Thursday, 13 November 2014

Hints for Grant Ward

Apparently next week if you're a US viewer lucky people sob
  #GrantWard of #AgentsofShield will be having some very special family fun time with his brother Satan er Xtian er well he's an evil Republican senator so here are some suggestions for things they can do together.

1)Throw Xtian into the boot of your car along with a phone set on speaker and as you drive sing into your phone to the tune of 10 Green bottles on a wall


2) He's a Republican Senator

tie him up and make him watch his own mid term advertising  several hundred times

3) He's a Republican Senator

You tube clips of Obama talking and smiling and being happy !

4) Tell him you're going to visit the last of your SHIELD and HYDRA emergency caches and donate to whoever his Democrat opponent is

5) He's a Republican Senator.

Give him some drug that temporarily blocks him from speaking dress him as a homeless person or remove all his ID and then leave him at a public hospital emergency room with a note taped to his clothing.

"I voted against Affordable Healthcare and extra funding for homeless vets!"

I do wonder what the script writers will come up with?

Saturday, 1 November 2014

Ward Wolf


I just got a delivery of some memos from someone's desk.

Director C&*#$% to All Staff

The Smoked Salmon is missing again!
I refuse to believe it was stolen by a talking dachshund.
There is NO such thing as a dimensional hopping sentient dachshund!

The pawprints leading to Vault D were NOT Funny.

When I'm on the subject of Vault D there is no truth to the claim Agent Skype walks "the monster from the vault" on a leash when there's a full moon.

I also want to speak to the person who smuggled a chocolate labrador Retriever onto the base. It is currently in my office trying to be friendly and wears a tag with the name "Buddy". Not funny!

Director C@#$%^# to all agents.

There is now a shoot on sight authorization for anyone entering food storage without written authorization. My clearance level has its privileges. Smoked salmon is one of them.

While I was off consulting with that Doctor from UNIT someone graffitied these words  on my office wall ...It's KREE! No spray paint is to be removed from the machine shop without authorization. Also why is there a copy of something called the Guide to the Marvel on my desk? We all know there are NO mutants or hidden cities in the Himalayas! Really People!

Director C#$%&*@ to All Staff

Wardwolf has escaped.
 More importantly my smoked salmon is still going missing!
And that chocolate labrador is still on base!
It is drooling at my plate of cookies!
I want that dog off base and the salmon returned or a locker search will be made!

Have I mentioned Goullawks and Teckelsteiners love salmon?