Wednesday, 29 August 2012

A visit from Tara

SCRIBAL NOTE this post belongs BEFORE Back in the Homeland

I had to repost it since it got accidentally deleted)

A visit from Tara

The Boddhisattva of Compassion manifests in many ways.

In recent centuries she's allegedly taken taken to manifesting as a young Asian woman and prefering avatars with far shorter names than her or his oldest Sanskrit title or job description, looking down with compassion on humans and lesser beings ready and willing to help them. Read Blofeld.

Sassy had picked up Goldie from Dragonmont and aboard Lady Zen Shipper they and Fluvia were discussing how to get hold of a Vortex Manipulator.
Fluvia's would not work for a Teckelsteiner unless she was carrying Sassy and future self Sassy clearlyy had been travelling on her own and the list she had given them clearly said get your own Vortex manipulator.

Unfortunately that required uptime travel which apparently had stopped working shortly after they fetched Fluvia since an attempt to visit the century in her universe in which time travel was discovered had lead only to Lady Zen Shipper repeatedly materializing on a rocky desert island with a large sign saying ALL UP TIME TRAVEL BANNED UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE BY THE AUTHORITY OF THE ..... we'll spare you the bureaucratese.

"Darlings a thought!" declared Fluvia with a wickedly intelligent gleam on her eye, "ever heard of the Cardiff Rift?"

Shortly thereafter the waterfront of Cardiff acquired a new statue which no one noticed since they all thought it was a prop for some BBC Wales TV program and it was so late at night it was literally the first hour of morning and although its not always raining in Wales in the version of Wales that produced Sportinas it certainly was this morning in Cardiff!

A small procession of PARASOL wielding femme fatales made their way over the stones to a closed tourist information booth. (WOULD SOMEONE LIKE TO DRAW THIS?)  Fluvia picked up the lock and overrode the security system easily since some one with admin level user privileges had created passwords that required knowledge of Linear A Cretan, a 31st century TransGalactic Creole, and the names of ten US presidents who hadnt even been voted into office yet.

The girls proceded downwards to a large central where a forlorn pet pterodactyl was roosting up near the ceiling crooning for scraps.
There was however no one human present though there was a signed note for someo one with a Welsh name stating that the person on duty had been called away on a urgent case and promised to make up for it doing something perversely affectionate later.

"But if he's not here neither is his Vortex Manipulator!" snapped Fluvia.

"So where can we get another one in this century?" asked Sassy

Fluvia glanced to the monitors several of which were displaying updates of the Converging worlds situation.

"Mmm this sortof event generally drives time travellers way however ..."

Fluvia had a very promising glint in her eye.

"... does anyone really believe NOT one single one of those  time lordlings had the sense to escape Galli ..."

Goldie interrupted with a pertinent and actually relevant observation

"ah Fluvia dear ... " one of those monitors is showing ebay and and and "

The three of them looked at the monitors and squealed gleefully in unison.

Unfortunately it was another trap as the person claiming to be a Cambridge professor who owned an certain anachronistic device wasnt.

A hour or so later the girls reached the rooms of a semi retired academic only to find the door locking firmly tight behind them as they confronted DARK CAPER again and still riding poor JonaHexed.

The room filled with evil laughter that was really atonal and unmusical.

"Fools you left yr friend behind and now he is MINE! not that anyone else wanted him even for fanfic but hahaha me ponting that out made him more vulnerable to possession HAHAHA BWANANANAHAHAHA! Oh and I actually do have a Vortex manipulator.

Dark Caper whirled it around in front of them teasingly making poor Jonahexed smirk.

"Well excuse me darling but there's 3 of us and one of you and we could just take it?" pointed out fluvia reaching out with one arm and drawing her pistol with her other hand."

Sassy jumped up and diverted Fluvia's hand away from Dark Caper.

"NO Fluvia if you touch him he'll jump hosts to you!"

"Does dear JonaHexed have a thick skull?" crooned Fluvia picking up one of the many books lying around the rooms. It was a hardback entitled Shada.

A few minutes later Jonahexed was slowly coming to what passed for normal for him and  Dark Caper thanks to the judicious application of fire tongs and a poker, along with a thrown copy of Shada, and several volumes of the Encyclopaedia Galactica, was lying on the carpet trapped under a hearth rug.

"Well we've got our dear Jonahexed back and a Vortex manipulator?

What's next on the list?" asked Goldie as they reached the outer courtyard where Lady Zen Shipper was parked.

"Hey is anyone else feeling cold all of a sudden and the light's going. Where did this big shadow come from?" remarked the Goullawk.

They looked up at a very large and unfriendly dragon who normally resided on an unique inselberg in a northern land of another fictional realm.

"They're going to pay me in gold for your bodies ladies!" he hissed, "Pray for mercy and maybe you're be delivered as a slightly charred still alive body?"

"Okay thank you we will pray!" replied Sassy.

"Holy Virgin and Spirit and Nagas and Nhats and Saint Francis who loves small animals .." begun Sassy.

"Lost and forgotten gods, new and old,  and darling Doctor or anybody, saints and boddhisattvas,!" added fluvia.

"Dragon riding Tara Descend!" Screamed Goldie!

And she did.

A dragon with scales all othe colors of the rainbow and other colors as well suddnely appeared hovering between them. Standing on its back balancing without reins or harness was a young girl wearing a combination of riding leathers and a large silk wrap that seemed to be changing shape form head scarf to veil to cape and back.

Golden lotus petals rained down on them. The odor of spice and perfume wafted thru the air and a quartet of student musicians suddnely begun playing music in a room facing the courtyard.

The visitor from an isolated mountain gulped down a mouthful of the lotus petals bowed his head respectfully and disappeared.


To be continued!

And finally a word from yours truly the humble scribe  ...

if some of you are wondering why there's such a long gap between such short instalments well the girls have a limited grasp of the concept oF linear time ... they tell to tell me bits and pieces and  patches and shreds of tales about their adventure and OUT OF SEQUENCE!

next time and hopefully sooner what's happening in Teckelstein!

Back in the Homeland

Back in the Homeland

Back on sassy's homeland of Teckelstein which A.F. First Minister for just about everything liked to refer to as the Uberheimat (Yes that was a philology joke) and others as that confounded floating giant dog kennel a meeting was being held of desperate beings huddled around a fireplace.

A.F. was convening it and a list of what still worked and what didnt was being revised.

"Confluence Drive?"

"Flickering in and out of an interphasic state."

"Planoforming Engines?"

"Barely maintaining the atmospheric shield."

"Battery power?"

"All Batteries running at 30% and falling."

"Antimatter reactor?"

"We have one of those?"

"Lieber Gott Someone go down to cavern 366 and try a Cold restart!"

"Wormhole generators boomtubes and jumpgates?"

"They open and but don't lead anywhere but the Wood between the Worlds."


"None of them were in dock when we got cut off but there's one in maintenance disassembled and lacking a power source or crystals."

"Well gentlebeings there is one option left but it requires sacrifice ..."

"Not the Stone of Darkened Destiny?"

"I barely have a soul! I'm not sacrificing it!"

"You're not innocent enough!" retorted another.

"Gentlebeings! gentlebeings! Order Please!"

"No not the Stone of Darkened Destiny! That's safely locked up until we can jettison it into a blackhole or an epic story line that's so sadistic to its characters that it's the only possible plot resolution!"

(Scribal Note mmm well  I can think of several "Interminable Epics")

"Does anyone know where we can find a Cinatmani?" asked another.

"No gentle beings let's try the power of prayer!"

"Whch deity do we petition?"

"All of them?"

Someone got down on their knees and started praying
"Oh mighty all praiseworthy Demented Continuum Editors we beg thee ... "

"Oh sainted Kirby...." "Great bird of the Galaxy ..."


A.F. barked authoritatively.

"Gentlebeings we have not yet faded out of existence completely so we must have some readers left so let us pray together!

"oh mighty congeries of fannish readers and whosoever loveth dachshunds and complicated continaul pop culture cross genre references and whoseever has a sense of humor and can appreciate parody and satire and metatext and intertext cry out to all the powers and persons that have been are in being and will become moved by the power that by sweet Charity and Agape that moves the sun and stars shout out these words.


Shout it out threefold tenfold a hundred fold!



There was a silence so terrible and ominous that it literally darkened the skies or the batteries droppped further.

Then all the remaining electrical lights and chemical devices such as wax candles and oil lamps flickered at all and flared up just  a little.

"Battery power jumped to 34%!"

"Progress is Slow" sighed A.F.

Help fuel up Teckelstein!

Recite the magic words


and share this url with friends.

Next time back in the UK .

Sunday, 12 August 2012

More Doctors

More Doctors

Univeres are coalescing and turning into strange vast congeries.

Most of the people who are supposedly to be responsible for stopping this sort of thing are captive at the Node.

So who do you turn to?

On a remote planet on a semitropical island of the sort that really has fruit trees and nit just coconut palms someone had a hammock strung between two trees safely above the high tide line and was sipping a fruity kind of drink while nearby a blue object was catching the sun.

The blue object suddenly started humming like a beeswarm about to attackthen a small object came hurtling out of the skies and hovered between the blue object and the sunbather.

"Hello a message box!" exclaimed the sunbather, "For me!"

The box opened and shrieked on sonic and psionic frequencies.


"Bother ... ah well rarely a dull moment hey old girl!?" observed the sunbather while sauntering over and into the blue object.

"What's this I have 3000 messages?"

"Doctor Universes are colliding again! I have Albert Campion and Lord Peter Wimsey in my office and Biggles and most of John Buchan's characters and Lord Greystoke and ..."

"and Winnie's office isn't that large.." mused the person with several hundred doctorates. "hello here's one from ...when did or will I give my phone number to a Henry McCoy, a Dr. Nemesis, and a Dr. Richards?

Also I have messages from a Dr. Savage, the U.N., and oh no! FLUVIA!"

"Hello Sweetie Don't pick me up tonight and maybe tomorrow night too! I'm having a girls' night with guess who? We're shopping for a Vortex Manipulator! "

"Girls? Girls!" shrieked yet another doctor, "which girls?

No NO ... couldn't be... not those girls?"

Across the universe other doctors were panicking!

to be continued sooner or later sooner if I start getting more followers or my late winter pollen allergy attack clears up soonest!?