Read Temporal Pests One !

Be warned therein is much silliness!

Temporal Pests ONE Copyright Julie Vaux 2012 - 2014 and 2016

TIME OUT FOR A PAIR OF CHARACTERS OUTSIDE TIME


In Which We meet Two Rather Unusual Little People and Some of Their Many Friends and Enemies.


There are places within the Multiverse, which are both in and outside of what some call the eleven dimensions of space-time and others an infinite standing wave. In these “between” places you can move and exist beyond the normal limits of sentient perception. Some folk call them spatio-temporal nodes, other shadow knots, or shimmer points, or stranger names. If you are there, then you can be and go almost anywhere, and yet also any when, for they are the places where time-slips and trans-dimensional gates manifest in densely woven clusters, instead of as scattered anomalies.

This particular one would look to most humans, when moving towards it, like a flower of many petals with each petal being a slightly different color. The colors move through the entire spectrum of possible radiation. Imagine also that this blossom has no stem and its petals rotate around what looks like a circle made of many tangents joining, with lines formed by waves converging in and out of existence.

Some of those lines flow into the petals in a way that suggests those petals are an illusion caused by the convergence of tangents and merely areas of stillness within a pattern of waves. The lines or pistils quiver endlessly like a harp string vibrating in such a way you see one primary string and several others at the same time. Perhaps they are echoes of cosmic or quantum strings.

Look closer and you will see that the petals seem to be joined by silver wire. Come even closer and you will the silver wire is multi-stranded. Here and there structures are attached to each strand and there are objects moving around those structures. You may also see shapes that suggest doors and gates, or mirrors, round, square, sealed, and open. Through these structures a variety of beings move. Some of them are humanoid and wear coverings suggesting uniforms. Others are not remotely humanoid, occasionally biped, and probably sentient.

Two of the non humanoid beings, who were definitely not two-limbed but allegedly sentient, depending on who you asked, and what experiences they had previously with them, were being forcibly placed into an enclosure in one of these structures, being thrown within actually, to accompanying bellows of, “AND STAY IN THERE!” A force-field sealed the enclosure to the protesting yelps and argles of two peculiar beings.

The one who yelped was female and looked like a Standard Red Long haired dachshund of impeccable bloodlines and powerful elegance. She appeared to be the sort of dachshund that occupants of the darkest densest forests of central Europe, from the smallest hare up to massive wild boars, hide from, shivering, as they hear the pack sniffling after them. This variety of Terran canine, also hunts and stalks small dangerous (well to canid livers) items like chocolate Lamingtons and Anzac biscuits. They also do population control for edible pests, like rats, and their range of predation varies upwards in scale to much larger prey, like time lost dinosaurs, and those dragons of the kith and darkling kin, whose behaviour gave more honorable dragons a bad reputation, and possibly also bandersnatchi and even stranger beasts and brutes.

The other female looked like the result obtained, if someone, who really should not have been allowed near genetic engineering devices, had created a cross between a small dragonoid and a seal, with more than a dash of otter and goldfish, but no visible scales or fur. A large finned tail curved into a torso which had two front flippers and the whole body was covered with a skin that seemed to shimmer as if scaled but also had a soft satiny texture. This torso narrowed into a long slender neck topped by a head and muzzle that tapered and split into four digits at the end, giving this being a rather snaggly smile. She had “teeth” or fangs or claws at the end of each flexible "finger".

The designer or creator was apparently fixated on using pink, gold, and purple, and their creation also appeared to be wearing purple makeup outlining its mouth parts and eyes, and was currently wearing glitter covered sunglasses, that a certain Aussie dame would have adored. Or possibly someone had carefully applied make-up? Certainly several individuals had expressed a wish to find out where Goldie, a.k.a. Gilda Dragonides, bought her make-up although with the aim of having her banned from shopping from wherever that was.

Sassy the canid member of this duet, shook out her fur, and snapped and snarled.
“Honestly I so did NOT do graffiti on the Sphinx of “Sassy was here!” in gold glitter! Like practically every one else has but not moi! That poor bulge of rock has been hacked at and scribbled on by Aliens, Atlanteans, Egyptians, Greeks, and oh yes, was it Napoleon’s army who used it for target practise? BUT NOT ME! Honestly if the Sphinx really was an alien construct they should have made it a robot so it can get up and walk into the desert away from all those vandals!”

The small dragonoid by her side argled in agreement making Goullawk utterances that translated into English as, “Yes, they even blamed us for some stuff we haven’t done, as if we would do anything like that, when we were busy doing other things, like transporting Frodo and Gandalf into that producer’s office! Teehee! And then we took those Kaledian mutant cyborgs to …”

“Quiet!” hissed Sassy, “You want more reality violations added to the list! We’re just going to have to stay here and behave until Uncle Gus bails us out! He’ll understand why we couldn’t resist sooling that gene construct based on a giant mutant lizard onto the Capital of a certain evil galactic mega-corp. So a few people got probably mmm ….”

“Squashed?!” squealed Goldie gleefully, “but they were evil clone slavers!”

Sassy sighed and lay down carefully arranging herself in the infamous “I’m so elegant and innocent so how could you believe I would do that?” position of head resting on crossed forelegs and slightly raised brow ridges with relaxed ears. Goldie copied her with differing results as a Goullawk with drooping ear fins but raised eye ridges lying down looks more a pathetic abandoned bath toy.

Goullawks vary considerably in size, according to age, gender, and diet. Goldie’s size could perhaps best be described as lap dragon although other Goullawks have been mistaken for traditional Celtic monsters of sea loch and shore.

After a while Sassy, being naturally optimistic cheered up and whispered to Goldie.
“They still haven’t found out where we parked Lady Zen Shipper so we can still have more adventures once Uncle Gus gets us out of here!”

Goldie argled a question, “Why hasn’t Uncle Gus bailed us out yet?”

“Uncle Gus will come and get us!” replied Sassy, “I’m one of his favorite grand-nieces!”

Goldie hakkegled a question, “mmm he has about three hundred grand nieces?”

“But he only has one me!” replied Sassy proudly tilting her muzzle.

This display of self-esteem was interrupted by noises from outside.

Sounds of violence begun to boom, and the hiss of energy beams forcing subatomic particles to change orbits could be heard, and sonic blasters zinging against walls, along with the screams of injured or angry beings. Midst all this chaos, riot, and mayhem, a small dog came sashaying up the corridor towards them.

“Hey that’s me!” barked Sassy.

 “Blahargh???” responded Goldie, stretching her head towards the door and fanning out both ear fins in bewilderment. The small figure walked over to a console, stretched up and placed its forepaws on a button, and the force field holding them back disappeared.

Sassy started towards her doppelganger.

“Don’t get too close! There’ll be temporal flashback if you do!” cried out her mirror image.

“You are me!” cried Sassy, “How?”

“Look it’s going to take you about three days to figure out why we’re both here but its not a closed temporal loop yet, but it will be a crossover if we get this right! Hurry up and escape out of here and get help! Certain forces of evil and various villians are attempting to take over this node so they can rewrite their personal histories! Make sure you ask for help BEFORE you come back here. Tara told me so! The Buddhist one! And the help has to arrive three days from now or it can’t get here! Hurry!”

Sassy’s temporal doppelganger turned and raced away from them. Sassy and Goldie looked fretfully at each other.

 “Now would be a good time to go home?” burbled Goldie who proceeded to flipper walk away from Sassy.

Sassy sat there for a moment still stunned by seeing herself. What had her doppelganger meant? Get help? This wasn’t her problem. This was an opportunity to escape?

Goldie not hearing the swash of fur behind or next to her turned around and hakkergled,
 “Hello is this that temporal flashie thing that being who looked like you talked about?”

She waddled back and nudged Sassy with her snout, blattering her eyelids, (a movement like fluttering but faster almost a flickering) and blurbled, “Hello Galpal Goldie to Super Sassy! Time to go, Go! GO!”

Sassy shook herself. “Yes let’s go find an active portal or a quantum tunnel and reach Lady Zen Shipper!”

 They trotted down the corridor, two small figures unnoticed amidst a confusion and commocion (a lovely Spanish word overdue to be borrowed into English) of giant, medium, and small sized, killer robots, evil cyborgs of several kinds, wicked druids and fashionistas, and various hooded and caped figures, and many individuals of several genders wearing the sort of tailored clothing that says I’m rich, powerful and probably have a dubious grasp of basic ethics along with dodgy dress sense! Yes the forces of evil were partying! Some of them even wore outfits that were actually tastefully frightening!

Along the way Sassy and Goldie trotted past some of the individuals from the various Time Space Patrols and Temporal Bureaus and other such agencies, who had placed them in the holding area to await judgement. A small group of humans in a variety of uniforms and suits were kneeling behind a console firing rayguns, bazookas, energy rifles, flechette guns, and just plain bullets, at an advancing cacophonic chaos of caped figures, fiends, and their cronies, devices, lackeys and hench-folk.

Sassy cheerfully hollered as she trotted past. “Hi guys! We’re free again!”

Goldie added in Goullawk, having remembered what the other Sassy had asked them to do, “and going to get help!!!” and bobbed her head up and down in a manner that was meant to look reassuringly cute. It did if you were a younger Goullawk worried about being eaten by its elders, who seemed to be considering whether it was too stupid or dysfunctional to enjoy the continual privilege of life, but to a human it just looked weird and demented! And so not reassuring!
“Commander” asked one of the humans, “May I please shoot them too?”

“No!” stated the Commander, “they might help!”

“Help do what make things more complicated or worse!” responded the questioner, “Them? Help? They’re Teckelsteiners! You know what their idea of help is, making such a mess of things we have to go in and rearrange people’s memories or remove anomalies or or or …”

“Incoming!” screamed someone else as fireballs were launched at them and they all ducked for cover. When they looked up again Sassy and Goldie were out of sight. A team of hench-folk were approaching with large nets and lassos and other objects such as nunchakus and knuckledusters designed to deliver stunning force viciously. Barely visible to the rear were a group of older semi-retired villains sitting on a shielded antigravity platform comfortably sipping drinks and apparently marking scores on clipboards. Just as the heroes, good guys, and other relatively righteous folk, and let’s not forget honorable lady amazons, were about to run out of weapon power, and the lackeys and henchpersons closed in on them, the commander turned to his men and made a promise while manfully posing.

“Have no fear! Help is on the way! If not those dachshunds then shirley someone else will send help soon!”

“I think that’s surely sir!” replied someone as he pivoted to kick a servant of evil in what he hoped was a delicate region, and gasped, as he contacted with hidden solid metal, “but the odds are sheerly against us! However,” he croaked and gasped, mentally cursing the inventor of metal codpieces, “could tiny lil dogs poss’ly help! AAARGH!”

“Have no fear,” bellowed the commander heroically; being a graduate of that type of Shakespearian theatre training which often ends up being used in cult sci-fi shows, “Dachshunds don’t know the meaning of the word impossible. And they’re fearless and courageous!”

“They don’t know the meaning of fear so they’ll front up to any threat?” yelled someone who sensibly had thrown their empty gun away and was swinging a sledgehammer towards a pale-skinned cyborg’s head.

“No they’re dachshunds” cried the commander. “They’re fearless about most things except bath time and they really don’t know the meaning of the word impossible. They just don’t understand it!”

He was about to explain that dachshunds, especially those from Teckelstein, had an attitude about reality and life best described as a belief that if you couldn’t do it yourself you just find some nice friendly kind human to con into doing it for you, but just then a giant robot vented a cloud of sleeping gas over them. Meanwhile Sassy and Goldie had quietly slipped through a quantum tunnel off to retrieve Lady Zen Shipper.

Agents of Naughtiness!

Agents of Naughtiness

probably #fanfiction   this couldnt have really happened anywhere in the multiverse? Could it?

What still no paypal tips ?

Okay you're just going to have to put up with another out of sequence of one of the girls' recent misadventures.

A secret facility somewhere  ... apparently you can land and hide an HUGE airbus with driving distance of wher- ever a certain general lives with no one noticing?

What a marvellous universe!

Director Carving into Walls is my new hobby is staring out  of the window and hasnt noticed the live feed from Vault 4 of just HOW Skype is interrogating Buddy's Best Friend who curiously is now wearing a WILFRED outfit with chocolate brown fur and is rolling on the floor either trying to look cute or convince Skype after that recent psychotic break he needs a REAL therapist!

Clonig or is he a droid is standing in front of the screen  clearly praying Director Yoga is not my Hobby stays by the window.

Just then a statue materializes in the middle of the office.

Well it looks like a statue but a door opens in the plinth and a certain notorious twosome emerge.

Goldie cheerfully and loudly.

"Hellooo darlings I understand you're recruiting?"

Director Gosh was that Kree Blood whirls around and spills his coffee as his first reaction on seeing our beloved Goullawk and Dachshund characters is to draw a gun.

"You were banned from ALL SHIELD Faculties!"

"We're willing to apologize for putting a smiley face on your boss' eyepatches!"

meekly declaimed the canine member of this duo.

"So are you recruiting!? We do filing and martial arts soo!"

Director Connect the Kree equations is about to snarl at them when he notices whats going despite downstairs despite Clonig standing in front of the screens.

"We also do therapy!" states Goldie!

"Thats it! I give up! I'm going to the real Tahiti!"

Just then Fitz wanders in from the lab and unlike everyone else in the room is not being hysterical.

"Oh helloo girls!"

He walks towards the plinth of the statue.

"Just where do you think you're going?" asks Director forced to travel coach.

"The girls are taking me to visit a special Doctor!"

Cut to final scene Director Over stressed is quietly sobbing.

He wanted to go visit the man in the Blue Box too!

More silliness sooner or later!

Argh grr must get back to fixing chapter 3 of REAL serious novel!

Next stop a pit stop

We last saw one of our heroines arranging for messages to be delivered.

The other?

Out from a steaming pit flumped an infuriated Goullawk who was also steaming.

Literally with purple fumes coming out of her nostrils.

She inhaled and shrieked.

"NYARGLE NYARGH ARGH"

Unfortunately for our villians no one saw her rise from the pit.

Otherwise Stratagem 36 would have been operative.

The Goullawk is in a dangerous to others VERY MAD BAD mood.

Multiverse Beware!

To be continued at the usual erratic rate. Sooner or later.

DODO SUPER FLYING ULTRA POSTAL SERVICE

Sassy's trip through the vortex had brought her to the Door that goes almost Everywhere and When.

"DODO's Super Flying Ultra Postal Service Head Office Please!"

In an neglected corner of fan fiction was Generic City
(see Just a Lotta animals if you can find it)
and in Generic City was a service run about some very special pigeons and parrots and other Avians. someone had genespliced a pigeon a dodo and possibly a bit of African Grey parrot. The result had a perch behind a counter and was wearing a ww2 fighter pilot cap.

"Oh hello Sassy havnt seen any of your folk for a while."

"Dodo dear do you have an active link to Teckelstein?" asked Sassy as she trotted behind the counter into the staff area.

"I've got a tech team looking at that now. The light keeps blinking on and off!"

The pigeon flapped down a corridor and Sassy trotted swiftly below and just a little behind him.

They entered a room full of blinking lights with names like Westeros, Honorverse, Disney Anime, Urban Noir, Uber Chicago and of course Discworld. Each of these lights had a pigeon size door below it and various notes, like beware the gargoyles, avoid the dragons, or force shield necessary.

On the floor below some very large rats wearing tool belts were swarming in and out of a mechanism that seemed to be connecting various cables to the lights and doors and a large monitor. There was a shriek from inside that mechanism and a ratty scream of

"See I told you it was live. Use the meter!"

A slightly scorched rodent wombled out towards them spun around and collapsed.

"Will he be alright?' asked Sassy smelling burnt fur.

"Ello ello ello wot can ay do for youse?" asked another rodent wearing a white cap and glasses.

"Teckelstein! Has the link stabilised!"

Well we're getting a lot of quantum fluctation today but yes while I don't think a medium to large humanoid  could travel through quantum we can generate a quantum level tunneling for a smaller being like your ladyship or our couriers!

Dodo puffed out his chest.

"What message do you want me to deliver Sassy?"

"Several actually! I have a list!" stated the dachshund.

To be continued when my informants don't get distracted and forget to discover notes to me!

Spoiler alert I swear by the nine muses certain events in upcoming episodes occurred BEFORE Forever Evil and of course this is fiction but why do the girls keep "guessing" about certain events? worrisome? Mr L is trying along with Young L#$% to break the mythic cycle and the girls have been insisting for years that ... what next a certain Lannister finally gets his hands on gunpowder and cannonry?

Final note to readers I am actually writing a serious SF novel.
This series ... isn't ...any definable genre?

Consequences and Convergences or Return of the Queen and other stuff

Meanwhile back in the "real" world events were almost as odd as those occurring at the Node.

Wakandan State Media was announcing an takeover bid for Fox News to the glee of a certain President.

In Tokyo a Shinto shrine was being raised to Godzilla who had just saved Tokyo AGAIN and was being offered the entire days contents of Tsukuji fish market as the first offering.

Ron and Jack were leading a convoy of British heroes to Stonehenge to help at the Node battle.

In Canberra Australia a talking Koala in clothes and a creature that looked at a pudding with legs wearing an old style ceramic kitchen bowl  were trying to explain to a Prime Minister and his Treasurer the economy was not a Magic Pudding.

Elsewhere a small hound was being whirled through time and space in search on herself !

And that ominously bubbling pit where we left Goldie?

Someone has just crawled out of it and she's in a really BAD mood!

You thought Godzilla's roar in the latest movie version was impressive.

This isn't a podcast! You'll just have to imagine how it sounds!

NYARGAHARGLRAHAHAHAAAARKARGH!

Yipe definitely a bad mood!

Glitter Goullawk

Copyright julie vaux 2014

this is what happens when a goullawk queen  rolls in glitter after a scale polishing session and her poor lowly scribe tries to draw it in colored pencil and marker and then decides to test her laptop webcam by holding up the piece of watercolor paper to it ...

hope you enjoyed this test piece 

Steaming Queens

Steaming Queens

Back at the Node the villains moved over to the control bunker and left a certain hole in the ground unattended. The hole was the shape of a giant robotic foot on its outer edges and in the middle, an indent in the soil, was the outline of a Goullawk.

Somewhere under that was what was left of Goldie's body in a comatose state.

A gardening robot came trundling over and filled the hole with water and then went off to get some soil and plants. The water soaked downwards and meet some unique biochemistry.

Some odd sounds arose from the hole. Fizzing bubbling popping and hissing  as the hole filled with something that looked like a purple soft drink.

There was a bulge as something at the bottom of the hole absorbed fluid and begun to UNflatten but slowly. The bubbling continued. Steam rose up.

The fluid rippled. A pair of breathing holes  could be seen if you were really close. There was a loud inhaling noise then all the bubbling hissing and steaming stopped except for a occasional plop of extra large bubbles.

The queen was steaming mad. Woe betide anything that got in her way when she emerged from healing.

 

One Lab Accident Revisited and revised (sections in ( )
(original post nov 2012 )
Just to remind you who some of our characters are before the big battle!

"Now what's next on our list?" asked Goldie, although she was quite capable of reading it herself.

Sassy was squinting earnestly with a very serious expression at the list.

"We've got cavalry and air support but we need a flock of dodos and to arrange a freak storm in Pasadena to cause a lab accident to an (Princess) Amy (of the Apes) FF, some called pennypennypenny! and Bernie ... is ... gosh who wrote this for me ... is that name wolowiz?"

Meanwhile in Pasadena other people had similar ideas and two Ph.D.s, a Masters in Engineering and a waitress were setting up chemicals and other devices while Mrs Wolowiz and Superpandit were watching them. Superpandit was floating four feet off the floor as his new levitation abilities had gotten stuck on HOVER.

"Okay people," the male Ph.D,"if we're right about how the laws of physics have changed an open window a kitchen bench covered with dangerous chemicals and  a few of his hairs should allow us to locate the East Texan Mantis Monster along with this picture Stuie draw for us and the scrabble board on the table.

Now how do we get the freak weather or electrical dishcharge?"

Some short time later in the stratosphere Lady Zen Shipper was cloud herding disguised as an airship with camo gray cloud patterns.

"All right are we above Pasadena yet?  Everyone got their safety googles on?" asked JonaHexed dressed in a dashing 30s style lab jacket steam punk googles and black rubber boots.

"Oh can I do the count down when you pull the lever?" squealed Goldie!

"Lets all do it start chanting folks!" cried JonaHeXed as he started moving the lever downwards.

"TEN!" There was a humming sound.

"NINE!" An whiff of ozone!

"EIGHT!"

Well yeah you're going to have to READ the SFX unless I suddenly start getting a helluva lot of Paypal tokens of appreciation so I can pay a PRO to draw this and other scenes and no one has used the paypal yet even once sheesh so ... read on.

"SEVEN" Fluvia's hair begun to frizz with static electricity and Sassy's heckles rose.

"SIX" Down in Pasadena the waitress looked out the window and exclaimed

"Oh a freak unforecast storm!"

"FIVE" "Everyone get inside the circle or stand next to the chemicals!" shouted one of the Ph.D's in Pasadena.

"FOUR"

"THREE"

"TWO"

Okay everyone reader participation time!

"ONE!"

A massive discharge of over excited molecules wove a mass of air into a pathway for power and flashed downwards thru the window.

Next time have our fearless heroines made new allies?

Goullawk Queen Portrait

My portrait of Goldie.

No new stuff this week. 

Sorry the girls escaped to go clubbing with various people. 

Somewhere in the multiverse there's a night club owner with a huge damages bill.

Copyright Julie Vaux 2013

Finally a Battle

Finally a Battle Scene.

Well almost there!

"Okay people final checklist!

Do we have ...


Guns that look so heavy you should fall over trying to pick one up.

Assorted swords knifes and artifacts techno and magical.

Wizards. Dragons. Witches.

A half horse and a Horde of Lost girls.

People from Pasadena for technical and other support.

Dodos and a whole family of people comfortable with the idea of them being fictional and real at the same time.

A vortex manipulator adjusted to fit a Dachshund.

Londons finest Immigrant Taxi driver and his cyborg wife.

Space people and ..."

"Oi oi oy am I too late?" shouted a ginger headed woman leaping out of a car driven by her grandfather.

Yes gentle readers due to the cosmic crisis a certain ginger Donna's not dim any more and can be doctorish without her brain exploding.

The Doctorish Donna has returned!

"Do we have a battle plan though?" asked a character,"we're out gunned out powered and outnumbered by villianry and henchfolk?"

"We're the heroes restoring balance to the multiverse of course we win!" barked sassy confidently.

Another character made a dark inquiry.

"Don't these cosmic resets usually require a tragic sacrifice or great loss of some one?"

"You'ld be surprised what you can lose and still survive and love," responded Fluvia somewhat grimly.

JonaHexed looked at fluvia and asked,

"There's this rumor you're been talking to your future self ..."

"Oh that rumor that my future self gets uploaded into a planet sized AI and that with that much power I could maybe transcend time and space ... just a rumor!" smirked Fluvia.

(Scribal note you have figured out who fluvia is by now gentle readers?)

"Yes well do we have a battle plan?"

"Teamwork just like in WOW!" shouted one of the People from Pasadena.

"Seriously we need a plan!"

"Okay" stated D.E.M. "We go to the Node kick butt majorly and sieze control of the Node and put everything back the way it was!"

"We could make things better?" some one asked wistfully.

"lets just finish loading and up up and away!" barked Sassy.

Gentle readers if you've dropped in the Node is one of those places outside our universe from which one can access and even alter several parts of the Multiverse. The technology or device for doing this is called a Cintamani in Sanksrit. Think Wishing Jewel Psionic Amplifier Laran Stone Infinity Gem Cosmic Crystal Cubic thingies ... getting the idea?

A leading Villian Mr L tired of all the endless reality resets along with a few dozen of his friends and frenemies and allies has over run the Node and made a wish that caused realities and fictionalities to converge with our reality.

Sitcom characters and superheroes and a few antiheroic types who normally deal with these crises this time are aware they have artists and authors and are harassing their creators instead of trying to fix the crisis.

Example this battle via Skype.

Two familiar faces of consulting detectives are screaming at each other via their computer monitors

"I'm the REAL Sher ...

Meanwhile in the background two Doctors with the same family name but differing ethncities are conversing via their mobiles

"Sooo in this new reality we have the same great grand parent and one of his children went to Hong Kong and the other stayed in Britain and ..."

Who's left to fix things ? Sassy a sentient dachshund and Goldie a Dragonoid and an assortment of characters.

Lady Zen Shipper took off from Respite Street heading for a battle even more deadly than that between two massive yet immature egos with giant intellects and an emotional age not particularly adult.

The Node seemed curiously empty. Lady Zen landed facing the Cintamani Shrine which seemed to rise unguarded from a field of grass like growths surrounded by a forest of trees.

There was however a large slab of crystal nearby displaying a map of the current configuration of the Node.

Princess Amy of the Apes was Invisible again and wandered over to the crystal. She touched it just to see what would happen and a path appeared in red from the Node to a spot marked Gate Control and Your true love is here!"

Amy of the Apes briefly shifted into Princess Mode,became visible,  picked up her skirts and begun to ran. The Pasadena People followed her.

"Hey wait you're our tech support don't run off!" screamed Jonahexed.

And that of course was when the giant robots appeared.

Sentinels Battle Suits Iron Giants Computos dropped their cloaking fileds and moved to surround Lady Zen Shipper. Evil cyborgs droids robots nanoswarms and other synthetic beings raced towards them.

The Wizards of London raised a shield over our valiant minority.

Then to add to their problems several infamous sorcerers necromancers wizards dark mages and wicked witches along with their minions familiars and pet demons and monsters joined the forces arrayed against them.

"Come moving forward everyone!" shouted DEM slashing at a tentacled montrosity while JonaHexed blasted a group of minor rock demons with fragmentation rounds and Fluvia fired her guns. The equine person was using a vintage machine pistol. The Lost Girls were using swords nunchakus, and winsomely sweet innocent smiles that caused several people to have to stop and throw up. The dodos were running around in chaotic circles plocking and confusing the villians who couldn't decide each one to shoot first. The people from Swindon employed a wide variety of weaponry they'd collected over the years and then ... it happened.

Goldie raced ahead on her rocket sled beyond the wizards' shields just as a giant robot foot slammed to the ground.

There  was a large deep footprint and no sign of the Goullawk.

"Keep moving!" shrieked DEM grabbing Sassy by her collar as she tried to reach the hole in the ground.

To be continued.

Do Goullawks really have a high body density best compared to rubber?

Will Amy of the Apes find her lost love and receive true Love's kiss.

Where are those backup dragons?

And why haven't the forces of Teckelstein arrived yet?

Questions to be answered some time in the future.














 

AAARGH ACK AND ARGLE

AAARGH ACK AND ARGLE

A MESSAGE FROM THE (c0) Star of this series

Ms. Gilda Dragonides aka Goldie the Goullawk,

Copyright Julie Vaux 2013

Despite Sassy and My multiple efforts to distract divert and otherwise cheer up  and inspire the Scribe she's still only half  way through the next chapter due to the tasks involved in something called clearing a estate which apparently involves paperwork throwing out lots of stuff and photographing and putting up ads for other stuff instead of drawing and writing about me and Sassy.

Please read the prior posts oh and will someone please use the paypal tip jar ?

Easter Break 2013 so some pics

Temporal pests is taking an Easter Break so here's some older sketches of Goldie to look at until next week

copyright julie vaux 2013 

copyright julie vaux 2013 

copyright julie vaux 2013 

A repeat of Yes its a Trap Goldie

Yes It's A Trap Goldie!


Back in a certain city haunted by demons monsters wannabe actors and writers a peculiar being even by that city's standards was preparing for a painful change. She didn't believe in suffering to look fabulous but even Goldie accepted there was no way she could get to and into the open casting session advertised in the newspaper  for "Unusual People with Unusual Talents" as a Goullawk   nor would changing size work either. The sudden appearance of a 50 foot tall Dragonoid  tended to startle people as much as her usual appearance. She would have to use that spell one of her boyfriends Mr. BlackandSilver (Scribal hint: Translate it into Sindarin) taught her and change form as well. Walking on two legs wearing shoes was not pleasant but she'd had enough practise to do it with grace and style and a slight but sexy wobble.

A half an hour later inside the hotel several people were complaining about the strange noises that came from a certain room as persons of the hench folk variety watched a woman with purple hair and makeup and a short dress of metallic golden scales exited the hotel.

"Wow it worked! We got her out of the hotel and on her own!
The bosses will be so happy!

Back at the Node their bosses were indeed chortling their way through a cultural tradition laughing evilly between paragraphs sentences and phrases as they gloated about their plans in front of their prisoners, members of various Time Agencies, Patrols, Departments, and other organisations.

"This time Brethren sisters and other genders we win!

Our dark alliance has gained control and access over a primary node!

The gates between realities fictional mythic parallel and alternate are ALL opening!

We can reprogram and alter multiple universes split off timelines or loop them back and gain our heart's desires so every one gets what they deserve!"

"Especially some of our writers!"

In one containment area prisoners were following the cultural tradition of whispering or using sign language or really obscure languages like Bundalung or Fur to communicate.

(Scribal notes Yes these are actual human languages!)

"Some one must have a sonic screwdriver or a multi tool or something shirley?"

"I have my ..."

Several people groaned at a Captain called Jack who was trying to catch the eye of a guard by smiling flirtatiously.

Elsewhere a certain Goullawk had begun to notice the local reality seemed to be rather plagued with cliches, particularly near her.  Pianos were rolling off trucks along with bananas, an unusually large number of pigeons were doing comedic deposits of droppings, and an ominous storm had appeared suddenly, and she'd only had to walk one block before she found an empty taxi to the studio, where the queue had suddenly shortened when a raid was made for former Australian soap actors who'd overstayed their visa.

The hench persons were watching her keenly.

They had carefully prepared the ultimate temptation.

An open door off the hallway to auditions showing a rehearsal room with a full orchestra and a percussion set  ... shiny bling  no Goullawk with musical delusions could resist. Goldie had musical ambitions. Unfortunately she also had a singing voice that to humans was disconcerting.

Then there was that thing that happened when she was around instruments unattended. She inevitably ended up literally entangled with whatever she tried to play. The Triangle. A Cello. A drum kit. And the unfortunate incident with the flute.

Goldie forced herself to stay in the line for registration and then was undone by a single statement.

"Feel free to wander around and look at everything or use the ladies while you're waiting for your name to be called Ms. Dragonides!"

That should had been a clue but the instinct to be dramatic coupled with curiosity overwhelmed reason and logic and Goldie nonchalantly circled backwards admiring photos on the wall towards that door. It was after all near the entry to the ladies room and another ... well just a little look thru the door at all that shiny musical bling ... just a look ...

Back at the hotel Sassy and Johahexed had returned from their shopping and seen the open paper with the ad circled lying on the bed.

"oh she wouldn't have ... she couldn't ... she promised1" moaned Sassy.

"Did we remember to include a time clause in her promise to stay in the hotel ... did we?" asked Jonahexed rhetorically as Sassy jumped off the door and charged out the door.

Goldie was in the doorway of the rehearsal door and walked slowly but in a very straight line towards the percussion section and all those shiny lovely music making tools. She sat down and picked up a drumstick. Hands with fingers did have certain advantages over fingerclaws and flippers with velcro like sections. She began to play slowly and delicately at first a section from Tubular Bells and then shifted tempos to some thing operatic and louder and faster. Her temporary hands flew over the instruments from xylophone to bells to triangles and drums and back again becoming a blur of motion and sound and her shape wavered.

She surrendered to the rhythm started a crescendo and the spell binding her to human form failed and then there was a loud crash as she fell off the seat and various instruments landed on top of her.

The hench persons entered the room with nets and a large Goullawk sized box chortling triumphantly and begun to perform the delicate procedure of unentangling a Goullawk while at the same time restraining and binding fingerclaws flippers and flukes.

Just as they finished turning Goldie into something that looked like a very bizarre decorative prop for a SMBD club a motorcycle with a dachshund in a side car came racing into the room.

"Release that Goullawk!" cried Sassy and JonaHexed in twofold harmony.

"and you're going to stop us how ?" snickered a henchman.

Jonahexed opened his coat to reveal interesting objects.

"Let's start with a semi sentient Shuriken I borrowed from a SF novel series!" he stated throwing that with one hand as the other raised a Original guess what Series Phaser set on Stun.

A very short time later they had Goldie half untied and balanced precariously in the side car as JonaHexed with Sassy posed on his lap raced through the studio grounds seeking an unguarded entrance. But Every single entry point was blocked with groups of hench persons smirking besides or behind barricades.

Jonahexed stopped the bike and drew his weapons as armored hench persons stalked closer and closer encircling them.

Sassy decided to try one last thing and screamed to the empty air.

"TAXI!"

JonaHexed joined her both of them calling out "Taxi! Taxi! Taxi!" both hoping their favorite Taxi driver wasn't busy elsewhere.

Lady Fortune was in a good mood and a black old fashioned London cab materialized next to them.

The door opened and a voice with a cheerful but odd cockney accent as spoken by someone using a voice synthesizer that sounded similar to those used by the BBC invited them on board!

"Wotcha ya waiting for?! All'Board Reg's Deluxe Taxi! Now!"

The next post in the series is London Calling .

I'll have a really long chapter posted later this week!

 The Island of Lost girls

"How do we find the Island of Lost Girls?" yelped Sassy consulting her list.

"Never heard of it myself," stated Fluvia, "Which is Odd. I wrote a thesis on finding lost artifacts missing worlds and secret headquarters of cosmic conspiracies. Then I rewrite it for the mass market as a best selling how to guide series! Which paid for so many delightful things!"

"Island of the Lost Girls!" barked Sassy, "does that mean anything to anyone here?"

"Mmm ... I think I took a fare there once?" stated Reg.

"But where Reg? Where?"

"Somewhere nowhere. They told me to stop the taxi on the edge of a huge mass of clouds and a landing platform suddenly appeared. My fares got out and the platform disappeared and the whole cloud mass MOVED! That was spooky. It rumbled at me and moved off."

"Reg I said Island of the Lost Girls not Disappearing Cloud!" retorted Sassy shaking her head and ears.

"Well the fare was two little girls and the landing platform had a sign saying Welcome Home Lost Girls!" snapped Reg, "and that was so odd I took a special note of the co-ordinates."

"Reg you are the very best Dawllawk in the Multiverse!" cried Sassy.

"I'm the only Dawllawk in the Multiverse," grumbled Reg,

"Here are the co-ordinates ..."

Lady Zen Shipper and her passengers soon found themselves floating somewhere above the Mid West next to a large mass of clouds.

"So how do we get inside the cloud or whatever is inside that cloud?" asked Fluvia studying it through Lady Zen Shippers currently open air lock.

Sassy and Goldie were standing by her feet.

"Oh I had a thought!" exclaimed Goldie.

"A rare and beautiful thing," muttered another of the passengers.

Goldie took a deep breath and exhaled the words.

"HELLO GIRLS WOULD YOU LIKE SOME NEW PLAYMATES!"

The clouds moved.

One section of them reached out and turned into a bridge one end barely touching the ship the other connected to a tunnel.

Sassy placed one paw on the bridge then another and then confident it was solid trotted across it followed by Goldie and then Fluvia.

The tunnel lead to an open meadow with fruit trees and swings and flowers and a shallow clear brook leading into a small pond  perfect for wading or swimming.

Girls were playing in it with unicorns and puppies and kittens and griffins.

Two girls however were practicing martial arts feinting at each other.

Sassy run over to them calling out what she hoped were their names.

"Hello are you Bethany and Sinh?"

"And I'm Lena!" announced a petite girl walking towards them.


To be continued.

What will our band of misfits refugees and leftovers do next?

Goullawk Gallery

The Goullawk Queen has asked her humble scribe to beseech visitors to consider becoming regular readers to Temporal Pests as she reads the stats over my shoulder and she's well she is a DRAGONoid sooo

Here's three interpretations of how Her Majesty appears two by me one by another artist.

Afternoon Tea

Afternoon Tea with Bamfs and PR

Sassy barked an important announcement.

"Okay everyone according to my notes we have a BIG fight scene coming up so we're going to break for afternoon tea or coffee or whatever you drink, non-alcoholic, please!"

And now we're ignoring the Fourth Wall! Again!

Now for a direct appeal from our characters!


Ladies and Gentle Beings our scribe has gotten somewhat distracted by her annnual frenzy of almost useless prexmas PR for card and gift design.

We keep telling her she should just focus on us but then she despairing looks at the Google stats and glares at us and then despairing looks at the lack of sales or PayPal donations and then logs off the computer and does some boring and mundane chore like pay a bill or cook or wash clothes sooo please remember to tell your friends and family to visit temporal pests or one of our scribes other sites like

 www.cafepress.com/voxyvisions or www.redbubble.com/people/scholara

oh yes we nearly forget the scribe is glaring at us by the way

our scribe works casually so she gets NO vacation pay and the local college just ended its term so no work for six weeks so please think about visiting those sites and helping her with some PR okay

Now back to Afternooon Tea.

One of the reasons people were willing to work for and with Sassy and Goldie was that Lady Zen Shipper had some amazing recipes in her replicator and some wonderful goodies in storage.

Real Italian Gelato served in Ming dynasty porcelain bowls.

Japanese tea sweets. A choice of ice or hot tea green or "black".

Freshly baked scones with REAL cream and jam.

Tiny but delicious little dumplings and pastries and small but intensely flavorsome chocolates.

And real picnic rugs scattered with cushions and parasols for thos ewho needed them.

Fluvia and girls from Pasadena were pouring tea for the others and even the B$%fs
were behaving after an initial attempt to swarm and grab all the cake at all had been stopped by Fluvia heroicly cooing "Who needs a group hug?"

She had briefly disappeared into a swarm of B$%fs until the other ladies girls and women present grabbed a few B$%fs each and helped her with the group hug.

Now sated with affection and cakes the B%^Fs were being also adorable and were walking around the picnicers offering plates and platters of food.

"How many things are left on this list?" asked Fluvia.

"We're about half way through it both time and item wise!" replied Sassy.

Next time what's happening elsewhere.

Meet the Constructor

Meet the Constructor !

and a few other familiar faces

"Wow!" exclaimed Sassy looking at the scanner, "We didn't vaporize most of Pasadena though it is a bit singed ..."

"well" cackled Jonahexed grabbing his hands together, "Now to see if our evil plan worked hehehe.

Fluvia slapped him.

"I told him not to dress up in that horror movie outfit!"

She grabbed him by an ear.

"Bath time for you in blessed water!

Fortunately I'm used to handling adults who act like twelve year olds!"

JonaHexed whimpered and inside his container Dark Caper giggled and crooned.

People who had been possessed by him were prone to lingering moments of odd behaviour.

"So dramatic entrance via teleport to see if we zapped the Gang?" asked Goldie," and can I wear my Power Goullawk vest?"

"The one you cut down from Pee Gee's old outfits?" asked Fluvia,"ah  does it still have the ... ???"

"Humph I took out the gag boobs!" snapped Goldie.

Meanwhile several thousand feet below smoke was clearing and clothes had changed.

"Howie," squealed Mrs Wolowiz,"you look awesome!"

"In a strangely Kirbysque way?" observed Leon.

The Waitress was now wearing a white and gold outfit with a large P on the very tight front and Mrs Wolowiz a miniskirt thigh high boots and a swimsuit apparently designed by Mike Grell.

Leon was just about to realise his own outfit now resembled Coluan haute couture circa the thirty first century when a classic Trek teleport sfx filled the middle of the room.

"oh nooo!" moaned Super Pandit in his delightful accent,"it is the little doggie and the very nagging mini naga queen and ... hello mature but sexy I'm Raaa ..."

Goldie slapped him into silence.

Becoming Super pandit had cured his selective mutism.

Fluvia just looked bemused.

"Sorry sweetie I have a man!"

"look Ladies just why are you here?" asked Leon," and aren't you Riv...?"

"Hush sweetie we don't want to attract any copyright lawyers with no sense of humor?!"

"My future self told me to arrange an "accident" so you'ld all get super powers and we can return to the Node and reset reality," explained Sassy.

"Reset reality? Why we have super powers now!" shouted Wolowiz.

"Well apart from the fact Super Pandit is probably going to get himself killed hitting on someone with more powers than him ... " as she said this Super Pandit was hovering in a position that allowed him a close up view of Fluvia's cleavage, " ... take a look at the news update showing on the TV.

"Yes it's official folks we have several versions of the Justice League and Avengers fighting about who the real ones are in the streets of Manhattan and we're about to cross over for an exclusive interviews with Guy Gardener who claims to be the one and only real Green Lantern.

"Our reality now includes Guy Gardener? Okay that could be a problem ... "

"And what if Galactus or Thanos are real now or did you miss the story about Latveria?" asked Sassy.

Leon shuddered.

Sassy continued reading her notes.

"Oh Mr Wolowiz you are now the CONSTRUCTOR! Think about making something.

"Oookay!"

Wolowiz reached out a hand. Energy suddenly surged down it and a hover bike appeared.

"Hey can I have a new car?" asked the Waitress.

"Oookay!"

"Mmm that's your super power Persuasion!"

"And what do I do?" asked Mrs Wolowiz .

"mmm you're the Shrieker with super sonic shouting power according to my notes," answered Sassy.

"So ladies what can the CONSTRUCTOR imagineer for you?"

"Ah guys ... and ladies what about the other problem?" asked Leon pointing at teh whiteboard.

A drawing had appeared of a bluejay pointing at a man wearing a black cape with a familiar expression of assumed superiority next to a symbol combining a flower and a spiral and a note saying Meemaw's Moonpie is with the super villians at the Node.

"What's the Node?" asked the Waitress,"A comic book shop?"

"Earlier this day ..."

Readers if you've just visited go back to the first post and read the opening chapters!

Thank You!

And will someone please use the Paypal box ?

One Lab Accident

"Now what's next on our list?" asked Goldie, although she was quite capable of reading it herself.

Sassy was squinting earnestly with a very serious expression at the list.

"We've got cavalry and air support but we need a flock of dodos and to arrange a freak storm in pasadena to cause a lab accident to an Amy FF, some called pennypennypenny! and Bernie ... is ... gosh who wrote this for me ... is that name wolowiz?"

Meanwhile in Pasadena other people had similar ideas and two Ph.D., a Masters in Engineering and a waitress were setting up chemicals and other devices while Mrs Wolowiz and Superpandit were watching them. Superpandit was floating four feet off the floor as his new levitation abilities had gotten stuck on HOVER.

"Okay people if we're right about how the laws of physics have changed an open window a kitchen bench covered with dangerous chemicals and  a few of his hairs should allow us to locate the East Texan Mantis Monster along with this picture Stuie draw for us and the scrabble board on the table.

Now how do we get the freak weather or electrical discharge?"

Some short time later in the stratosphere Lady Zen Shipper was cloud herding disguised as an airship with camo gray cloud patterns.

"All right are we above Pasadena yet?  Everyone got their safety googles on?" asked JonaHexed dressed in a dashing 30s style lab jacket steam punk googles and black rubber boots.

"Oh can I do the count down wehn you pull the lever?" squealed Goldie!

"Lets all do it start chanting folks!" cried JonaHeXed as he started moving the lever downwards.

"TEN!" There was a humming sound.

"NINE!" An whiff of ozone!

"EIGHT!" Well yeah you're going to have to READthe SFX unless I suddenly start getting ahelluva lot of Paypal tokens of appreciation so I can pay a PRO to draw this and other scenes and no one has used the paypal yet and Christmas is coming and ...

"SEVEN" Fluvia's hair begun to frizz with static electricity and Sassy's heckles rose.

"SIX" Down in Pasadena the waitress exclaimed

"Oh a freak unforecast storm!"

"FIVE" "Everyone get inside the circle or stand next to the chemicals!" shouted one of the Ph.D's in Pasadena.

"FOUR"

"THREE"

"TWO"

Okay everyone reader participation time!

"ONE!"

A massive discharge of over excited molecules wove a mass of air into a pathway for power and flashed downwards thru the window.

Next time have our fearless heroines made new allies?

Duckponds and Doctors

Duck Ponds and Doctors

While Goldie was motivating her fellow dragonoids Lady Zen Shipper was landing with a loud splash in a duck pond, of the sort that could been found in any neglected English Mid counties village lacking tourist attractions and bypassed by the new roadway or possibly somewhere completely different as there was smoke coming up from a working forge and from a nearby school people were chanting the letters of the ABC and it wasn't the Roman one.

Sassy exited Lady Zen shipper and trotted across the boarding ramp watched by some very irate geese and ducks complaining because they had just lost half the water in their pond and a few startled villagers who were much less noisier. One of the more sensible villagers was running up to the local castle. Sassy headed for the village school as her sensible canid hearing had recognized the distinctive tones of a certain voice.

"Very good class! Now we'll move on to revising Signs of Demonic Possession and Basic Gnomish. Don't forget after lunch a trip uphill to watch the testing of the latest defense automaton!"

"Can they do that without you? We need you elsewhere!" asked Sassy.

The teacher dressed with surprising elegance and refinement for a small village in black silk robes with silver jewellery looked at Sassy glanced  out the window at Lady Zen Shipper currently posing as a statue amidst the pond and then leapt out thru the open window changing mid leap into a black and silver dragon taking flight towards the castle. Sassy trotted after him.

Meanwhile back in HerInside's parlor Dr. A was watching the TV with increasing dismay as update after update confirmed his fears. Case Red Sky Falling was causing alternate realities and functionalites to fuse.
Also Young Robert had rung and announced since the situation was a Case Red Sky Falling and NOt Bad Lovecraftian Emerald Dream he and his wife were going to "do something safe and normal, the washing, a picnic, a sleep-in whatever, or maybe something sensible like catch a train to Edinburgh and have a talk with our author..."

On the TV screen an announcer was introducing a face Young Robert might have recognised but not Dr. A.

"" and live from Pasadena to explain the physics behnd universes merging is Dr Leon Ho..."
"Hey before we start I'ld like to ask if anyone has seen this missing person seen walking off with a group of people wearing black shouting out "Me join the Masters of the universe and NOT Wil Wheaton! Thank you hypothetical Deity!"

Yes gentle readers a certain person with a doctorate from Texas has escaped the Village and is wearing black.

At the Castle gates Sassy was barking for attention.

"MrBlackandSilver I know you're in there! Please come out we need you.
I need you. You're on my list. Not the list of potential dates for Goldie."

"Go away. No one's home. They just left on a quest!"

"What quest?" demanded Sassy.

"A quest to successfully visit the capital city and do some shopping  without getting involved in royal politicking or offending any priests or discovering any demonic manifestations or whatever!"

"Ask the resident witch what Red Sky Falling means," replied Sassy.

There was a brief silence then the gates opened and a reluctant trio came out, the shapeshifting dragon, a witch, and a man wearing reading glasses and a sword along with a tool bag on the  war belt.

"Does our author know you're here ... AGAIN?!" queried one of them.

"NO and I don't think she'll find out. Dr. January is not on my list." replied Sassy," Oh come on don't dawdle. You're between books or after a series anyway and we have to save the multiverse really soon!"

Meanwhile back in New York certain editors' worse nightmares had occurred. They had been cornered in their offices by a famous feline felon and a fearless female investigative reporter who wanted something done about their relationships.

"He finally told me he loved me and you B@#$%^&* reset the Demented Continuum," shrieked one while waving a whip, "and then you catered to the fanboys with that roof top scene. A third female standing outside the door threw a knife to the reporter who called out "Thanks!" and then pointed the knife at the petite brunette standing in the corridor next to two very tall striking redheads and begun ranting,
"You let them get married and me you keep waiting for DECADES and then finally I get my gorgeous combo of sincere loving smalltown boy and powerful alpha male alien and you You YOU ...."

The rest had be censored. I'm sure female readers can guess what would happen if SK and LL could get their hands on certain people.

Sassy however was busy. She had a Doctor to pick up! a doctor of archaeology called ... Fluvia Canta.

Technically Fluvia was custody. Fluvia who had several other names teasingly preferred to it as protective custody as not only did she have a spouse with a travelling device but some very special girlfriends to go shopping with, namely Sassy and Goldie.

Lady Zen Shipper appeared in the corridor outside of Fluvia's cell NS  young guard whimpered. "Nnononon not again," and didn't even bother trying for the phone. Sassy calmly walked over to the door of the cell and barked out a request,

"Darling know where I could find a Doctor of Archaeology who might know where I get a Vortex manipulator ?"

fluvia smiled and the lights went out.

The lights quickly came back on showing an empty corriodr and cell and the guard sighed and then cheered up thinking "oh well if she's away along enuff I can have her desert! Its Martian Apple Pie night!"

to be continued sooner or later

Herding Cats

Herding cats and dragons.

Organizing dragons into groups for joint action is a feat similar to herding cats. Unlikely but possible if the cats have a common gaol.

Pleasing a human they're fond of. Defending kits. Receiving praise.

Getting an annoying small dragonoid to go away.

Then again they may just ignore every effort you make.

Goldie had been sitting on a beach for quite some time next to a pile of collectables and bling shrieking bulging and yodelling in every dragonish lanaguage she know attempting to attract attention so she could get a larger sea dragon or a flier to get her over and up to Dragonmont.

Several potential cusotmers were circling overhead. Some of them had swooped down and attempted to help themselves or taunted her screaming back,
"Oooh look its the LITTLE Goullawk!"

"Hey look its the girl who got banned from Dragonmont!"

Golid retorted loudly.

"Hey I've got Sara Lee Chocolate Cheesecake and it's defrosting ..."
Goldie paused to take a deep breath before she screamed,
" . . . and I've got Pavlova ... and Dwarf Wrought Gold Collars  ... and EMBROIDERED QUILTED EGG WARMERS from a Suzhou workshop and ..."

There was apparently a surfeit and surplus of gold collars and sweet treats but egg warmers were in demand!

Soon a few doting mothers descended and begun to inspect the goodies.

There was a brief tantrum of wing clattering and threats and tail spiking until one female dragon with steam emitting spikes drove off the others.

"Iski!" sqealed Goldie in delight,"You're in egg?! Oh I can godmother him or her! Sooo how come you're willing to defy the High Flight and get me up to Dragonmont."

"Hey I'm between books and you know me ...  me take orders from anyone unless I profit and most of the High Flight are BOYS! I can outfly them easily! So time for showing how splendid I am in flight. Flump into my harness dear and we'll be up up and away!"

There was a rumor that Dragonmont was situated on an actual world rather then being a dreaming place and that it was one occupied maybe even created by the Dragonoid equivalent of posthumans who had transcended physicality. The constellations moved. There were seasons and storms and cloudy skies to dive through yet sometimes the clouds took on dragon like shapes and had eyes. Ancient sometimes kindly sometimes angry but definitely non human eyes.

Iski and Goldie however were not thinking about that. Iski was trying to catch a thermal and rise up towards the summit of Dragonmont. Dragonmont was an enormous large island probably volcanic in origin though martian size volcanoes were not normally possible on Earth type planets. Especially not volcanoes with grottoes both natural and carved and a plentitude of hot and cold springs and cliffs to soar and glide off and wide ledges and caves for nesting and multiple rings of coral reefs swarming with fish of all sizes.

The lower slopes had villages of friendly biped species willing to groom dragons and make jewellery for them and some race had carved steps and ramps and roads spiralling up and through the mountain side. There were castles to explore and crystal towers and singing stones and a patrol of Guardians racing outwards towards Goldie and Iski.

"YOU!" roared the leader, "are banned from these august and blessed slopes!"

Iski roared back and then folded her wings and plummeted downwards and made a narrow escape into a cloud bank thickening into a storm. he headed inwards toward what would be the eye of the storm. Lightning was starting to flicker from cloud to cloud and dangerously close but Iski fearlessly caught a updraft towards the top of the clouds. The air was thin and dark above but the summit of Dragonmont was visible . As they exited the storm behind them the clouds briefly shifted to a face that winked and smiled  like a boddhisattva if a boddhisattva could be a Dragon.

Stars were visible at the summit of Dragonmont and vast ancient beings resting on the warm ashes that gently rose from an inner cone. Eyes opened to study Iski and Goldie even before Goldie called out to them.

"Hello everyone I'm back. Yes already and have I got news for you!
Some very naughty people are trying to re-arrange the multiverse again and they tried to delete Teckelstein! Isn't that just so bad?!

"A multiverse or any universe with less dachshunds mmmm?" grumbled one of the High Flight.

"Were you NOT told of being banned from this holy place?" hissed another.

A third one stood up and lumbering closer to Goldie and Iski and reached out with one limb in a manner that suggested he could easily and willingly flick Goldie off the summit with one extended claw.

Iski hissed inhaled and shook her ruff to its full extent and coiled her tail and hind parts around the Goullawk.

The Goullawk poked her head up over Iski's protective embrace and glanced at them like a parrot considering sidling along a cage bar to approach a treat.

"Well a fine way to greet a Lady this is!" she snapped.

Some one sniggered in a very unenlightened and vulgar manner.

"Has it occurred to any of you if Teckelstein goes this place might be the next target?" asked Goldie.

There was a brief chorus of hissing groaning and bellowings of denial and annoyment.

"Why is this a problem? We can defeat any fool who invades!" replied one.

Goldie squeezed out of Iski's coils and flumped over to him.

She stared up at the huge Elder and then turned around to look at the others.

"I live in Teckelstein when I' m not living adventures.
If Teckelstein goes then I'll need a new home.
I may be banned from Dragonmont but not the rest of this world ..."

"YET!" snapped another Dragon elder.

"and if Teckelstein goes I WILL move here!"

Some one made an odd choking noise so faint it was hard to tell if it was  a muffled sound of apprecation of the Goullakw's defiance or gagged horror at the prospect of Goldie taking up full time residence.

"And" continued the Goullawk, "I'll apply to join the council which means one of you will have to supervise my trials mmm?"

There was a brief silence while the Elders conferred telepathically.

"All right what do we have to do to get you back home!"


Goldie very smugly started reciting details and plans.

To be continued at the usual erratic pace sometime soon.

Next time maybe another look at Teckelstein.