.

A drawing had appeared of a bluejay pointing at a man wearing a black cape with a familiar expression of assumed superiority next to a symbol combining a flower and a spiral and a note saying Meemaw's Moonpie is with the super villians at the Node.

"What's the Node?" asked the Waitress,"A comic book shop?"

"Earlier this day ..."

Readers if you've just visited go back to the first post and read the opening chapters!

Thank You!

And will someone please use the Paypal box ?

Monday, 12 November 2012

One Lab Accident

"Now what's next on our list?" asked Goldie, although she was quite capable of reading it herself.

Sassy was squinting earnestly with a very serious expression at the list.

"We've got cavalry and air support but we need a flock of dodos and to arrange a freak storm in pasadena to cause a lab accident to an Amy FF, some called pennypennypenny! and Bernie ... is ... gosh who wrote this for me ... is that name wolowiz?"

Meanwhile in Pasadena other people had similar ideas and two Ph.D., a Masters in Engineering and a waitress were setting up chemicals and other devices while Mrs Wolowiz and Superpandit were watching them. Superpandit was floating four feet off the floor as his new levitation abilities had gotten stuck on HOVER.

"Okay people if we're right about how the laws of physics have changed an open window a kitchen bench covered with dangerous chemicals and  a few of his hairs should allow us to locate the East Texan Mantis Monster along with this picture Stuie draw for us and the scrabble board on the table.

Now how do we get the freak weather or electrical discharge?"

Some short time later in the stratosphere Lady Zen Shipper was cloud herding disguised as an airship with camo gray cloud patterns.

"All right are we above Pasadena yet?  Everyone got their safety googles on?" asked JonaHexed dressed in a dashing 30s style lab jacket steam punk googles and black rubber boots.

"Oh can I do the count down wehn you pull the lever?" squealed Goldie!

"Lets all do it start chanting folks!" cried JonaHeXed as he started moving the lever downwards.

"TEN!" There was a humming sound.

"NINE!" An whiff of ozone!

"EIGHT!" Well yeah you're going to have to READthe SFX unless I suddenly start getting ahelluva lot of Paypal tokens of appreciation so I can pay a PRO to draw this and other scenes and no one has used the paypal yet and Christmas is coming and ...

"SEVEN" Fluvia's hair begun to frizz with static electricity and Sassy's heckles rose.

"SIX" Down in Pasadena the waitress exclaimed

"Oh a freak unforecast storm!"

"FIVE" "Everyone get inside the circle or stand next to the chemicals!" shouted one of the Ph.D's in Pasadena.




Okay everyone reader participation time!


A massive discharge of over excited molecules wove a mass of air into a pathway for power and flashed downwards thru the window.

Next time have our fearless heroines made new allies?

Friday, 2 November 2012

So now what

So now what

well the girls are still working their way down their list

So now what!?

"So now what do we do?" asked Goldie as she and Sassy ticked more names off

their list.

"Well we need more police and and some one to fit a harness for the Vortex

manipulator and a few giant robots and ...him?"

"OH this is definitely a job for me!" exclaimed Sassy.

Some time later further up time in what looks like a holiday resort Sassy

trotted across a garden terrace following a trail of cigarette smoke.

Some one was hiding behind some bushes nervously puffing.

"Hello Major Mayor!" barked Sassy.

The smoker shied and neighed. Sassy evaded the hooves of his lower limbs  and

the cigarette he dropped from his hand.

The being who had centaur cousins swore in an obscure Rural Germanic dialect

and placing both hands on his front hips glared down at the dachshund.

"What do you want?!"

"How would you like to take a break from this place without going missing?"

asked Sassy.

"me go AWOL?!" he asked.

"Oh not really since technically you'll have never left the grounds!"

"Tell me more!"

"Yes do tell us more!" demanded a natural blonde with a delicate golden pink

complexion yet masculine figure.  His distinguished sky pilot friend standing

by his stared at Sassy and muttered something that sounded like
"my god they're breeding talking dogs now!"

"Oh Peachy Person says on my list I need a rider with a white horse and a WW2

so you and your friend can come and play too!" exclaimed Sassy.

"Phoenix is ... "

A dainty yet fiery Arab Berber Mare suddenly appeared out of nothing and

trotted up to the Peachy One who embraced her.

Sassy muttered a quick prayer to whatever entity was responsible and thought

she heard some one sigh in happy acknowledgement.

( with apologies to Donna Barr but you were being so mean to poor Stinz over in AFTER DEAD and I thought he deserved a break!)


If you can "get" my sense of humor you'll probably enjoy Stinz too!