Friday 29 March 2013

Easter Break 2013 so some pics

Temporal pests is taking an Easter Break so here's some older sketches of Goldie to look at until next week

copyright julie vaux 2013 

copyright julie vaux 2013 

copyright julie vaux 2013 

Sunday 24 March 2013

A Cell Full of Captains


A CELL FULL OF CAPTAINS

Deep down in the dungeons the captive command staff were getting restless. Their various escape techniques were not working. Low tech attempts to pick the locks resulted in multiple electric shocks first from the lock and then the guards who also threatened to get a barber in to shave off someone's dreads. The guards were eunuchs so attempts to charm or seduce the guards were not working to the peculiar dismay of one captain who usually found that method very reliable.  The most senior captain and one of his former officers who was now a captain were trying to boost the signal on their  communicators but that wasnt working either. A few captains had tried ramming the cell walls with benches and a couple of desperate souls were trying to scrape through the tiled floor with spoons.

The charming captain who loved WW2 greatcoats was playing half heartedly with his phone when suddenly to his surprise it started working. He dialled a friend in Wales.

"Hello you have reached Gwen. Sorry I am not  available. Some one sent me a gift voucher for Harrods so I'm off to London on the express train!"


Other people's phones started working with equally frustrating results.

"Hello you have reached the Doctor. My message box is full. Please try again."

"Hello you tried to reach the Captains private quarters. Don't even think of trying to over ride the diversion of this message to voice mail. I just got our son off to sleep and now its my time finally to open a bottle of French wine and share it with my favorite red head ... !"

"Hello you have reached ...."

"Wait a moment that was three unsuccessful attempts! The Rule of Three! Does that work here?"

"Yeah where's our dramatic intervention!"

A mysterious figure suddenly materialized waved her fingers and the guards fell asleep.

"Q!" cried a female captain.

To be continued.



Sunday 17 March 2013

a Recap of the Story so far


A recap of our story so far

in case someone's lost in the plot.

Sassy and Goldie due to an over indulgent creator know they were originally fictional creatures.

They escaped from fan fiction (Google Between the Frames) and have lead short but happy lives terrorizing

... er ... rampaging ... er playing across the multiverse getting banned from certian universes and

dreamings yet saving others.

Sassy is  a Teckelstein a race of sentient dachshunds ... yes they talk ... and talk ... continuing our

recap a princess of the royal family of Teckelstein.

Teckelstein is one of those pocket universes with no fixed address that travels wherver its residents

direct it with a little or a lot of help from the fusion warp hyper and improbablity drives attached to

its central mass an asteroid or planetoid part of which was once an alpine valley somewhere in Southern

Germany and other parts ... well that would be several books.

Teckelstein is one of the places in the multiverse where discarded ficitonal characters can take refuge

from the crueltires inflicted upon them by their creators and also a popular vacation and shopping spot

between stories for many others.

It's leader is Queen Beatrice the Blessed and First Minsiter for everything A. F. Von Teckelstein.

So far Goldie she is a Goullawk who may or may not be related to a certain race in the SGverse.

She is now a dragonoid or a small dragon queen and looks like some one crossed a small sea dragon or

monster with a seal. She has front flippers no rear flippers a medium length tail with powerful flukes and

a torso whose color varies from purple to gold that tapers up to a long neck crowned with a dragonish head

with feathers and large fin shaped ears two purple eyes and a slightly bizarre muzzle that ends in a set

of finger claws.

The forces of evil in several universes particularly  have grown tired of the continual reality resets and

cosmic crisises and have over run one of the Nodes areas of the multiplaces where Cintamani are placed.

Cintamani are wishing and they are usually used to correct and maintain balance between order and chaos

but our numero uno villian has crafted a wish designed to protect one relative and prevent other heroes

and villians or tricksters from stopping him.

Unfortunately as part of that wish Teckelstein became trapped in limbo leaving Sassy and Goldie trapped

with out backup save for a very few friends and allies like ...


Fluvia Canta the siginificant other of a certain person whose hobby is collecting companions.

JonaHexed a minor character

Mr Black and Silver one of Goldie's boyfriends.

A Deeply Scary Civil Servant from London

HerInside a cyborg lady Her Husband Reg a London taxi driver and not really a DAL#$ really not!

This is fan fiction but I have to pay some minimal respect to copyright?

so read more TEMPORAL PESTS !

Wednesday 13 March 2013


Evil partying

( in which we find out what the villians have been doing and the perverse childishness of a certain big bang of a physicist aids the good guys)

Back at the Node Evil was partying. It was that or fight while they were waiting for the Cintamani to be usable again. The mastermind Mr. L was announcing events.

"Listen up people we have a great variety of exciting and fun events to entertain you while we wait.

THE BALROG Yes THE BALROG will be starting a demo in five minutes on fire whip wielding!
Sauron will be speaking on how to be corporate when you're discorporate.
Plus we have an open bar and sushi and a raffle. First prize an extra chance for a wish. Second prize a higher number in the queue.  Third prize ... well which Captain and we have a great selection in our cells do you want to have a special moment with? Also a great talk by Emperor Palpatine on Coping when Evil is your Destiny! For the ladies and some of the guys a demo on poisons and perfumes.

A Little later there will be cosplay ..."

"Did some one say cosplay?" cried a tall person from Texas wearing a black cape who has been compared to a praying mantis, " Is there a Sith Lord section?"

A few genuine Sith Lords hissed or glared at him as he had been trying to get them to play with him for several hours.

"oh you there you are Doctor! Will some one please escort him back to the lab. We need him to watch the monitors for quantum fluctations while we party," ordered Mr. L.

"But I want to cosplay!" sulked the potential Nobel prize if he continued to avoid that lab accident winner as they dragged him off.

Just after as they locked him in the lab and closed the door an alarm went off in the lab and some captive AI squealed.

"Alert Quantum fluctations indicate return of Teckelstein. Warning! Warning! Warning!"

"No..." sulked the Texan physicist, "they wouldn't let me cosplay. I don't know what Teckelstein is and I'm not even going to look. They were mean to me and they promised this would be fun!"

So evil partied on unaware of the threat of Teckelstein approaching.

To be continued at the usual erratic rate.

Wednesday 6 March 2013

A Really Long List


A Really Long List and Slighter longer than usual Chapter Too

Sassy and Goldie were surrounded by the Lost girls and Goldie whispered to her.

"question we had to look for a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara and look for girls listed on the back of your future self note right?  so how many girls do we need? ?"

"Let me look at that list again .." whispered Sassy back.

Sassy looked up at Fluvia who had the list tucked into her belt.

"Fluvia we need to double check the list.

Sassy frowned as she squinted at it. Dachshund eyes weren't the best at reading print.

"Yes it definitely says a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara."

"SO it could also been any of the lost girls here?" pointed out Fluvia.

"So we just take as many of them as want to come with us?" pondered Sassy.

"if we can get them to stop playing with Goldie." stated Fluvia studying the Goullawk who in the few seconds they'd stopped looking at her to read the list had flumped over to a water slide and was shrieking gleefully as she was pushed down it by a gang of small girls.

Fluvia took another look at the list and asked Sassy,

"Whoever wrote on the back of this wasn't me and managed to crowd a really long list onto the back of this note. Are we going to be able to find and recruit all these people over the next day and get back to the Node?"

"Who's still on the list? Let's see ... mmm why does Number Five say Watch out for people who look like two middle aged hikers with English accents and a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara. Together?"

"Oh that!" said Fluvia,"that's not my handwriting either but it looks like someone was just trying to fit everything on one side of the page. Look the and is & an ampersand to save space  or is it a blurred six?"

"Er Fluvia if you didn't write this for me who did?" asked Sassy.

"That hand writing looks vaguely familiar ..." murmured fluvia.

"mmm can I interrupt?" asked Lena, "I was almost going to be called Tara as a middle name in one of my previous appearances."

"oh ooo, you poor child!" exclaimed fluvia, "that means you're a pivotal plot device or destiny point some time in the future."

"Probably confronting my brother slash father slash nearest male relative..." whispered Lena sadly, "I've been good and ashamed and sad and I've been bad and treacherous yet obedient and mad and now I'm a Lost girl but I wish I was a real girl! I want to go shopping and eat ice cream that does not taste like clouds or candy and share a packet of fish and chips walking along a beach and ... and ... have a boyfriend!" she sobbed. Several of the other Lost Girls nearby begun to cry too.

Donna glared at them.

"All right I'll see if I cam remember my armor into existence!

But when this is over I'm back here. I had a life and lost it over and over again pulled in an dout of various realities and then discarded tossed aside like a broken puppet."

Back in one of those realities intresting events were taking place on a certain farm in the Mid West as some one's current girl friend had brought her mother along for afternoon tea and coffee but someone's on and off spuse lover and girl friend was there too. Some one was out in the barn feeding the horses carrots cringing as the females in his extended family held a meeting. He thought he had heard the word with his super hearing polyamory being used inside the house.

Elsewhere the chaos grew worse as various dreamings alternate realities and parallel universes continued to merge together. Nantucket island had a rainbow dome forming over it echoing a fictional event.

 A megalomanic wearing Norman armor was leading a charge of knights through the streets of Portland.

 A large floating rock with a city on top of it was manifesting over the corn fields of Oklahoma.

Lord Greystoke had announced he was running in the Kenyan elections.

Australia's forests and rivers now really did have dropbears and bunyips to the dismay of tourists and locals harassed by  yowies who were begging for junk food and sweets.

A certain local actor nearly had a heart attack when his most famous character appeared and approached him in his favorite lunch spot loudly shrieking "Hello Possum!"

All this converging stress though was causing dormant volcanoes to show signs of erupting and causing out of season snow storms tornadoes hurricanes flooding and wild fires. This of course was keeping all the fictional heroes who had suddenly become real so busy helping or avoiding police fans and journalists that they had no time to arrange the usual problem solving grand on masse  meeting.


Evil also had a long list of people. People to do things to.

In an palazzo converted to holiday apartments in Venice a couple was breakfasting on a garden terrace. Slinky and Batsy has spent the last two days with the radio and tv turned off and unplugged and their phones and other tech toys locked in a safe. The only phone in the room was for room service. Newspaper deliveries had been cancelled. They were currently sharing a croissant and other breakfast pastries and were dressed for working on their tans and each other.

This happy state of affairs of course could not last along and just as they finished breakfast and started other activities the downdraft from a descending helicopter interrupted them. A woman slide down a rope from it onto the terrace. Batsy shuddered. It was the mother of his brat.

"Ta tah ah mmm what are you doing here?" asked Batsy. Slinky narrowed here eyes and hissed at her.

The Ghoul's Daughter  merely smiled at them and stood there for a moment doing a sphinx impression.
Then she passed over a phone.

"Read your voice mail."

"Hello Master Batsy. We have a Red Sky Falling situation again and this time I was trapped in Teckelstein so I could not get in touch with you earlier. I can't get back to the Batcave."

"By the way," added The ghoul's Daughter," I also told the paparazzi you were in this hotel."

For a brief few seconds Batsy and Slinky looked like they wanted to cry or scream or smash something then they glared at and stomped back into the apartment to pack.

Vacation time was definitely over.


 
















A Really Long List and Slighter longer than usual Chapter Too

Sassy and Goldie were surrounded by the Lost girls and Goldie whispered to her.

"question we had to look for a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara and look for girls listed on the back of your future self note right?  so how many girls do we need? ?"

"Let me look at that list again .." whispered Sassy back.

Sassy looked up at Fluvia who had the list tucked into her belt.

"Fluvia we need to double check the list.

Sassy frowned as she squinted at it. Dachshund eyes weren't the best at reading print.

"Yes it definitely says a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara."

"SO it could also been any of the lost girls here?" pointed out Fluvia.

"So we just take as many of them as want to come with us?" pondered Sassy.

"if we can get them to stop playing with Goldie." stated Fluvia studying the Goullawk who in the few seconds they'd stopped looking at her to read the list had flumped over to a water slide and was shrieking gleefully as she was pushed down it by a gang of small girls.

Fluvia took another look at the list and asked Sassy,

"Whoever wrote on the back of this wasn't me and managed to crowd a really long list onto the back of this note. Are we going to be able to find and recruit all these people over the next day and get back to the Node?"

"Who's still on the list? Let's see ... mmm why does Number Five say Watch out for people who look like two middle aged hikers with English accents and a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara. Together?"

"Oh that!" said Fluvia,"that's not my handwriting either but it looks like someone was just trying to fit everything on one side of the page. Look the and is & an ampersand to save space  or is it a blurred six?"

"Er Fluvia if you didn't write this for me who did?" asked Sassy.

"That hand writing looks vaguely familiar ..." murmured fluvia.

"mmm can I interrupt?" asked Lena, "I was almost going to be called Tara as a middle name in one of my previous appearances."

"oh ooo, you poor child!" exclaimed fluvia, "that means you're a pivotal plot device or destiny point some time in the future."

"Probably confronting my brother slash father slash nearest male relative..." whispered Lena sadly, "I've been good and ashamed and sad and I've been bad and treacherous yet obedient and mad and now I'm a Lost girl but I wish I was a real girl! I want to go shopping and eat ice cream that does not taste like clouds or candy and share a packet of fish and chips walking along a beach and ... and ... have a boyfriend!" she sobbed. Several of the other Lost Girls nearby begun to cry too.

Donna glared at them.

"All right I'll see if I cam remember my armor into existence!

But when this is over I'm back here. I had a life and lost it over and over again pulled in an dout of various realities and then discarded tossed aside like a broken puppet."

Back in one of those realities intresting events were taking place on a certain farm in the Mid West as some one's current girl friend had brought her mother along for afternoon tea and coffee but someone's on and off spuse lover and girl friend was there too. Some one was out in the barn feeding the horses carrots cringing as the females in his extended family held a meeting. He thought he had heard the word with his super hearing polyamory being used inside the house.

Elsewhere the chaos grew worse as various dreamings alternate realities and parallel universes continued to merge together. Nantucket island had a rainbow dome forming over it echoing a fictional event.

 A megalomanic wearing Norman armor was leading a charge of knights through the streets of Portland.

 A large floating rock with a city on top of it was manifesting over the corn fields of Oklahoma.

Lord Greystoke had announced he was running in the Kenyan elections.

Australia's forests and rivers now really did have dropbears and bunyips to the dismay of tourists and locals harassed by  yowies who were begging for junk food and sweets.

A certain local actor nearly had a heart attack when his most famous character appeared and approached him in his favorite lunch spot loudly shrieking "Hello Possum!"

All this converging stress though was causing dormant volcanoes to show signs of erupting and causing out of season snow storms tornadoes hurricanes flooding and wild fires. This of course was keeping all the fictional heroes who had suddenly become real so busy helping or avoiding police fans and journalists that they had no time to arrange the usual problem solving grand on masse  meeting.


Evil also had a long list of people. People to do things to.

In an palazzo converted to holiday apartments in Venice a couple was breakfasting on a garden terrace. Slinky and Batsy has spent the last two days with the radio and tv turned off and unplugged and their phones and other tech toys locked in a safe. The only phone in the room was for room service. Newspaper deliveries had been cancelled. They were currently sharing a croissant and other breakfast pastries and were dressed for working on their tans and each other.

This happy state of affairs of course could not last along and just as they finished breakfast and started other activities the downdraft from a descending helicopter interrupted them. A woman slide down a rope from it onto the terrace. Batsy shuddered. It was the mother of his brat.

"Ta tah ah mmm what are you doing here?" asked Batsy. Slinky narrowed here eyes and hissed at her.

The Ghoul's Daughter  merely smiled at them and stood there for a moment doing a sphinx impression.
Then she passed over a phone.

"Read your voice mail."

"Hello Master Batsy. We have a Red Sky Falling situation again and this time I was trapped in Teckelstein so I could not get in touch with you earlier. I can't get back to the Batcave."

"By the way," added The ghoul's Daughter," I also told the paparazzi you were in this hotel."

For a brief few seconds Batsy and Slinky looked like they wanted to cry or scream or smash something then they glared at and stomped back into the apartment to pack.

Vacation time was definitely over.


 

















Sunday 3 March 2013

A repeat of Yes its a Trap Goldie



Yes It's A Trap Goldie!


Back in a certain city haunted by demons monsters wannabe actors and writers a peculiar being even by that city's standards was preparing for a painful change. She didn't believe in suffering to look fabulous but even Goldie accepted there was no way she could get to and into the open casting session advertised in the newspaper  for "Unusual People with Unusual Talents" as a Goullawk   nor would changing size work either. The sudden appearance of a 50 foot tall Dragonoid  tended to startle people as much as her usual appearance. She would have to use that spell one of her boyfriends Mr. BlackandSilver (Scribal hint: Translate it into Sindarin) taught her and change form as well. Walking on two legs wearing shoes was not pleasant but she'd had enough practise to do it with grace and style and a slight but sexy wobble.

A half an hour later inside the hotel several people were complaining about the strange noises that came from a certain room as persons of the hench folk variety watched a woman with purple hair and makeup and a short dress of metallic golden scales exited the hotel.

"Wow it worked! We got her out of the hotel and on her own!
The bosses will be so happy!

Back at the Node their bosses were indeed chortling their way through a cultural tradition laughing evilly between paragraphs sentences and phrases as they gloated about their plans in front of their prisoners, members of various Time Agencies, Patrols, Departments, and other organisations.

"This time Brethren sisters and other genders we win!

Our dark alliance has gained control and access over a primary node!

The gates between realities fictional mythic parallel and alternate are ALL opening!

We can reprogram and alter multiple universes split off timelines or loop them back and gain our heart's desires so every one gets what they deserve!"

"Especially some of our writers!"

In one containment area prisoners were following the cultural tradition of whispering or using sign language or really obscure languages like Bundalung or Fur to communicate.

(Scribal notes Yes these are actual human languages!)

"Some one must have a sonic screwdriver or a multi tool or something shirley?"

"I have my ..."

Several people groaned at a Captain called Jack who was trying to catch the eye of a guard by smiling flirtatiously.

Elsewhere a certain Goullawk had begun to notice the local reality seemed to be rather plagued with cliches, particularly near her.  Pianos were rolling off trucks along with bananas, an unusually large number of pigeons were doing comedic deposits of droppings, and an ominous storm had appeared suddenly, and she'd only had to walk one block before she found an empty taxi to the studio, where the queue had suddenly shortened when a raid was made for former Australian soap actors who'd overstayed their visa.

The hench persons were watching her keenly.

They had carefully prepared the ultimate temptation.

An open door off the hallway to auditions showing a rehearsal room with a full orchestra and a percussion set  ... shiny bling  no Goullawk with musical delusions could resist. Goldie had musical ambitions. Unfortunately she also had a singing voice that to humans was disconcerting.

Then there was that thing that happened when she was around instruments unattended. She inevitably ended up literally entangled with whatever she tried to play. The Triangle. A Cello. A drum kit. And the unfortunate incident with the flute.

Goldie forced herself to stay in the line for registration and then was undone by a single statement.

"Feel free to wander around and look at everything or use the ladies while you're waiting for your name to be called Ms. Dragonides!"

That should had been a clue but the instinct to be dramatic coupled with curiosity overwhelmed reason and logic and Goldie nonchalantly circled backwards admiring photos on the wall towards that door. It was after all near the entry to the ladies room and another ... well just a little look thru the door at all that shiny musical bling ... just a look ...

Back at the hotel Sassy and Johahexed had returned from their shopping and seen the open paper with the ad circled lying on the bed.

"oh she wouldn't have ... she couldn't ... she promised1" moaned Sassy.

"Did we remember to include a time clause in her promise to stay in the hotel ... did we?" asked Jonahexed rhetorically as Sassy jumped off the door and charged out the door.

Goldie was in the doorway of the rehearsal door and walked slowly but in a very straight line towards the percussion section and all those shiny lovely music making tools. She sat down and picked up a drumstick. Hands with fingers did have certain advantages over fingerclaws and flippers with velcro like sections. She began to play slowly and delicately at first a section from Tubular Bells and then shifted tempos to some thing operatic and louder and faster. Her temporary hands flew over the instruments from xylophone to bells to triangles and drums and back again becoming a blur of motion and sound and her shape wavered.

She surrendered to the rhythm started a crescendo and the spell binding her to human form failed and then there was a loud crash as she fell off the seat and various instruments landed on top of her.

The hench persons entered the room with nets and a large Goullawk sized box chortling triumphantly and begun to perform the delicate procedure of unentangling a Goullawk while at the same time restraining and binding fingerclaws flippers and flukes.

Just as they finished turning Goldie into something that looked like a very bizarre decorative prop for a SMBD club a motorcycle with a dachshund in a side car came racing into the room.

"Release that Goullawk!" cried Sassy and JonaHexed in twofold harmony.

"and you're going to stop us how ?" snickered a henchman.

Jonahexed opened his coat to reveal interesting objects.

"Let's start with a semi sentient Shuriken I borrowed from a SF novel series!" he stated throwing that with one hand as the other raised a Original guess what Series Phaser set on Stun.

A very short time later they had Goldie half untied and balanced precariously in the side car as JonaHexed with Sassy posed on his lap raced through the studio grounds seeking an unguarded entrance. But Every single entry point was blocked with groups of hench persons smirking besides or behind barricades.

Jonahexed stopped the bike and drew his weapons as armored hench persons stalked closer and closer encircling them.

Sassy decided to try one last thing and screamed to the empty air.

"TAXI!"

JonaHexed joined her both of them calling out "Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!" both hoping their favorite Taxi driver wasn't busy elsewhere.

Lady Fortune was in a good mood and a black old fashioned London cab materialized next to them.

The door opened and a voice with a cheerful but odd cockney accent as spoken by someone using a voice synthesizer that sounded similar to those used by the BBC invited them on board!

"Wotcha ya waiting for?! All'Board Reg's Deluxe Taxi! Now!"

The next post in the series is London Calling .

I'll have a really long chapter posted later this week!