Saturday, 29 September 2012

what fresh hell

What Fresh Hell for Fabrics!

The girls were interrogating Dark Caper who was confined within a large glass jar with a screwtop lid so it couldnt be opened from inside.

"Okay you insolent piece of sentient cloth TALK!" snapped Goldie!

"They promised ..." whimpered the villianous fabric its folds quivering with fear and angst or possibly just embarassment at being defeated so easily YET AGAIN, "they promised this time we win and get what we want!

Let me out! Let me go! I need a body! Lemme OUT! OUT! OUT!"

The jar rattled as Dark Caper writhed.

Fluvia held up pinking shears and waved them.

Dark Caper whimpered again.

"Who promised?" asked Goldie.

"Mister L sent messages to all the others. All the great ones. Many of us lesser ones. Instead of fighting the heroes we attack one of the nodes. A node with a cintamani! Mr. L made a big wish!"

"Mister L made a big wish for himself not everyone else!
And that Big wish somehow cut Teckelstein off from most realities and dreamings!" snarled Sassy.

"Mister L said now we control the node we can all have a wish. So long as we can keep the heroes away until the next wish and Mister L is very clever!"

(Scribal Note If you're reading the blogpost version go back and reread wimblytime!

For the lazy ...

"I A@#$^&*@( L56789 of Continuum %@ offer up my soul in return for denying access to this node and wishing jewel for three days Earth Greenwich Time twentieth century to any being or power who can stop me re-inserting my cloneson back into my reality on the understanding that a) whatever happens after the three day period my clone son remains real and gets to live to a healthy old age dying a heroic death and b) related and linked condition the first person to make a wish after that three day period can not undo this one whatever happens to me so may it be!")

"I don't see how this big wish effects Teckelstein unless ..." speculated Fluvia, " ... unless ...what does this wishing jewel do ? Anything apart granting wishes?"

"oh that's all it does so the Time Cops keep it at the node so it can't be used except to correct major reality distortions!" answered Sassy.

"oh girls there's a clue there somewhere reality distortions, crossovers between universes and Teckelstein blocked from ours."

There was a rattling sound as Dark Caper's folds shifted like black ink inside the jar as the Evil Textile tried to shift its mass to unbalance the the jar so it would fall over and maybe crack open.

Blocked ... balanced ... flowing ...." muttered Fluvia," shfiting balance ... fluid mass ... oh girls EEEEurekaaa!"

"That's a Greek verb," remarked Goldie.

"no no no darlings don't you see History can be rewritten becasue Time flows! panta ..."

"Time is a river and they're interfered with the water works!" shrieked  Dark Caper.

"Breached the dam walls and washed Teckelstein away!" yelped Sassy.

"No all the worlds and universe floating joining together in a mess of flotsam and wreckage making it possible for l's wish to be granted because the usual agents of order cant untangle the mess so there must be someone or several people associated with Teckelstein who can?!" cried Fluvia.

"SO Teckelstein's floating around like a cork out of a bottle?" asked Goldie.

"I'ld like to be floating out of this glass jar. Its Fresh hell for me!" demanded Dark Caper.

"Bother we're the agents of order aren't we?" snapped Sassy, "cos we don't hate Lex's boy so the wish doesnt effect us?

"SOOO now what!" demanded Goldie.


Tuesday, 18 September 2012

In the Oval office or somewhere near by.


"Definitely a crisis!
We have ten alien battle invasion fleets in orbit fortunately all currently fighting each other!
Ryleh has risen up out of the Pacific Ocean.
Godzilla is break dancing in Tokyo.
An island full of mutated people with unusual abilities has appeared off San Francisco.
The Deep Ones took a bus from Boston to Washington and are outside demanding Marine Hybrid rights lead by some one called Ramona.
K.A.O.S. now has an office in New York."


The SHIELD helicarrier is now hovering near the Statue of Liberty.
Homeland Security and the CIA are having a collective hissy fit over that Sir."

"Afraid they'll lose funding?"

"Some possible good news Sir!
Drs.Richards, Pym, McCoy, Strange, Samson, Nemesis, and Savage, along with Larsen, are getting ready for a Skype conference with you."

"and the rest of the world?"

"Satellite photos show various islands phasing in and out off the East Coast, in the Black Sea, and the Caribbean, and the Scillies are bobbing up and down like a yoyo. The Brits and U.N.I.T are trying to find what's left of some specops group called Torch something and where Winston left the special phone that can call an freelancer specialist called the Doc and several mysterious previously  Lost cities have appeared in Tibet, Africa, and South America. Shoggoth have been spotted attacking the Japanese Whaling fleet and that town where they do things to dolphins and the HQs of various dolphin capture organizations.

Finally sir we found the Chocolate Phone."

"The one that rings Teckelstein?"

"That's not good news Sir. We tested it and all we're getting is out of order and this number is no longer available messages."

"Okay the Vaults at AREA 51? and do we have Vampire Agents now?"

They've escaped or gone on strike sir!"

"Do we have a head count of superheros yet?"

"They're all attacking the offices and studios of their creators Sir and we now have giant wolves and elves on the streets of  L.A. San Francisco and Poughkeepsie and Gargoyles in New York and there's more bad news Sir."


"Republican party representatives are driving towards Storybrooke Maine hoping to recruit that Mills woman."

"Where did my wife hide the cigarettes this time!"

Next time more dachshund and goullawk action !

Tuesday, 11 September 2012

It was very difficult to impress a Goullawk queen and a dachshund who routinely flit about throughout time and space but a conversation with an avatar of a Boddhisattva riding a dragon will do it.

"Gosh I'm sorta Catholic" muttered Sassy, "I was expecting the Angel in charge of Dachshunds or Saint Francis or maybe Saints Jack and Ron?"

(Scribal note if you cant figure it from the next line consider what the nicknames were of two leading mid twentieth century academics who were also writers.)

"Jack and Ron are busy having a talk with that producer in New Zealand.
Now Ladies you two are straying off the WAY ..."

"But we're following the list!" interrupted Goldie.

"Yes girls but are you thinking about why certain people and items are on the list?" retorted Tara firmly yet gently. "For example you already have Lady Zen Shipper so why will you be using a Vortex Manipulator? Have you thought about why certain people are not on that list? what that means? Please go somewhere quiet for a while and think about it?

Tara departed leaving behind a lingering aroma of blossom and a layer of petals all over the courtyard to the initial annoyment of the groundskeeper until a few months later he noticed the compost he added the swept up blossoms to was unusually effective.

Fluvia who had been extremely quiet for her while Tara had been speaking lead them off to a teashop for scones with jam and cream and a large pot of Ti Kuan Yin tea to ingest while they reconsidered their list.

Next time its an Oval Office

Thursday, 6 September 2012

An Irrresponsible Interlude

An Irresponsible Interlude

We interrupt your scheduled reading with an out of sequence snippet due to the girls' limited grasp of linear time responsibility and copyright.

Somewhere vaguely beyond.

"Plock! plock! plock!"

"Here Pickwickie Marshmallows!"

"Plock? Plockplockplock?!" in a happy way.

"Come on Pickie time to go home! Just follow the trail of marshmallows! That's a good small blue reconstructed dodo!
Home Pickie! Remember Thursday! and the day after that?"

"Plock! Plock! Plock!" Excitedly.

"and you remember the day after Monday?"

"PLOCK!Plock!plock!" Running off panicking.

"Well now you've gone and frightened her!"

The girls and I have been reading jasper (is the extra f for funny?)forde.

'nuff said.

Oh there will be more dodos. Later.