#Temporal Pests are mostly a satire or parody or #fantasy or whatever you want to call it of all those cosmic crisises and convergences and crossovers. You'll encounter some familiar characters from a variety of genres.
Sassy a sentient dachshund from Teckelstein who with Goldie first appeared in a fanfic satire about a scifi program popular at the time and now defunct.
Goldie the Goullawk Queen. Like her friend Sassy she's escaped from fanfic and rampages across realities. I told you I'm just the scribe.
JonaHexed. Now who could he be? He sometimes has adventures with the girls because so long as he has a few readers he will not fade into oblivion. Fortunately he was written to be lucky!
Fluvia Canta. I guess not enough fans of a certain show know Latin. A gun slinging archaeologist with some interesting boyfriends and a spouse who's out of this world. Then again her boyfriends are her spouse. She likes to go shopping with the girls and other fun activities like escaping prisons and shooting people who really do serve to be shoot.
Reg London's only Dallawk taxi cab driver and yes it is a traditional black cab with a few extras under the bonnet. Yes Reg does resemble a certain type of mutant cyborg he has a heart of gold and a spouse who wears silver and steel.
HerInside likes to garden and cook and wears a frilly pinafore or apron to make it quite clear despite her outer form she's a lady inside.
The Wizards of London. That guy form Chicago said he was too busy.
However other people from London apart from a certain cynical chain smoker have magical powers including Young Robert apprentice to Dr A.
Yes Young Robert and Dr A do work in an occult clean up service.
The Technical Support crew from Pasadena. I have to explain this one?
Ron and Jack
Scholarly saints aiding our girls behind the scenes.
One was once a Catholic the other once a Protestant and both were famous writers.
Various dragons. One of these days some one is figuring to figure out who Mr BlackandSilver is however perhaps thankfully not everyone knows Sindarin or thought about the name of a certain character in a certain series.
Finally Teckelstein. Basically a large chunk of land including a lake islands surrounding mountains once allegedly part of Central Europe and now a planetoid with fusion ramjet and other drives plus dimension jumping devices and much more and a population of dachshunds and characters either taking a vacation or recovering from what their writers do to them in between issues episodes and novels.
Come and join us at Temporal Pests. The plot and the narrative are a bit of muddle but thats probably due to the temporal backlash from the girls reality altering adventures.
Showing posts with label crisis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label crisis. Show all posts
Saturday, 29 March 2014
Saturday, 22 March 2014
Cosmic messaging
Cosmic Messaging
Yes readers despite the lack of interest our #satire # parody #explanation of #cosmic #crossover #crisies continues. Of course its fictional and yet given this years plot developments at a certain company ... well lets just say two or three of our characters are smirking and I'm worried since I know the ending even if you don't!
In the bunker behind a door now reinforced with unobtanium and similar metals courtesy of Wolowiz the Texan Praying Mantis and others were using every terminal to type up mailing lists for everyone they could think of who either had net access or the local equivalent or could send on messages to others.
In a cave under a plateau near a certain Eastern Seaboard city on a bay a faithful retainer had his Second Life session disrupted by an incoming message.
On the screen of several timeships across the multiverse pleas for help and co-ordinates flashed.
Most importantly of all the inbox yapped on A.F. von Teckelstein's desk and a printer churned out a page of information.
One steaming mad queen a couple of hundred enraged Teckelsteiners who had nearly been erased from existence and quite a few other people now known who was responsible and where to go and now to get there.
Or try to get there.
The gates still needed to be opened.
Yes readers despite the lack of interest our #satire # parody #explanation of #cosmic #crossover #crisies continues. Of course its fictional and yet given this years plot developments at a certain company ... well lets just say two or three of our characters are smirking and I'm worried since I know the ending even if you don't!
In the bunker behind a door now reinforced with unobtanium and similar metals courtesy of Wolowiz the Texan Praying Mantis and others were using every terminal to type up mailing lists for everyone they could think of who either had net access or the local equivalent or could send on messages to others.
In a cave under a plateau near a certain Eastern Seaboard city on a bay a faithful retainer had his Second Life session disrupted by an incoming message.
On the screen of several timeships across the multiverse pleas for help and co-ordinates flashed.
Most importantly of all the inbox yapped on A.F. von Teckelstein's desk and a printer churned out a page of information.
One steaming mad queen a couple of hundred enraged Teckelsteiners who had nearly been erased from existence and quite a few other people now known who was responsible and where to go and now to get there.
Or try to get there.
The gates still needed to be opened.
Saturday, 8 February 2014
the notes the notes where are the notes !
Previously on Temporal Pests our characters were imperilled and someone not me lost the notes on what happened next so you'll just have to endure a flashback to an older episode again ...
Let There be Ba#$s!
Reposted in honor of the imminent return of a certain fuzzy elf
"So why do we need the boys to build a transtellar transport device that generates wormholes," asked JonaHexed, who hadn't been allowed to read the list yet?
"Something happens to Reg's Taxi but that's not for another hour," answered Sassy.
"But we have Lady Zen Shipper?" stated Jonahexed.
"Apparently building the gate allows a lost and forgotten character to return."
"So who's next," asked Fluvia, leaning closer to read down the list which Goldie was holding up in her mouth for Sassy to read," THEM? the little blue pests!"
No Dear Readers not the ones starting with S.
Meanwhile a memorial statue of a fuzzy elfish being in San Francisco was surrounded by a horde or swarm of small blue beings all wailing,
"They killed Daddy B@#f! They killed Papa B@#f!"
"And Hewlett finally caught the last of us and banned us from the school grounds!" bewailed another holding an empty whiskey bottle.
Lady Zen Shipper appeared next to the normally invisible yet oddly never a hazard to aircraft or avians giant comatose alien.
"Look!" squealed one of the smarter Bamfs who instead of crying had been panhandling from tourists, "it's the Dragon Queen and the Time Queen and the Teckel Princess!"
The Ba#$ stopped crying and swarmed over to the Girls.
"Hello boys!" barked Sassy, "wanna a job!"
To be continued in the usual erratic manner.
Look I told you this was about a temporal crisis ... must be causing timeloops ?
Let There be Ba#$s!
Reposted in honor of the imminent return of a certain fuzzy elf
"So why do we need the boys to build a transtellar transport device that generates wormholes," asked JonaHexed, who hadn't been allowed to read the list yet?
"Something happens to Reg's Taxi but that's not for another hour," answered Sassy.
"But we have Lady Zen Shipper?" stated Jonahexed.
"Apparently building the gate allows a lost and forgotten character to return."
"So who's next," asked Fluvia, leaning closer to read down the list which Goldie was holding up in her mouth for Sassy to read," THEM? the little blue pests!"
No Dear Readers not the ones starting with S.
Meanwhile a memorial statue of a fuzzy elfish being in San Francisco was surrounded by a horde or swarm of small blue beings all wailing,
"They killed Daddy B@#f! They killed Papa B@#f!"
"And Hewlett finally caught the last of us and banned us from the school grounds!" bewailed another holding an empty whiskey bottle.
Lady Zen Shipper appeared next to the normally invisible yet oddly never a hazard to aircraft or avians giant comatose alien.
"Look!" squealed one of the smarter Bamfs who instead of crying had been panhandling from tourists, "it's the Dragon Queen and the Time Queen and the Teckel Princess!"
The Ba#$ stopped crying and swarmed over to the Girls.
"Hello boys!" barked Sassy, "wanna a job!"
To be continued in the usual erratic manner.
Look I told you this was about a temporal crisis ... must be causing timeloops ?
Thursday, 5 September 2013
Finally a Battle
Finally a Battle Scene.
Well almost there!
"Okay people final checklist!
Do we have ...
Guns that look so heavy you should fall over trying to pick one up.
Assorted swords knifes and artifacts techno and magical.
Wizards. Dragons. Witches.
A half horse and a Horde of Lost girls.
People from Pasadena for technical and other support.
Dodos and a whole family of people comfortable with the idea of them being fictional and real at the same time.
A vortex manipulator adjusted to fit a Dachshund.
Londons finest Immigrant Taxi driver and his cyborg wife.
Space people and ..."
"Oi oi oy am I too late?" shouted a ginger headed woman leaping out of a car driven by her grandfather.
Yes gentle readers due to the cosmic crisis a certain ginger Donna's not dim any more and can be doctorish without her brain exploding.
The Doctorish Donna has returned!
"Do we have a battle plan though?" asked a character,"we're out gunned out powered and outnumbered by villianry and henchfolk?"
"We're the heroes restoring balance to the multiverse of course we win!" barked sassy confidently.
Another character made a dark inquiry.
"Don't these cosmic resets usually require a tragic sacrifice or great loss of some one?"
"You'ld be surprised what you can lose and still survive and love," responded Fluvia somewhat grimly.
JonaHexed looked at fluvia and asked,
"There's this rumor you're been talking to your future self ..."
"Oh that rumor that my future self gets uploaded into a planet sized AI and that with that much power I could maybe transcend time and space ... just a rumor!" smirked Fluvia.
(Scribal note you have figured out who fluvia is by now gentle readers?)
"Yes well do we have a battle plan?"
"Teamwork just like in WOW!" shouted one of the People from Pasadena.
"Seriously we need a plan!"
"Okay" stated D.E.M. "We go to the Node kick butt majorly and sieze control of the Node and put everything back the way it was!"
"We could make things better?" some one asked wistfully.
"lets just finish loading and up up and away!" barked Sassy.
Gentle readers if you've dropped in the Node is one of those places outside our universe from which one can access and even alter several parts of the Multiverse. The technology or device for doing this is called a Cintamani in Sanksrit. Think Wishing Jewel Psionic Amplifier Laran Stone Infinity Gem Cosmic Crystal Cubic thingies ... getting the idea?
A leading Villian Mr L tired of all the endless reality resets along with a few dozen of his friends and frenemies and allies has over run the Node and made a wish that caused realities and fictionalities to converge with our reality.
Sitcom characters and superheroes and a few antiheroic types who normally deal with these crises this time are aware they have artists and authors and are harassing their creators instead of trying to fix the crisis.
Example this battle via Skype.
Two familiar faces of consulting detectives are screaming at each other via their computer monitors
"I'm the REAL Sher ...
Meanwhile in the background two Doctors with the same family name but differing ethncities are conversing via their mobiles
"Sooo in this new reality we have the same great grand parent and one of his children went to Hong Kong and the other stayed in Britain and ..."
Who's left to fix things ? Sassy a sentient dachshund and Goldie a Dragonoid and an assortment of characters.
Lady Zen Shipper took off from Respite Street heading for a battle even more deadly than that between two massive yet immature egos with giant intellects and an emotional age not particularly adult.
The Node seemed curiously empty. Lady Zen landed facing the Cintamani Shrine which seemed to rise unguarded from a field of grass like growths surrounded by a forest of trees.
There was however a large slab of crystal nearby displaying a map of the current configuration of the Node.
Princess Amy of the Apes was Invisible again and wandered over to the crystal. She touched it just to see what would happen and a path appeared in red from the Node to a spot marked Gate Control and Your true love is here!"
Amy of the Apes briefly shifted into Princess Mode,became visible, picked up her skirts and begun to ran. The Pasadena People followed her.
"Hey wait you're our tech support don't run off!" screamed Jonahexed.
And that of course was when the giant robots appeared.
Sentinels Battle Suits Iron Giants Computos dropped their cloaking fileds and moved to surround Lady Zen Shipper. Evil cyborgs droids robots nanoswarms and other synthetic beings raced towards them.
The Wizards of London raised a shield over our valiant minority.
Then to add to their problems several infamous sorcerers necromancers wizards dark mages and wicked witches along with their minions familiars and pet demons and monsters joined the forces arrayed against them.
"Come moving forward everyone!" shouted DEM slashing at a tentacled montrosity while JonaHexed blasted a group of minor rock demons with fragmentation rounds and Fluvia fired her guns. The equine person was using a vintage machine pistol. The Lost Girls were using swords nunchakus, and winsomely sweet innocent smiles that caused several people to have to stop and throw up. The dodos were running around in chaotic circles plocking and confusing the villians who couldn't decide each one to shoot first. The people from Swindon employed a wide variety of weaponry they'd collected over the years and then ... it happened.
Goldie raced ahead on her rocket sled beyond the wizards' shields just as a giant robot foot slammed to the ground.
There was a large deep footprint and no sign of the Goullawk.
"Keep moving!" shrieked DEM grabbing Sassy by her collar as she tried to reach the hole in the ground.
To be continued.
Do Goullawks really have a high body density best compared to rubber?
Will Amy of the Apes find her lost love and receive true Love's kiss.
Where are those backup dragons?
And why haven't the forces of Teckelstein arrived yet?
Questions to be answered some time in the future.
Well almost there!
"Okay people final checklist!
Do we have ...
Guns that look so heavy you should fall over trying to pick one up.
Assorted swords knifes and artifacts techno and magical.
Wizards. Dragons. Witches.
A half horse and a Horde of Lost girls.
People from Pasadena for technical and other support.
Dodos and a whole family of people comfortable with the idea of them being fictional and real at the same time.
A vortex manipulator adjusted to fit a Dachshund.
Londons finest Immigrant Taxi driver and his cyborg wife.
Space people and ..."
"Oi oi oy am I too late?" shouted a ginger headed woman leaping out of a car driven by her grandfather.
Yes gentle readers due to the cosmic crisis a certain ginger Donna's not dim any more and can be doctorish without her brain exploding.
The Doctorish Donna has returned!
"Do we have a battle plan though?" asked a character,"we're out gunned out powered and outnumbered by villianry and henchfolk?"
"We're the heroes restoring balance to the multiverse of course we win!" barked sassy confidently.
Another character made a dark inquiry.
"Don't these cosmic resets usually require a tragic sacrifice or great loss of some one?"
"You'ld be surprised what you can lose and still survive and love," responded Fluvia somewhat grimly.
JonaHexed looked at fluvia and asked,
"There's this rumor you're been talking to your future self ..."
"Oh that rumor that my future self gets uploaded into a planet sized AI and that with that much power I could maybe transcend time and space ... just a rumor!" smirked Fluvia.
(Scribal note you have figured out who fluvia is by now gentle readers?)
"Yes well do we have a battle plan?"
"Teamwork just like in WOW!" shouted one of the People from Pasadena.
"Seriously we need a plan!"
"Okay" stated D.E.M. "We go to the Node kick butt majorly and sieze control of the Node and put everything back the way it was!"
"We could make things better?" some one asked wistfully.
"lets just finish loading and up up and away!" barked Sassy.
Gentle readers if you've dropped in the Node is one of those places outside our universe from which one can access and even alter several parts of the Multiverse. The technology or device for doing this is called a Cintamani in Sanksrit. Think Wishing Jewel Psionic Amplifier Laran Stone Infinity Gem Cosmic Crystal Cubic thingies ... getting the idea?
A leading Villian Mr L tired of all the endless reality resets along with a few dozen of his friends and frenemies and allies has over run the Node and made a wish that caused realities and fictionalities to converge with our reality.
Sitcom characters and superheroes and a few antiheroic types who normally deal with these crises this time are aware they have artists and authors and are harassing their creators instead of trying to fix the crisis.
Example this battle via Skype.
Two familiar faces of consulting detectives are screaming at each other via their computer monitors
"I'm the REAL Sher ...
Meanwhile in the background two Doctors with the same family name but differing ethncities are conversing via their mobiles
"Sooo in this new reality we have the same great grand parent and one of his children went to Hong Kong and the other stayed in Britain and ..."
Who's left to fix things ? Sassy a sentient dachshund and Goldie a Dragonoid and an assortment of characters.
Lady Zen Shipper took off from Respite Street heading for a battle even more deadly than that between two massive yet immature egos with giant intellects and an emotional age not particularly adult.
The Node seemed curiously empty. Lady Zen landed facing the Cintamani Shrine which seemed to rise unguarded from a field of grass like growths surrounded by a forest of trees.
There was however a large slab of crystal nearby displaying a map of the current configuration of the Node.
Princess Amy of the Apes was Invisible again and wandered over to the crystal. She touched it just to see what would happen and a path appeared in red from the Node to a spot marked Gate Control and Your true love is here!"
Amy of the Apes briefly shifted into Princess Mode,became visible, picked up her skirts and begun to ran. The Pasadena People followed her.
"Hey wait you're our tech support don't run off!" screamed Jonahexed.
And that of course was when the giant robots appeared.
Sentinels Battle Suits Iron Giants Computos dropped their cloaking fileds and moved to surround Lady Zen Shipper. Evil cyborgs droids robots nanoswarms and other synthetic beings raced towards them.
The Wizards of London raised a shield over our valiant minority.
Then to add to their problems several infamous sorcerers necromancers wizards dark mages and wicked witches along with their minions familiars and pet demons and monsters joined the forces arrayed against them.
"Come moving forward everyone!" shouted DEM slashing at a tentacled montrosity while JonaHexed blasted a group of minor rock demons with fragmentation rounds and Fluvia fired her guns. The equine person was using a vintage machine pistol. The Lost Girls were using swords nunchakus, and winsomely sweet innocent smiles that caused several people to have to stop and throw up. The dodos were running around in chaotic circles plocking and confusing the villians who couldn't decide each one to shoot first. The people from Swindon employed a wide variety of weaponry they'd collected over the years and then ... it happened.
Goldie raced ahead on her rocket sled beyond the wizards' shields just as a giant robot foot slammed to the ground.
There was a large deep footprint and no sign of the Goullawk.
"Keep moving!" shrieked DEM grabbing Sassy by her collar as she tried to reach the hole in the ground.
To be continued.
Do Goullawks really have a high body density best compared to rubber?
Will Amy of the Apes find her lost love and receive true Love's kiss.
Where are those backup dragons?
And why haven't the forces of Teckelstein arrived yet?
Questions to be answered some time in the future.
Wednesday, 6 March 2013
A Really Long List
A Really Long List and Slighter longer than usual Chapter Too
Sassy and Goldie were surrounded by the Lost girls and Goldie whispered to her.
"question we had to look for a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara and look for girls listed on the back of your future self note right? so how many girls do we need? ?"
"Let me look at that list again .." whispered Sassy back.
Sassy looked up at Fluvia who had the list tucked into her belt.
"Fluvia we need to double check the list.
Sassy frowned as she squinted at it. Dachshund eyes weren't the best at reading print.
"Yes it definitely says a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara."
"SO it could also been any of the lost girls here?" pointed out Fluvia.
"So we just take as many of them as want to come with us?" pondered Sassy.
"if we can get them to stop playing with Goldie." stated Fluvia studying the Goullawk who in the few seconds they'd stopped looking at her to read the list had flumped over to a water slide and was shrieking gleefully as she was pushed down it by a gang of small girls.
Fluvia took another look at the list and asked Sassy,
"Whoever wrote on the back of this wasn't me and managed to crowd a really long list onto the back of this note. Are we going to be able to find and recruit all these people over the next day and get back to the Node?"
"Who's still on the list? Let's see ... mmm why does Number Five say Watch out for people who look like two middle aged hikers with English accents and a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara. Together?"
"Oh that!" said Fluvia,"that's not my handwriting either but it looks like someone was just trying to fit everything on one side of the page. Look the and is & an ampersand to save space or is it a blurred six?"
"Er Fluvia if you didn't write this for me who did?" asked Sassy.
"That hand writing looks vaguely familiar ..." murmured fluvia.
"mmm can I interrupt?" asked Lena, "I was almost going to be called Tara as a middle name in one of my previous appearances."
"oh ooo, you poor child!" exclaimed fluvia, "that means you're a pivotal plot device or destiny point some time in the future."
"Probably confronting my brother slash father slash nearest male relative..." whispered Lena sadly, "I've been good and ashamed and sad and I've been bad and treacherous yet obedient and mad and now I'm a Lost girl but I wish I was a real girl! I want to go shopping and eat ice cream that does not taste like clouds or candy and share a packet of fish and chips walking along a beach and ... and ... have a boyfriend!" she sobbed. Several of the other Lost Girls nearby begun to cry too.
Donna glared at them.
"All right I'll see if I cam remember my armor into existence!
But when this is over I'm back here. I had a life and lost it over and over again pulled in an dout of various realities and then discarded tossed aside like a broken puppet."
Back in one of those realities intresting events were taking place on a certain farm in the Mid West as some one's current girl friend had brought her mother along for afternoon tea and coffee but someone's on and off spuse lover and girl friend was there too. Some one was out in the barn feeding the horses carrots cringing as the females in his extended family held a meeting. He thought he had heard the word with his super hearing polyamory being used inside the house.
Elsewhere the chaos grew worse as various dreamings alternate realities and parallel universes continued to merge together. Nantucket island had a rainbow dome forming over it echoing a fictional event.
A megalomanic wearing Norman armor was leading a charge of knights through the streets of Portland.
A large floating rock with a city on top of it was manifesting over the corn fields of Oklahoma.
Lord Greystoke had announced he was running in the Kenyan elections.
Australia's forests and rivers now really did have dropbears and bunyips to the dismay of tourists and locals harassed by yowies who were begging for junk food and sweets.
A certain local actor nearly had a heart attack when his most famous character appeared and approached him in his favorite lunch spot loudly shrieking "Hello Possum!"
All this converging stress though was causing dormant volcanoes to show signs of erupting and causing out of season snow storms tornadoes hurricanes flooding and wild fires. This of course was keeping all the fictional heroes who had suddenly become real so busy helping or avoiding police fans and journalists that they had no time to arrange the usual problem solving grand on masse meeting.
Evil also had a long list of people. People to do things to.
In an palazzo converted to holiday apartments in Venice a couple was breakfasting on a garden terrace. Slinky and Batsy has spent the last two days with the radio and tv turned off and unplugged and their phones and other tech toys locked in a safe. The only phone in the room was for room service. Newspaper deliveries had been cancelled. They were currently sharing a croissant and other breakfast pastries and were dressed for working on their tans and each other.
This happy state of affairs of course could not last along and just as they finished breakfast and started other activities the downdraft from a descending helicopter interrupted them. A woman slide down a rope from it onto the terrace. Batsy shuddered. It was the mother of his brat.
"Ta tah ah mmm what are you doing here?" asked Batsy. Slinky narrowed here eyes and hissed at her.
The Ghoul's Daughter merely smiled at them and stood there for a moment doing a sphinx impression.
Then she passed over a phone.
"Read your voice mail."
"Hello Master Batsy. We have a Red Sky Falling situation again and this time I was trapped in Teckelstein so I could not get in touch with you earlier. I can't get back to the Batcave."
"By the way," added The ghoul's Daughter," I also told the paparazzi you were in this hotel."
For a brief few seconds Batsy and Slinky looked like they wanted to cry or scream or smash something then they glared at and stomped back into the apartment to pack.
Vacation time was definitely over.
A Really Long List and Slighter longer than usual Chapter Too
Sassy and Goldie were surrounded by the Lost girls and Goldie whispered to her.
"question we had to look for a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara and look for girls listed on the back of your future self note right? so how many girls do we need? ?"
"Let me look at that list again .." whispered Sassy back.
Sassy looked up at Fluvia who had the list tucked into her belt.
"Fluvia we need to double check the list.
Sassy frowned as she squinted at it. Dachshund eyes weren't the best at reading print.
"Yes it definitely says a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara."
"SO it could also been any of the lost girls here?" pointed out Fluvia.
"So we just take as many of them as want to come with us?" pondered Sassy.
"if we can get them to stop playing with Goldie." stated Fluvia studying the Goullawk who in the few seconds they'd stopped looking at her to read the list had flumped over to a water slide and was shrieking gleefully as she was pushed down it by a gang of small girls.
Fluvia took another look at the list and asked Sassy,
"Whoever wrote on the back of this wasn't me and managed to crowd a really long list onto the back of this note. Are we going to be able to find and recruit all these people over the next day and get back to the Node?"
"Who's still on the list? Let's see ... mmm why does Number Five say Watch out for people who look like two middle aged hikers with English accents and a teenaged girl who isn't called Tara. Together?"
"Oh that!" said Fluvia,"that's not my handwriting either but it looks like someone was just trying to fit everything on one side of the page. Look the and is & an ampersand to save space or is it a blurred six?"
"Er Fluvia if you didn't write this for me who did?" asked Sassy.
"That hand writing looks vaguely familiar ..." murmured fluvia.
"mmm can I interrupt?" asked Lena, "I was almost going to be called Tara as a middle name in one of my previous appearances."
"oh ooo, you poor child!" exclaimed fluvia, "that means you're a pivotal plot device or destiny point some time in the future."
"Probably confronting my brother slash father slash nearest male relative..." whispered Lena sadly, "I've been good and ashamed and sad and I've been bad and treacherous yet obedient and mad and now I'm a Lost girl but I wish I was a real girl! I want to go shopping and eat ice cream that does not taste like clouds or candy and share a packet of fish and chips walking along a beach and ... and ... have a boyfriend!" she sobbed. Several of the other Lost Girls nearby begun to cry too.
Donna glared at them.
"All right I'll see if I cam remember my armor into existence!
But when this is over I'm back here. I had a life and lost it over and over again pulled in an dout of various realities and then discarded tossed aside like a broken puppet."
Back in one of those realities intresting events were taking place on a certain farm in the Mid West as some one's current girl friend had brought her mother along for afternoon tea and coffee but someone's on and off spuse lover and girl friend was there too. Some one was out in the barn feeding the horses carrots cringing as the females in his extended family held a meeting. He thought he had heard the word with his super hearing polyamory being used inside the house.
Elsewhere the chaos grew worse as various dreamings alternate realities and parallel universes continued to merge together. Nantucket island had a rainbow dome forming over it echoing a fictional event.
A megalomanic wearing Norman armor was leading a charge of knights through the streets of Portland.
A large floating rock with a city on top of it was manifesting over the corn fields of Oklahoma.
Lord Greystoke had announced he was running in the Kenyan elections.
Australia's forests and rivers now really did have dropbears and bunyips to the dismay of tourists and locals harassed by yowies who were begging for junk food and sweets.
A certain local actor nearly had a heart attack when his most famous character appeared and approached him in his favorite lunch spot loudly shrieking "Hello Possum!"
All this converging stress though was causing dormant volcanoes to show signs of erupting and causing out of season snow storms tornadoes hurricanes flooding and wild fires. This of course was keeping all the fictional heroes who had suddenly become real so busy helping or avoiding police fans and journalists that they had no time to arrange the usual problem solving grand on masse meeting.
Evil also had a long list of people. People to do things to.
In an palazzo converted to holiday apartments in Venice a couple was breakfasting on a garden terrace. Slinky and Batsy has spent the last two days with the radio and tv turned off and unplugged and their phones and other tech toys locked in a safe. The only phone in the room was for room service. Newspaper deliveries had been cancelled. They were currently sharing a croissant and other breakfast pastries and were dressed for working on their tans and each other.
This happy state of affairs of course could not last along and just as they finished breakfast and started other activities the downdraft from a descending helicopter interrupted them. A woman slide down a rope from it onto the terrace. Batsy shuddered. It was the mother of his brat.
"Ta tah ah mmm what are you doing here?" asked Batsy. Slinky narrowed here eyes and hissed at her.
The Ghoul's Daughter merely smiled at them and stood there for a moment doing a sphinx impression.
Then she passed over a phone.
"Read your voice mail."
"Hello Master Batsy. We have a Red Sky Falling situation again and this time I was trapped in Teckelstein so I could not get in touch with you earlier. I can't get back to the Batcave."
"By the way," added The ghoul's Daughter," I also told the paparazzi you were in this hotel."
For a brief few seconds Batsy and Slinky looked like they wanted to cry or scream or smash something then they glared at and stomped back into the apartment to pack.
Vacation time was definitely over.
Monday, 29 October 2012
Century31
(Okay its very short but ...)
Century31
A millenium more or less up the time stream two blonde humanoids were studying
a temporal flux monitor.
"What are they doing downtime! Another Crisis! Again!" exclaimed the one with
a very high IQ and green skin.
The other blonde in the room leaned provocatively across the console blocking
his view of the monitor.
"Let's discuss other problems!"
She seized the edge of his lab coat and suddenly snarled
"Why is it taking so long for my toyboy to get back to top from!
Have you been spiking his meds or something!?
and he still has this strange craving for twentieth century toxins ...things
called Bimacs and Hodawgs!"
Just then fortunately for our lime jello colored genius several alarms went
off at once.
The irate blond female shuddered and shrieked " ... but bu u I didnt get any
precog flash and I should have if that many things happened at once!"
But at the Node certain villians sniggered in delight as the consequences of
worlds fusing spread uptime and their henchmen attacked the mother city of the
future.
Century31
A millenium more or less up the time stream two blonde humanoids were studying
a temporal flux monitor.
"What are they doing downtime! Another Crisis! Again!" exclaimed the one with
a very high IQ and green skin.
The other blonde in the room leaned provocatively across the console blocking
his view of the monitor.
"Let's discuss other problems!"
She seized the edge of his lab coat and suddenly snarled
"Why is it taking so long for my toyboy to get back to top from!
Have you been spiking his meds or something!?
and he still has this strange craving for twentieth century toxins ...things
called Bimacs and Hodawgs!"
Just then fortunately for our lime jello colored genius several alarms went
off at once.
The irate blond female shuddered and shrieked " ... but bu u I didnt get any
precog flash and I should have if that many things happened at once!"
But at the Node certain villians sniggered in delight as the consequences of
worlds fusing spread uptime and their henchmen attacked the mother city of the
future.
Sunday, 12 August 2012
More Doctors
More Doctors
Univeres are coalescing and turning into strange vast congeries.
Most of the people who are supposedly to be responsible for stopping this sort of thing are captive at the Node.
So who do you turn to?
On a remote planet on a semitropical island of the sort that really has fruit trees and nit just coconut palms someone had a hammock strung between two trees safely above the high tide line and was sipping a fruity kind of drink while nearby a blue object was catching the sun.
The blue object suddenly started humming like a beeswarm about to attackthen a small object came hurtling out of the skies and hovered between the blue object and the sunbather.
"Hello a message box!" exclaimed the sunbather, "For me!"
The box opened and shrieked on sonic and psionic frequencies.
"ANSWER YOUR PHONE AND CHECK YOUR VOICE MAIL NOW!"
"Bother ... ah well rarely a dull moment hey old girl!?" observed the sunbather while sauntering over and into the blue object.
"What's this I have 3000 messages?"
"Doctor Universes are colliding again! I have Albert Campion and Lord Peter Wimsey in my office and Biggles and most of John Buchan's characters and Lord Greystoke and ..."
"and Winnie's office isn't that large.." mused the person with several hundred doctorates. "hello here's one from ...when did or will I give my phone number to a Henry McCoy, a Dr. Nemesis, and a Dr. Richards?
Also I have messages from a Dr. Savage, the U.N., and oh no! FLUVIA!"
"Hello Sweetie Don't pick me up tonight and maybe tomorrow night too! I'm having a girls' night with guess who? We're shopping for a Vortex Manipulator! "
"Girls? Girls!" shrieked yet another doctor, "which girls?
No NO ... couldn't be... not those girls?"
Across the universe other doctors were panicking!
to be continued sooner or later sooner if I start getting more followers or my late winter pollen allergy attack clears up soonest!?
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