Saturday, 23 June 2012
Toil and Trouble and Time Machines.
Sassy and Goldie were trotting across through a section of the Node called the Gallifrey Memorial Garden when Sassy's future self appeared again.
"You're going the wrong way!" she snarled.
Sassy instinctively if impolitely barked back and Goldie coiled backwards and hissed.
The future self whined in exasperation sat down and used one back paw to pull out a note tucked in her collar.
"I got someone to write me a note. Here's a checklist of things I've done since I know how short some people's attention spans are!"
"Yes Sassy when chocolate's nearby your ..." interrupted Goldie.
"I was being VERY polite when I used an indefinite pronoun instead the word two!" grumbled future self Sassy, pointing her muzzle at a certain Goullawk.
"Number One obtain strap on time travel device."
"But we have Lady Zen Shipper! ... has something happened to her?" asked Sassy.
"Number Two contact ALL the people listed on the back of this note.
Number Three release prisoners! by the way they have Jonahexed!
One wish is all it takes but apparently I willnt be the one making it according to the person who told me that
Number Five Watch out for people who look like two middle aged hikers with English accents and a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara."
The paper with the list fell to the ground as Future Self Sassy either disappeared or imploded with a loud POP.
Sassy and Goldie sat there puzzled until Reg came out of sleath mode and descended to land next to them.
Reg came out of his taxi saw the list and started to read it and turned over and read the list on the other side.
"Well you two have work to do don't you?
There's an awful lot of dragons on this list Goldie?"
"WHY do I have to do the dragons!?" complained the the Goullawk swashing her tail and imperiously rising her head and spreading her crest.
Reg retorted with a list.
"Dragonoid being with scales. Who speaks several darkish lingos.
Domineering personality. Dates other dragons. Dates outside her species.
Has one reluctant boyfriend who's a dragon mage.
Goes shopping with someone even more obsessed with bling with her for gold plated prosthetics for poor whassa his Gra ... "
"Gold is good!" hissed the Goullawk, " . . . so I helped Iski pick up out a commissioned piece of art work over in Ankh and Morpor ..."
"I thought you were banned from most of the dwarvish jewellers there?" asked Reg in a tone of almost malevolent innocence.
"I really don't need a trip to Longshan at the moment," hissed Goldie.
"It's Luau night there! You always try to get barbecue nights unless ... oh you haven't been banned again have you? OH Goldie what was it this time?" cried Sassy.
"er mmm er uh well I might have to apologize for both of us to a few people for pamphleteeering again on P.#.$.N." stated Goldie trying too obviously to be cool and nonchalant.
"OOOOH" sniggered Reg," You two been handing out copies of Workers of P.#.$.N UNITE AGAIN!"
Scribal note For some curious reason this song has NOT been widely distributed throughout Fandom.
"Tunnel Hounds of P.#.$.N Unite
to regain your hearth Rights.
Who keeps the watch wherriess warm at Night
under the cold dread starlight?
who turns the spit for your steaks
who chases off tunnelsnakes ?
Who gets all the darn glory
who hogs most of the story?
who does the work down in the gloom
while dragonkin thru the skies zoom
workers of P.#.$. N. Unite
Regain your ancient right
tunnel hounds no longer ignore
or we'll gnash and smash and gnaw!
oops theres the sound oh so distinct
wonder why lizardies nearly went extinct?
Tunnel Hounds of P.#. $. N. Unite
Regain your ancient Hearth rights!"
"But its for the good of Teckelstein!" barked Sassy
"Er I forget to trim off Proudly Printed by Teckelsteins' Radicals and Rebels Workshop off the bottom" answered Goldie.
The dachshund groaned and slumped to the ground.
"Well ladies I need to get home for supper. You two better come with. Perhaps some of my friends and neighbours might have ideas?"