Saturday, 31 May 2014

Falling Hounds, Chainsaws and More Mayhem.

Previously in Temporal Pests, our  trepid canine heroine was about to enter the Time Vortex, our other heroine got squashed by a giant robot, and a large section of our supporting cast is trapped in a control room ...

BOOM bang thump BOOM

the door was vibrating and starting to crack and that was the last thing Sassy saw before she was swept into the Vortex between worlds and realms, swirling away on the winds that are time, caught in temporal currents, and hopefully being swept along to the exit point for her destination.

While many of our supporting cast were were getting ready to fight when the door collapsed or dissolved one of them was franticly typing commands at a terminal and another was outside and hadn't entered at  all.

The Clown Prince of Crime had never entered the control room at all but had discovered a gardener's shed and a chainsaw.

He sauntered and strutted back towards the assembled villanry and then checked stopped, posed inspiringly for artists, fired up the chainsaw and shrieked,


and then quietly added , " ... and without inviting moi?"

A lot of people started running. More importantly most of them stopped attacking the door and  turned their weapons towards him.

Somewhere beyond time and space as we know it a rock floats and on it is nothing about a door. All you have to do to open that door is to knock on it and think or say where you want to go.

Sassy landed on that rock.

To be continued!

Saturday, 17 May 2014

and more than Time is broken ...

I'm not sure if my phone app uploaded the update about my broken arm.

People due to a fracture of the right radius bone near my elbow and conseuqnet muscle stiffness spasms aches pains and twinges etc I've only been able to resume typing with more than one finger this week!

Clearly a plot by the forces of evil to hinder Sassy and Goldie!?

A Memo from a Certain Director

As regular readers ( do we have any?) have noticed my co-writers Sassy and Goldie distract easily and instead of informing me what happened next in strict and correct linear temporal sequence go off in tangents or bring me memos like this which appears to have come from the office of someone just promoted to Director of a certain organisation this week

Director C&*$&n to All STAFF and OFFICES)
To be distributed by email and print

RE: Salvage ops

It has come to my attention that certain individuals are selling fragments of various facilities and equipment on ebay. This will cease immediately!

Someone tried to sell LOLA! I know she needs repairs but we are not selling LOLA to raise funds for rebuilding.

I know it seemed like a good idea but someone using the ebay ID of HULKBUSTER showed up with several trucks and tried to enter restricted areas claiming they had bid successfully for salvage rights!

No more ebay auctions!


NO further action will be taken if the person who sprayed Buddy Lives and Phil's Family Fun Therapy UNIT on the outside of my AIRBUS removes it. Promptly. You have 24 hours. The same applies to the person or people  who thought it was funny to spray WHY HULK SEE RED YET TURN GREEN? in the corridor outside Dr Banner's lab.  Likewise the individual who sprayed VOTE ONE STARK for BIGGER BETTER SHINY TOYS!

This is not a democracy or dictatorship.

Staff performance reviews.

A lot of you need to come up with something better than
"Hey I just yelled Hail Hydra because everyone else was doing it!"

Who put a chocolate labrador retriever inside Agent Ward's debriefing room?

He is now sobbing hysterically and babbling intel about Hydra between bouts of gambolling around the room playing with the dog. If anyone thinks they're helping him do an insanity plea ... this will not work!

I have no record of any agents using the IDs Sassy or Goldie!

Sincerely Intent on rebuilding our organisation

P.S. The next person who claims they saw a purple dragonoid on a skateboard and a talking dachshund will report for immediate psych evaluation!

Friday, 16 May 2014

Consequences and Convergences or Return of the Queen and other stuff

Meanwhile back in the "real" world events were almost as odd as those occurring at the Node.

Wakandan State Media was announcing an takeover bid for Fox News to the glee of a certain President.

In Tokyo a Shinto shrine was being raised to Godzilla who had just saved Tokyo AGAIN and was being offered the entire days contents of Tsukuji fish market as the first offering.

Ron and Jack were leading a convoy of British heroes to Stonehenge to help at the Node battle.

In Canberra Australia a talking Koala in clothes and a creature that looked at a pudding with legs wearing an old style ceramic kitchen bowl  were trying to explain to a Prime Minister and his Treasurer the economy was not a Magic Pudding.

Elsewhere a small hound was being whirled through time and space in search on herself !

And that ominously bubbling pit where we left Goldie?

Someone has just crawled out of it and she's in a really BAD mood!

You thought Godzilla's roar in the latest movie version was impressive.

This isn't a podcast! You'll just have to imagine how it sounds!


Yipe definitely a bad mood!