Wednesday, 29 August 2012

Back in the Homeland

Back in the Homeland

Back on sassy's homeland of Teckelstein which A.F. First Minister for just about everything liked to refer to as the Uberheimat (Yes that was a philology joke) and others as that confounded floating giant dog kennel a meeting was being held of desperate beings huddled around a fireplace.

A.F. was convening it and a list of what still worked and what didnt was being revised.

"Confluence Drive?"

"Flickering in and out of an interphasic state."

"Planoforming Engines?"

"Barely maintaining the atmospheric shield."

"Battery power?"

"All Batteries running at 30% and falling."

"Antimatter reactor?"

"We have one of those?"

"Lieber Gott Someone go down to cavern 366 and try a Cold restart!"

"Wormhole generators boomtubes and jumpgates?"

"They open and but don't lead anywhere but the Wood between the Worlds."


"None of them were in dock when we got cut off but there's one in maintenance disassembled and lacking a power source or crystals."

"Well gentlebeings there is one option left but it requires sacrifice ..."

"Not the Stone of Darkened Destiny?"

"I barely have a soul! I'm not sacrificing it!"

"You're not innocent enough!" retorted another.

"Gentlebeings! gentlebeings! Order Please!"

"No not the Stone of Darkened Destiny! That's safely locked up until we can jettison it into a blackhole or an epic story line that's so sadistic to its characters that it's the only possible plot resolution!"

(Scribal Note mmm well  I can think of several "Interminable Epics")

"Does anyone know where we can find a Cinatmani?" asked another.

"No gentle beings let's try the power of prayer!"

"Whch deity do we petition?"

"All of them?"

Someone got down on their knees and started praying
"Oh mighty all praiseworthy Demented Continuum Editors we beg thee ... "

"Oh sainted Kirby...." "Great bird of the Galaxy ..."


A.F. barked authoritatively.

"Gentlebeings we have not yet faded out of existence completely so we must have some readers left so let us pray together!

"oh mighty congeries of fannish readers and whosoever loveth dachshunds and complicated continaul pop culture cross genre references and whoseever has a sense of humor and can appreciate parody and satire and metatext and intertext cry out to all the powers and persons that have been are in being and will become moved by the power that by sweet Charity and Agape that moves the sun and stars shout out these words.


Shout it out threefold tenfold a hundred fold!



There was a silence so terrible and ominous that it literally darkened the skies or the batteries droppped further.

Then all the remaining electrical lights and chemical devices such as wax candles and oil lamps flickered at all and flared up just  a little.

"Battery power jumped to 34%!"

"Progress is Slow" sighed A.F.

Help fuel up Teckelstein!

Recite the magic words


and share this url with friends.

Next time back in the UK .