Sassy Portrait

Sassy Portrait by Donna Barr Copyright Julie Vaux.

Please mention BOTH Me and Donna when you share this image!

Goullawk Gallery

The Goullawk Queen has asked her humble scribe to beseech visitors to consider becoming regular readers to Temporal Pests as she reads the stats over my shoulder and she's well she is a DRAGONoid sooo

Here's three interpretations of how Her Majesty appears two by me one by another artist.

NOT Naked Feline Guy

Unfortunately NOTnaked Feline Guy sleathily moved through the garden and into the kitchen. The ladies and one small boy present were greeting two new arrivals.

Sassy and Goldie had arrived.

"SO my future self warned us to pick passengers from Edinburgh and Botswana and travel here. We left Lady Zenshipper parked on the commons disguised as a storage shed for gardening equipment and oh look at that clock! Isabel your ethical dilemna should be arriving any second now!

Feline Guy unfortunately NOTnaked leapt out of the kitchen into the living room brandishing a knive in one hand and grabbing Sassy by her collar with the other.

"Nothing personal Ladies but I have a contract to keep!"

Goldie shriekd and lifted her tail ready to slap him with her what she referred to as her "very powerful and sexy flukes and why I can't get people volunteering to portray them I just don't know!"

"Young man who are you contracted to? Perhaps we can outbid them?"

Notnaked Feline Guy moved the knife closer to Sassy's throat.

"I can't tell you what the contract price was. That's part of the contract!"

"Who did they threaten TB?" Your cats? " asked Sassy trying to wiggle loose.

Tomkat prepared to plunge the knife into Sassy's chest but dropped it as an saxophone swung up and hit him from behind and below!

Bertie smiled. He was really enjoying his big adventure!

The ladies piled onto Tomkat and restrained him with curtains a crocheted couch cover and duct tape but graciously and offering him a cup of tea afterwards!

Worst of all they gave him a group hug.

Then Isabel addressed him.

"Now young man I'm a trained philosopher in ethics and I also know logic so logically even if your contract bans you from telling us how to outbid whoever is employing you you could use sign language."

Tomkat smiled grimly and tipped his head towards Bertie.

"A child?"

Tomkat shook his head and mouthed the words "THREAT TO".

Fortunately one of those present could lipread.

"Threat to a child?" asked Isabel

"Oh Tomkat not tomkit! They found tomkit!" cried Sassy.

"Well that explains the note help an ethical dilemna find a kitten!" she exclaimed.

Tomkat just slumped back and the couch and cried softly and silently.

Next time what ever happened to Lori?

 You get two episodes this week as a xmas present!

A Happy Advent

A Happy Advent

Two new arrivals to Respite Street from Edinburgh.

Suddenly the sound of a saxophone swept down the street. It was being played by a small boy who was being chaperoned by an attractive middle aged woman.

The cyborgs turned to face them.

"Identification!"

"Residents of Edinburgh.
Participants in popular best selling novel series.
Alert Incoming!"

 A traditionally built African lady from yet another best selling series appeared along with her friend and her husband and his apprentices ALL HOLDING screwdrivers cutting torches and determined expressions.

"Alert Alert Alert
Botswana's finest mechanic and private detectives!
Implement Strategy 36!
Retreat! Withdraw! Emergency! Run! Stomp! March! Levitate! FLee!"

Afternoon tea resumed amongst the women while the men folk put up some barricades using furnishings donated by Grace's husband just in case Reg and Her Inside's relatives and clones returned.

Unfortunately another threat was watching them from the back yard.

Next time we make Notnaked Feline Guy "Tomkat" and no connection to Tom Cruise CRY!

Xmas 2012 CArds Questions and Requests

Here's a Xmas E-card for my readers while I finish the next chapter!

By the way did you know you can get updates on when the next episode gets uploaded by following me on twitter @scholara

Yes you may share it !

Christmas Wish suggestion howsabout some of my visitors become followers?

Seriously my blog stats say most of my visitors are from the USA or Russia.

Who are you!? I'ld like to know?

And will someone please use the paypal tipjar and ignore the stupid sexy asian girls ad if its still showing after I change the tags?

The Battle of Respite Street

#fanfic reedited 2014  #drwho #london #urbanfantasy

The Battle of Respite Street
and how Reg met Her Inside!

In a certain Street in East London people were having afternoon tea along with their underlings and significant others.

The civil sorcerer was there and his apprentice and his wife carrying a voilin case.

Her Inside was serving tea in cups to them and iced tea in a glass with a straw to her husband Reg when the doorbell rung. The apprentice picked up his iphone and activated the scanner.

"No signs of entity activity!"

Her Inside moved towards the door.

"Wait a minute!" cried the apprentice, "no sign of human activity either!
Who or what is knocking on the door?"

That question was ansnwered by the door being smashed in. Well half the door the bottom was kicked in and the top disintegrated.

Out on the front path and street was a small squadron of cyborgs, consisting of  two types of very British cyborgs, the ones with silver skins and the ones that have been compared to condiment servers.

"Oh dear," shuddered Her Inside, "our relatives and inlaws have formed an alliance."

Other doors and windows were being smashed and destroyed along the street.

The Two largest cyborgs made an announcment.

"All residents will gather for processing. Illegal migrants will be returned to their correct continuum. Others will serve and obey. OBEY!"

(Note of rnewer readers this is a rebump from a series
Most of Respite Street's resident have escaped or are visiting from their universes to hide or vacation in ours!)

"Da@#k Reg You are not authorized to reside here! Report for punishment!"

"Cyborg Her! Remove those clothes and report for processing and repairs."

"NO" shouted Reg and Her together.

"We will not go back to being things and toys! "

"Obey or be destroyed now!"

"NO!"

Young Robert's wife opened her violin case.

"Ah yes their audio receptors are a weak point!" observed Dr. A,

"Everyone human move to the back of the house.

I'm sorry Her and Reg this may hurt you too if it works!"

Agent M begun to play and time slowed down.

The cyborgs stopped and then advanced again but slowly and raising weapon arms.

M changed the pace of her music.

The cyborgs begun to shake and shudder.

 Nearby cats and dogs and other animals shrieked.

A giant spider in a workshop under Hampstead Heath dropped a needle and moaned.

(Read #BenedictJacka !)

Her Inside struggled to embrace her husband one last minute annd asked him,

"Remember how we met?"

"Yes refugees in the therapist's offices at Teckelstein, "answered Reg, "You were a vision in silver amongst all those softbodies and you turned and asked me Your First Time here too and you reached out and touched me with such delicacy.
You touched and I felt you smile inside and my soul grow stronger.

"I love you!" they shouted in unison as the music reached a crescendo and the other cyborgs still advanced.

The cyborgs were screaming at them.

"Illogical Dysfunctional Not a real Da#$K Irrelevant Emotional !
You will not be processed! You will be destroyed!"

The violinist tried a different tune, that of a famous hymn.

Those who could sing joined the music with the words of Amazing Grace.

The cyborgs shuddered and stalled again and shrieked,

" Analysis Psionic weaponry Possibilites  Empathy Resonator Device Sonic Disruptor Psychic Ampilifier Strategy Destroy the violin!"

Then a small boy appeared with a musical instrument.

To be continued !

Afternoon Tea

Afternoon Tea with Bamfs and PR

Sassy barked an important announcement.

"Okay everyone according to my notes we have a BIG fight scene coming up so we're going to break for afternoon tea or coffee or whatever you drink, non-alcoholic, please!"

And now we're ignoring the Fourth Wall! Again!

Now for a direct appeal from our characters!


Ladies and Gentle Beings our scribe has gotten somewhat distracted by her annnual frenzy of almost useless prexmas PR for card and gift design.

We keep telling her she should just focus on us but then she despairing looks at the Google stats and glares at us and then despairing looks at the lack of sales or PayPal donations and then logs off the computer and does some boring and mundane chore like pay a bill or cook or wash clothes sooo please remember to tell your friends and family to visit temporal pests or one of our scribes other sites like

 www.cafepress.com/voxyvisions or www.redbubble.com/people/scholara

oh yes we nearly forget the scribe is glaring at us by the way

our scribe works casually so she gets NO vacation pay and the local college just ended its term so no work for six weeks so please think about visiting those sites and helping her with some PR okay

Now back to Afternooon Tea.

One of the reasons people were willing to work for and with Sassy and Goldie was that Lady Zen Shipper had some amazing recipes in her replicator and some wonderful goodies in storage.

Real Italian Gelato served in Ming dynasty porcelain bowls.

Japanese tea sweets. A choice of ice or hot tea green or "black".

Freshly baked scones with REAL cream and jam.

Tiny but delicious little dumplings and pastries and small but intensely flavorsome chocolates.

And real picnic rugs scattered with cushions and parasols for thos ewho needed them.

Fluvia and girls from Pasadena were pouring tea for the others and even the B$%fs
were behaving after an initial attempt to swarm and grab all the cake at all had been stopped by Fluvia heroicly cooing "Who needs a group hug?"

She had briefly disappeared into a swarm of B$%fs until the other ladies girls and women present grabbed a few B$%fs each and helped her with the group hug.

Now sated with affection and cakes the B%^Fs were being also adorable and were walking around the picnicers offering plates and platters of food.

"How many things are left on this list?" asked Fluvia.

"We're about half way through it both time and item wise!" replied Sassy.

Next time what's happening elsewhere.