Duckponds and Doctors

Duck Ponds and Doctors

While Goldie was motivating her fellow dragonoids Lady Zen Shipper was landing with a loud splash in a duck pond, of the sort that could been found in any neglected English Mid counties village lacking tourist attractions and bypassed by the new roadway or possibly somewhere completely different as there was smoke coming up from a working forge and from a nearby school people were chanting the letters of the ABC and it wasn't the Roman one.

Sassy exited Lady Zen shipper and trotted across the boarding ramp watched by some very irate geese and ducks complaining because they had just lost half the water in their pond and a few startled villagers who were much less noisier. One of the more sensible villagers was running up to the local castle. Sassy headed for the village school as her sensible canid hearing had recognized the distinctive tones of a certain voice.

"Very good class! Now we'll move on to revising Signs of Demonic Possession and Basic Gnomish. Don't forget after lunch a trip uphill to watch the testing of the latest defense automaton!"

"Can they do that without you? We need you elsewhere!" asked Sassy.

The teacher dressed with surprising elegance and refinement for a small village in black silk robes with silver jewellery looked at Sassy glanced  out the window at Lady Zen Shipper currently posing as a statue amidst the pond and then leapt out thru the open window changing mid leap into a black and silver dragon taking flight towards the castle. Sassy trotted after him.

Meanwhile back in HerInside's parlor Dr. A was watching the TV with increasing dismay as update after update confirmed his fears. Case Red Sky Falling was causing alternate realities and functionalites to fuse.
Also Young Robert had rung and announced since the situation was a Case Red Sky Falling and NOt Bad Lovecraftian Emerald Dream he and his wife were going to "do something safe and normal, the washing, a picnic, a sleep-in whatever, or maybe something sensible like catch a train to Edinburgh and have a talk with our author..."

On the TV screen an announcer was introducing a face Young Robert might have recognised but not Dr. A.

"" and live from Pasadena to explain the physics behnd universes merging is Dr Leon Ho..."
"Hey before we start I'ld like to ask if anyone has seen this missing person seen walking off with a group of people wearing black shouting out "Me join the Masters of the universe and NOT Wil Wheaton! Thank you hypothetical Deity!"

Yes gentle readers a certain person with a doctorate from Texas has escaped the Village and is wearing black.

At the Castle gates Sassy was barking for attention.

"MrBlackandSilver I know you're in there! Please come out we need you.
I need you. You're on my list. Not the list of potential dates for Goldie."

"Go away. No one's home. They just left on a quest!"

"What quest?" demanded Sassy.

"A quest to successfully visit the capital city and do some shopping  without getting involved in royal politicking or offending any priests or discovering any demonic manifestations or whatever!"

"Ask the resident witch what Red Sky Falling means," replied Sassy.

There was a brief silence then the gates opened and a reluctant trio came out, the shapeshifting dragon, a witch, and a man wearing reading glasses and a sword along with a tool bag on the  war belt.

"Does our author know you're here ... AGAIN?!" queried one of them.

"NO and I don't think she'll find out. Dr. January is not on my list." replied Sassy," Oh come on don't dawdle. You're between books or after a series anyway and we have to save the multiverse really soon!"

Meanwhile back in New York certain editors' worse nightmares had occurred. They had been cornered in their offices by a famous feline felon and a fearless female investigative reporter who wanted something done about their relationships.

"He finally told me he loved me and you B@#$%^&* reset the Demented Continuum," shrieked one while waving a whip, "and then you catered to the fanboys with that roof top scene. A third female standing outside the door threw a knife to the reporter who called out "Thanks!" and then pointed the knife at the petite brunette standing in the corridor next to two very tall striking redheads and begun ranting,
"You let them get married and me you keep waiting for DECADES and then finally I get my gorgeous combo of sincere loving smalltown boy and powerful alpha male alien and you You YOU ...."

The rest had be censored. I'm sure female readers can guess what would happen if SK and LL could get their hands on certain people.

Sassy however was busy. She had a Doctor to pick up! a doctor of archaeology called ... Fluvia Canta.

Technically Fluvia was custody. Fluvia who had several other names teasingly preferred to it as protective custody as not only did she have a spouse with a travelling device but some very special girlfriends to go shopping with, namely Sassy and Goldie.

Lady Zen Shipper appeared in the corridor outside of Fluvia's cell NS  young guard whimpered. "Nnononon not again," and didn't even bother trying for the phone. Sassy calmly walked over to the door of the cell and barked out a request,

"Darling know where I could find a Doctor of Archaeology who might know where I get a Vortex manipulator ?"

fluvia smiled and the lights went out.

The lights quickly came back on showing an empty corriodr and cell and the guard sighed and then cheered up thinking "oh well if she's away along enuff I can have her desert! Its Martian Apple Pie night!"

to be continued sooner or later

LONDON CALLING!

Transdimensional devices can be larger inside than outside.

And also have doors that change size when you really need to move!.

A useful feature indeed when you have a human a dachshund and a motor bike with a side car plus a bundled up goullawk all trying to get thru a door as quickly as possible while the henchfolk outside are aiming weapons at them.

Inside at the front of the cab where the driver's seat should be was the mobile casing for a mutant cyborg.
 A sign hanging down from the ceiling advised passengers.

"DO NOT BE ALARMED!
YOUR DRIVER IS CALLED REG
(ALMOST) THE LAST DAWLLAWK
NOT A DA#$%!
REALLY!"

The driver turned an optical sensor towards his passengers in the back seat.

"SO ladies and gentlebeings where to?
I was heading home for afternoon tea myself!
HerInside is making Devonshire Tea !
Care to join us in a restorative cup?."

The passengers barked assented and in the case of a still muzzled Goldie mumbled thru McGyver standard duct tape as Reg deftly considering he only apparently had one external digit hit the accelerator triggered the inertial dampers and the cab took off through the skies heading eastwards at near light speed.

They passed a couple of UFOS three black ops sleath aircraft and a time bubble with some teenagers in it as they crossed the Atlantic Ocean and then veered south and moved to a lower altitude to avoid the temporal anomalies and stray pterodactyls near Cardiff.

Reg took the scenic route over the Weald and then circled up towards the Thames and descended to a quiet suburban street in Eastern London.

As they climbed out of the taxi onto the pavement a woman with a pram waved at them.

"'Ello Reg 'Avin' a good day!"

"The best!"
chortled Reg gliding towards his front door past a shrubbery of plants neatly trimmed into robot shapes.
 The door had a knocker featuring the head of the famous fembot from Metropolis.

"Cosplay excuse still working Reg?" asked Sassy.

"Well that, and half the residents on this street being werewolves, vampires, refugees from cancelled series, escapees or holiday rentals from book realms, and the perceptual filter fractals hidden in the paintwork, that  Dr A designed for us."

Reg called out to his spouse as his passengers sat down in the front parlour.

"Sweet silver and sugar your spice pot is home!"

"Tea's just reached the perfect pouring temperature dearest!
I've have the tea trolley there in a minute!
Did I hear Sassy come in with you?"

A tall slender being with a skin of flexible metallic silver mixed with armor and wearing a frilly apron, pushed a trolley loaded with a basket lined with a linen tea towel to keep scones warm, a English creamware teapot with steam rising from its spout, and a small bowl of strawberry conserve, into the room.

(Real strawberry conserve not some vaguely fruity gelatine pretending to be jam)

"Hello darlings you haven't dropped in on us for ages!"

Jonahexed was still trying to untape and tie Goldie.

HerInside glanced at this.

"I'lll just go and get my scissors and the Stanley knife shall I so Goldie can join us and some extra straws, yes?"

"That's my very practical darling!" stated Reg proudly.

A shirt while later after some lovely scissor work by HerInside Goldie and Reg were sipping tea thru straws into their orifices, Sassy was licking cream and jam off a scone, and Jonahexed was sticking out one finger at a time trying to remember which one you kept straight while drinking tea.

"Well ladies and friends why were people shooting at you this time?" asked Reg.

Jonahexed opened his mouth ready to go to explanatory mode but Sassy barked first.

"You know that node where ALL well nearly ALL the various Time patrols Agencies and Temporal Bureaus have offices well its been overrun by villains from their own universes and others, ALL of them at once! They're having a massive crossover collision crisis!
The oddest thing though," continued Sassy, "well I saw myself and she told me not to come back for three days?"

"UM" muttered Reg thoughtfully, "now the other day I was in one of the Book Realms picking up a fare and the passengers were talking about how a reset takes three days and they were going towards a node?!"

"So?" asked JonaHexed, " do we go back one day or forward two and half or what?

When exactly did they reset the node to lower the quantum thresholds between realities?"

"Who cares! I need someone to massage salve into the marks the duct tape left!" hissed Goldie.

"Then SO," continued JonaHexed who had a great fondness for  conjunctions , "are we going to do some sensible planning and get some expert advice or go looking for trouble?"

"Reg can you take us to the node?" asked Sassy.

JonaHexed moaned and HerInside thoughtfully passed him another scone and returned to the kitchen, calling out as she went,

"I'll just pack some lunches for you then!"

Later after they left Her Indoors with equal thoughtfulness and concern rang a London phone number, which was a direct line to the office of  the deeply scary sorcerer called Dr A******* .

(Yes an office which probably has a nickname starting with L. Probably?)

Join us later this week or next week for the the next part which I haven't even thought of a name of yet!

and think about using that paypal tip jar I have a birthday coming up!

Meanwhile in Teckelstein

Meanwhile in usually beautiful scenic Teckelstein the residents were not happy.

There was a howling blizzard on what should have been a lovely summer day.

There was none of the usual tourist trade from other realms and worst of all A.F. Teckelstein First Minister for just about Everything not had his morning saucer of hot chocolate milk.

A. F. was a magnificent example of European standard hunting Teckel with black and tan coloring and an tail best described as an elegant calligraphic whip wearing a monocle with a jewelled rim.

He was yelling at a speakerphone on his desk.

"What do you mean half the High Council disappeared and most of the rest can't make it through the storm.
Get some one with weather powers to make a tunnel or something.
Where's Leo or Mark?
Trapped in Chez Alfred?
Mark's wand isnt working and neither is Leo's gun?
The sky shield is cracking?
Yes I noticed that thank you!
Don't make me come down there and fix things myself!
And where are Sassy and Goldie?
Well them outside of the realm is always a mixed blessing.
We have more important problems!? Oh really!?
The first Dragon is what ... !!!
Oh Lieber Gott!"

A.F. walked away from the phone over to the windows.

A large statue of what appeared to be a warrior from the early Middle Ages wearing chain mail was acquiring icicles down in the courtyard.

Unfortunately the scales were dragon skin and the First Dragon had clearly had his shapeshifting abilities blocked half way during a change from his favorite human form to his full dragonish splendour.

"Okay now things are getting serious indeed" muttered A. F.

"Someone find my snowshoes" he barked in an imperative baritone.

Over in Chez Alfred unhappy customers were huddled around a fireplace fending off frost bite with mugs of hot chocolate or coffee or odder drinks. At a table nearby a man wearing a hood and a mask was glaring through snow googles at the innards of a gun and another was staring despairingly at a wand while a third was watching the mouth of a flame thrower that was thoroughly unfunctional.

"How the @#@$#%@@@4 can the laws of physics and magic be NOT working at the same @#@@#%$$ time?"

asked the man trying to fix his gun.

"Hey that was not a hypothetical science boys!" he snarled at the group near the fireplace.

"Dramatic cliches still work!" cried a phantom like stranger as he successfully forced the front door open.

"Whaaa that's not right you're not written to slam doors open!"

"Which means" declaimed the phantom like stranger in disconcertingly cheerful tones that were even more out of character for him, " some badass capitalist running dog imperialist overlord be doin' some heavy duty messin' with reality."

Everyone in the Chez Alfred stared at him ...

Several persons jaws almost dislocated as the phantom like stranger proceeded to do a rap routine.

This was disrupted by an anguished scream from the kitchen from the owner chef.

"Nooo the oven's stopped and I had souffle rising!"

Someone screamed "Its the end of the world!"

Others ran out into the storm preferring the risk of hypothermia to an irate chef.

A few more compassionate souls ventured into the kitchen to comfort the chef a distinguished and former British Intelligence agent.

(No not the double zero and a seven one. The one who works as a substitute parent for a family of neurotic bat theme obsessed acrobatic crime fighters)

"Yeah but what's happening outside our world?" asked a more or less mad scientist thoughtfully who was a refugee from Black Dragon spell it like the Tea Island.


Next time "Yes it's a trap Goldie!"