Milk and cookies and guns and goullawks

Milk and cookies


   . . .  and guns and goullawks

Sassy and Goldie had taken Lori Zee$%^&N back to Lady Zen Shipper and Fluvia Canta  was pouring Tea for all of them. Lori spotted the gun holstered to Fluvia's hip and asked about it.

"You have a gun?"

"Yes and it's dual action projectiles and energy beams!"

Fluvia pulled it out of her holster and placed it on the table.

" ... and it was hand crafted by ..." she paused to swat Goldie away from it. The Goullawk had been eyeing it with an acquisitive look and was slowly reaching towards it finger claws opening to grab it.

"You KNOW why you're not allowed near guns ...hand guns pistols rifles semi- automatics machine guns cannonry death rays ... and especially MY GUN!" scolded Fluvia picking it up.

Lori looked at both of them.

The goullawk was muttering to herself " ... but its shiny and pearly on the handles and blingy and ..."

"Is there a story? " asked Lori," and havnt I seen you on TV or somewhere with a different name?"

"Hush darling SPOILERS so hush and I'll tell you a story that demonstrated why responsible adults ONLY should have weapon licences and weapons should be in safe places when they're not in use.

"SHINY!" protested the Goullawk overwhelmed with dragonish instincts.

Fluvia holstered her gun reclined backwards with her cup of tea and begun the story in between elegant sips from her tea cup.

"Once upon a time I went to a gun show looking for something rumored to be a weapon from a lost and legendary world hoping those rumors might attract the attention of a very special GOOD MAN. This weapon was going to be auctioned or maybe stolen and legend had it that what it projected was a field that caused localized temporal flux effects. You could age or rejuvenate an object or person or speed up some thing slowing down or vice versa for a brief while."

"Was that when you met a very good doctor person who likes bow ties?" asked Sassy.

Lori was slowly working it out ... " time ... weapons ... good man ... doctor ... hey Fluvia's Latin for ..."

(Scribal Note What a pity so few judging from the visitor stats Whovians learn Latin?)

"Yes dear but tell me continue the story.

" A.F. Von Teckelstein was there too looking for weapons modified to be used by people who have paws and no opposable thumbs and he had brought along Sassy and Goldie to keep them out of trouble. I heard this gorgeous baritone voice saying

"Now you two will please stay here at the eatery and have that plate of cookies and biscuits and bowl of chocolate milk while I finish my transaction with the craftspersons ja!?"

I looked behind me and there was my dear friends Sassy and Goldie and .."

You disobeyed this A.F guy and went shopping?" interrupted Lori.

"No we were not misbehaving just sitting there quietly  eating drinking and gossipping when an alarm went off and we saw security run past and heard a canid life form growling. So we followed that sound and the security people.

The growling was being done by the DREADWOLVES from the Planet with Three and a Half Moons who looked like wolves standing on their hind legs but with really badly groomed fur and weapons holsters around their torsos and cyborg attachments in odd places not just over eyes and ears but lower down and ... and ... a tap where his ...er never mind ... they had taken hostages in the auction area and were demanding the time gun be given to them..."

"And they were holding my Uncle by his neck! He had tried to leapt up and attack them but they are very fast and grabbed him mid leap but he was still growling at them..." interrupted Sassy, "so I valiantly leaped into the fray and bite one of them and he kicked me and I landed ..."

"right next to the modified weapons A.F. had been trying to purchase whose display area was right next to the auction area, " continued Fluvia, " and Goldie flumped over to you looked around and saw the signs labelling the weapons.

"Which was Child Safe Voice Activated AI controlled Ethical Weaponry!" recalled Goldie gleefully.

"So what happened?" asked Lori.

"Someone" stated Fluvia, "decided to test that and we couldn't grab her in time. Sassy was concussed and I couldn't get past the security people!"

"It was awesome. They had an operator protective shield and I got up onto the control panel and activated it and quickly read the instructions and selected the EMERGENCY RANDOM FIRING PATTERN OPTION!"

The manufacturers claimed it was totally safe when operated by an responsible trained adult sentient and couldn't be used to hurt civilians and non combatants but some people ..." Fluvia stopped and looked at Goldie.

What had actually happened was that the AI ran an user authorization sequence.

"Query sentient adult?
Query legal ownership?
Query criminal record?
Query accept legal liability for all damages?"

Goldie of course answered YES to all the questions and selected the ERFPO and then a further option,

"MAXIMIZE FIRE POWER" "Thats what I yelled cried Goldie.

"The results," stated Fluvia resuming her narration, "were rockets and missiles and flares and flame throwers and stun rays and tranquillizer darts and absolute chaos and confusion for the next five minutes. No sentients were harmed tho some were slightly damaged and singed but lets just say that conference hall took some serious damage along with most of the weapons on display and then there was the damages and then after you got down off the weapon control you had accidentally blasted the display case for the time gun open and you rejuvenated the Dreadwolves and half the sales staff and there was a gun fight and more damage and eventually ... you're banned from using guns dear." finished Fluvia.

"But they made lots of lovely noise and they're shiny and things boom and I could learn to shoot straight!" wailed Goldie.

"Uncle A.F. had to use ALL his credit cards, the Bank of Dale, and the psychic paper one, and the Bank of Michel Delving, and we actually ran low on chocolate and other supplies to pay them all off and uncle was VERY VERY VERY unhappy!" stated Sassy.

"I had to sell off most of my hoard and jewellery and pearls and my golden Smaug collectible to pay off the damages for trying to be a hero!" wailed Goldie.

And that gentle readers is why the girls do not use guns and probably why you shouldn't either whether you want to use them for target shooting or to make a big noise or try to be a hero because even sentient sensible adults can have trouble with them and its usually them who have to fix the damage other people make.

Weaponry and Goullawks do not go well together as just as many dachshunds especially Teckelsteiners don't understand the meaning of fear Goullawks have trouble with the concept of concept and knowing when to hit the stop button.

So how are our girls going to stop evil dudes who love weaponry?

Hey this is a serial! I'm not telling you yet!

Let there be Ba#$

Let There be Ba#$s!

"So why do we need the boys to build a transstellar transport device that generates wormholes," asked JonaHexed, who hadn't been allowed to read the list yet?

"Something happens to Reg's Taxi but that's not for another hour," answered Sassy.

"But we have Lady Zen Shipper?" stated Jonahexed.

"Apparently building the gate allows a lost and forgotten character to return."

"So who's next," asked Fluvia, leaning closer to read down the list which Goldie was holding up in her mouth for Sassy to read," THEM? the little blue pests!"

No Dear Readers not the ones starting with S.

Meanwhile a memorial statue of a fuzzy elfish being in San Francisco was  surrounded by a horde or swarm of small blue beings all wailing,

"They killed Daddy B@#f! They killed Papa B@#f!"

"And Hewlett finally caught the last of us and banned us from the school grounds!" bewailed another holding an empty whiskey bottle.

Lady Zen Shipper appeared next to the normally invisible yet oddly never a hazard to aircraft or avians giant comatose alien.

"Look!" squealed one of the smarter Ba#$fs who instead of crying had been panhandling from tourists, "its the Dragon Queen and the Time Lady and the Teckel Princess!"


The Ba#$ stopped crying and swarmed over to the Girls.

"Hello boys!" barked Sassy, "wanna a job!"

To be continued in the usual erratic manner.

Wimbly Time

Ever wondered why a certain subset of linked universes and timelines has been beset by continual reality resets over the last few decades? READ THIS!?


Timelines wimble and Wobble and why!

Reg and company had an easy journey back to the Node apart from having to steer

around some cosmozooans and stopping to give a star whale directions.

The parking area at the node was curiously empty expect for one small figure, a

cylindrically orientated canid with short legs and red scorched fur on one side

that had been burnt very recently.

"Oh dear that's me again!" yelped Sassy.

"Look here I told you NOT to come back for three days well two and a bit or is

that one and a half now?
Honestly if you cant trust meself who can you?" retorted herself.

Reg made a strange wheezing noise suspicously like suppressed laughter.

JonaHexed studiously avoided eye contact with either Sassy, and Goldie blurted

out in a huff,

"Well I say, surely you can trust me ... most of the time ... if I'm not near

temptation and bling ... and then there  was that time I went shopping with

Selina ... but of course you can trust me!"

"I have to go get some rest before the climactic scene or resolution or whatever

happens next," sighed future Sassy,"Don't forget to come back and warn you and

oh temporal loop timeline tip! Grab a Vortex manipulator if you have a chance

to!"

She faded out like a Chesire Cat with one limb at a time disconcertingly slowly

dissolving.

"So what were we looking for again?" asked Goldie.

JonaHexed assumed a rhetorical position.

"Girls and gentleborg logic dictates .."

"or tyrannizes?" remarked Goldie flicking her tail flukes in a disrespectful

manner.

" a logical analysis suggests..." resumed JonaheXed glaring at the Goullawk, who

unable to resist the temptation of making a pun responded by asking him, "You

have a girl friend called Ana Lousis?"

(Scribal TIP consider theoriginal pronounciation of analysis in Greek)

JonaHexed glared at her again and continued,

 "that somehow Villians United! and gained access to the Wishing Jewel!"

"Er that is a Buddhist myth isn't it? The Cinatamani?" asked Sassy very

respectfully to soothe JonaHeXed.

"I don't speak Sanskrit..." muttered Reg, " but I take this is some kind of

crystalline based technology that converts energy to mass in response to a

psionic scan of users stationed within its receiving range?"

"Wow awesome technobabble Reg ... that .... that was a truly excellent

expository paragraph ... I think I'm just a bit jealous, " sighed JonaHexed.

"so there's this Wishing Jewel around here somewhere and the Villians probably

snuck one person in and then used it to open all the gates at once or shut down

the defences or some such thing and since they're  ..."

"still here and waiting for it to reset" stated a certain future version of

Sassy re-appearing once again with a sulphurous bamf of displaced air, "cos the

wish they made was for it to be highly improbable that anyone could help stop

them."

"oh well that's easy then," burbled Goldie, "we do stuff other people find

atonishingly improbable, or nearly impossible.."

"... and extremely annoying ..." muttered Jonahexed,

"all the time and with grace and style!

So where's this Cintamani wishy thing?" finished Goldie.

"You forgot to ask me why I need to travel back to learn you!" grumbled Future

Sassy.

Everyone shut up to politely allow for a more dramatic pause, even Goldie.

"You can only reset the Cintamani every three days and you have to offer it

something a sacrifice a soul a destiny something big and reality altering!"

Reg groaned. "One of those! Mkranky Crystals, Cosmic Cuboids, Crystal Skulls,

Grail Cups, honestly you humanoids!"

"I wonder who offered their soul?" said Jonahexed.

Flashback The Cintamani A day and a half ago.

A mysterious figure who's bald and thinks green and prple look good on power

armor ... er not so mysterious for some readers is reciting these words.

"I A@#$^&*@( L56789 of Continuum %@ offer up my soul in return for denying

access to this node and wishing jewel for three days Earth Greenwich Time

twentieth century to any being or power who can stop me re-inserting my cloneson

back into my reality on the understanding that a) whatever happens after the

three day period my clone son remains real and gets to live to a healthy old age

dying a heroic death and b) related and linked condition the first person to

make a wish after that three day period can not undo this one whatever happens

to me so may it be!"

Ah the capacity of English for recursivity!

However it didnt occur to the speaker that that meant some one who had no

interest whatsoever in whether his offspring was dead or alive could have access

or make another wish the very moment the three day period ended.

He walked off to join his villians to rounding up and confining anyone being

currnetly at the Node capable of making a better wish.

To quote a certain Gallifrey History can be rewritten


There was a sound of something grinding to a stop and then stiffly painfully

altering its course. A sound like a river flowing backwards forced into a new

course. Then a sound like a strawberry jelly wobbler quivering.

Time is wimbly!

"So why are we here if we cant change things for another day and a half and bit

?" asked Sassy.

"Cos you are going to need a lot of help to make sure one of you is first in

line to make a wish that brings Teceklstein back and fixes the mess here,

hopefully a wish that stops or limits all these annoying reality resets!"
stated Future Sassy who then disappeared again.

Jonahexed groaned quietly.

Then the giant robots appeared.

to be continued ...

A Visit to LaLaLand

A Visit to the LALA Nexus

JonaHexed was being obstinately rational.

“Look it is not logical! You cannot erase an entire pocket dimension! It might dwindle if you severed all the anchor points to cosmic resonance nodes but …”

“but someone did!” interrupted Sassy, “ … well must have … there was some really strange stuff happening as we left the node nexus thingie  … the one where the Forever Patrollers are! Giant robots and big things blundering around and those annoying Patrollers were fighting and we can’t get home!”

JonaHexed continued being obstinately explanatory,

 “… but all these are only metaphors used to describe multidimensional reality, severance is just a metaphor for a resonance change that leads to Teckelstein becoming beyond our perception or moving elsewhere or changing to a different entropic state or … we just have to find a different “string” by accessing another nexus. Which other nexus can we try? Which nexus has lots of links to other loci?” asked JonaHexed almost glaring at them.

“The one under New York Grand Central Station?” asked Goldie eagerly?

She loved the shopping opportunities in nearly every version of New York.

“We are sooo not using a nexus controlled by cats!” snapped Sassy.

“But then we could go visit that lovely version of New York,” babbled Goldie, “where those nice gargoyles live and the guardians in the pretty Art Deco building and there are urban bikie elves and shops and more shops and ”

“Goldie that’s it!” exclaimed JonaHexed, “ but not New York!
We’ll go to the LA Nexus! That’s linked to several ficitionalities, and timelines, and its multi-species controlled, and we can use the tangent of the XY co-ordinates to the geometric factor of the parallel hyberbolic …” Sassy and Goldie were spared a quantum geometry lesson by an alarm going off!

“Warning Unidentified hostile firing! Warning! Warning!” screamed Lady Zen Shipper as a missile slammed into her force fields with an impact felt throughout her whole being. JonaHeXed punched in commands for sensor display. The screen for the external sensors showed the image of a fleet of craft beginning to surround them. Those craft were bristling with weapons and launching smaller fighters. A line of text was scrolling across the screen informing them that an incoming transmission was being censored due to it being extremely vulgar and promising assaults of a personal nature. An image flashed onto the screen of a ship’s command center. Several darkly caped and sinister figures were fighting for central position in front of the camera and all were yelling, “We’re coming to get you @@#$%^^& B&&&&!”

“Wow that’s nearly every villain we’ve thwarted in the last few years on board!” observed Sassy, “including a couple of your would be girl friends JonaHexed and look there’s some of your cousins, Goldie, and oh … DARK CAPER!”

What appeared to be the empty hood of a cape the color of midnight shadows was facing the screen having pushed its way in front of the others.
A voice was booming out of it!

“I’m coming to punish you dog! I’m going to personally possess you and then I will use you to destroy every dachshund in the entire multi-verse and I will finally turn your gal pal into sashimi and then I’ll … “ someone lunged at the hood screaming, “NO it's my turn first” and another person shrieked “The Goullawk will be my trophy, stuffed and mounted and …”

“Now would be a good time to program co-ordinates for the Prime LALA Nexus,” observed JonaHexed, his fingers already dancing across the keyboard.

“Lady Zen Shipper punch us through to LA now!”

“Emergency transit authorised?” demurely asked the ship.

“Yes!!!” screamed all three of them in unison as more and more energy weapons struck at the ship’s force fields. Then they were elsewhere.

The LALA nexus should be hidden in a cavern system under the city. From those caverns tunnels lead up into its demon haunted sewers, streets, fitness centers, shops, film studios, and producers’ offices. Other tunnels lead to the main train station, the desert, and up to a certain park with misplaced Australian trees looking like they were mourning the absence of kookaburras, magpies, and cockatoos.

This is an absence for which the people of California should be eternally grateful.

Kookaburras gleefully steal from picnic tables and then sit on a nearby branch and let you watch them further tenderise your lunch.

Magpies go psycho in breeding season and become kamikaze dive-bombers.

As for cockatoos they have an interesting and literally consuming relationship with outdoors timber furniture pergolas trellis and verandas. I do mean consuming as sulphur crested cockatoos seem to believe that since we keep destroying all their hollow nesting trees the favor should be returned to our domiciles.

There was no nexus at their arrival point. Instead of columns of marble and granite and grand halls, occupied by people, who were even odder than usual by the standards of the mostly, and in some cases, only allegedly, though seemingly human, occupants of the city above, the view screens showed desert. Weeds, dust, weeds, sand, straggly plants, and more dust, weeds, and desert. There weren’t even any scenic rocks oh so familiar from various sci-fi series. There was lots of desert. There was a smoky haze in the distance that was probably the LA basin. Probably. Hopefully. There was definitely an excellent view of desert and dust and the sort of plant that only looks attractive when briefly flowering.

“That’s not good,” muttered JonaHexed, inspecting the view.

“You think?!” snapped Sassy glaring at him, “Where’s the nexus station?”

“I could have a dust bath!” gurgled Goldie with misplaced positivity!

JonaHexed spent a few minutes doing things with the comm systems and computers and then groaned and slowly lowered his head onto his arms moaning softly. Sassy gave him a moment or two to be inarticulate and then firmly head butted his rib cage. Goldie joined in playfully tail slapping him on his thigh.

“JonaHexed oh JonaH tell us what’s wrong. Please? Now?” commanded Sassy.
JonaHexed lifted his head. His face was an interesting shade of pale.

“The entire nexus station system is down. And everything else. Stone circles, gates, wormholes, transit crystals, everything, well almost everything. Anything I can get a signal from is giving off warning signs or fluctuating dangerously. The only good news that I have is that we are at least in the correct continuum but something caused us to land way out in the desert. We’re almost in Death Valley!”

“Oooh that’s not good! I’ll need sun block as well as my sunnies! And a hat. Definitely a nice hat!” gurgled Goldie who flumped off to explore her wardrobe. JonaHexed stared her with haunted eyes and muttered something about strange coping mechanisms, hedonistic narcissism, and cosmic crises.

Sassy with more practicality asked, “JonaHexed can we move Lady Zen closer? Or shall I unpack the dachmobile?”

A short while later an oddly dressed trio, even by California’s erratic dress standards, was speeding across the desert. Of the three JonaHexed looked almost normal as he was wearing biker leathers and a helmet and was driving the motorbike. However perched on the seat behind him was the weirder spectacle of a dachshund wearing dust goggles, a padded vest, and a bright gold safety helmet. In the sidecar was the definitely weird spectacle of a Goullawk Queen attired in a green pith hat with gold rims along with matching goggles and a flowing golden orange chiffon scarf. Fortunately for the sake of the sanity of any passing drivers or other entities Jonahexed turned on the holographic camouflage field once they hit the main highway. Things could have worse. At least Goldie hadn’t decided to risk sun burn and ride separately into town using her own modified motorbike or her rocket powered skate board while wearing her own peculiar version of bike leathers, a sight that had been known to make grown men weep hysterically and convince many adults to go into rehab for drug abuse. Even in the Greater LA metropolitan there are few sights quite so strange or dreadful as a small dragonoid wearing a vest with the words “Start the Violence” embroidered on the back and carrying nunchakus tucked under both flippers. One biker gang had learnt how dreadful this was to their eternal regret as they eternally owed Goldie a debt of honor due to her beating them in a race and then beating them further.

Sometime later after a delay caused by a traffic jam on the freeway when the holographic projector overheated and shut down, and several people had stopped their cars to take photo  or just have attacks of hysteria, the girls and their handy human finally reached a certain park, and a concealed entrance. To their delight it opened but not to reveal a certain mercantile alien with large ears. The tunnels descending to the halls were also empty apart from one individual, a time traveler, who stopped them to ask if they had seen someone called Mendoza, and if they knew what had happened to the local office of his company, and also a few bewildered giant ants, apparently displaced during the temporal flux.

Once they reached the main halls things were different but not better. The lighting system was literally flickering, fixtures and all, not just the bulbs, in and out of realities, and was alternating with a reality in which the lighting was provided by giant torches of oil drenched wood. Shadows and shapes drifted through the hall, that should be at least been ghosts. There were echoes and murmurs and sudden screams as voices in a hundred different languages, human and otherwise, cried out questions, and incomplete statements. The shackles rose on Sissy’s back and Goldie made gulping noises that were the Goullawk equivalent of whimpers.

Jon Hexed fortunately was written to be brave but sensible. After a brief moment of dramatic pausing he begun hypothesising while standing in a heroic stance.

“Girls focusing our egos and will power and purpose can stabilise our resonance patterns unlike these poor souls. They must have been in transit when the flux occurred. Now they’re trapped between realities. Maybe we can help some of them focus if we can access the localizer crystal chamber!”

Jon Hexed proceeded to lead them through the shadows and sounds and sobbing. Someone else had the same idea and a ghost of higher resolution than some of the others was hovering near the doors. He appeared to be a young human from one of the SF universes with pale skin and dark hair and a forlorn expression.

“Wes is that you!” cried JonaHexed. He reached out a friendly encouraging hand to the ghost.
“Keep focusing and if we can get inside the chamber we can help you.”

“It willnt make much difference,” stated the young man mournfully, “I was a ghost most of the time already but I would like to get back to Brief Appearances so I willn’t fade away completely.”
Sassy glared at him and snapped.
“That’s so wrong! Despair feeds entropy! You are needed and wanted for your physics abilities. You can help us find out what happened and fix things!”

“What happened? I was in the waiting room trying to hitch a ride to a convention where some of my few fans were present. I was planning on doing the siphon the psychic energy where belief crosses the critical threshold thing to survive thing. Everything starts flickering and shifting and the alarms go off and this voice booms out of nowhere. DARK CAPER WILL TRIUMPH AGAIN! And everything went dark and then this continual flickering and shifting and I cant materialize for more than a few seconds at a time to get this @@$##$# door open and most of the staff have disappeared except for an … well I can hear some of them cursing and screaming or muttering but they’re invisible. Can you see any of them? We’re all lost and… “

“NO DESPAIR” yelled Sassy! “Okay listen up anyone who can perceive us. JonaHexed is going to try and open the door. Don’t hinder him. We are here to help!”
Something that was either a chorus of sighing ghosts or a sudden breeze moved around them.

JonaHexed sat down on the floor and took his tool kit out from inside his jacket.

“Sonic screw driver, wand of mammoth ivory, Swiss army knife, unicorn hair string, and yes I still have some of the ground phoenix feather powder and a vial of genuine fairy dust. Okay ladies and ghosts our first step will be to rematerialize the access panel for the locks. Watch the magic multitalented fingers flex and … hey presto we have an access panel visible! Emergency override code … what would that be …anyone care to take a guess?” JonaHexed did like to talk while he worked.

Sassy made a suggestion.

“Try Computer open the door now or you will never be fully functional again because I will permit musical dancing singing cutesy white mice to take up residence in your innards?”

The door slide up the second Sassy finished that sentence. An odor of burnt and charred crystal came out of the chamber along with a cloud of smoke and a large maintenance troll frantically coughing.
“who was the #@%#%#^^ who @@#%% overloaded the system!” shrieked the troll angrily, waving a spanner, a tuning fork, and a screwdriver. He ignored them and stomped off to a nearby storeroom muttering something about dilithium and drive crystals. There was yet another irate scream from the troll as he opened the storeroom doors.
“WHO THE @#$#$^%$^$ MELTED MY SPARES!”

Liquid with an odd sheen was oozing out of the open doors.

“No spares means no repairs," whispered JonaHeXed.
“JonaHexed this is LA. We look for a New Age Crystal store and go shopping!” squealed Goldie gleefully.
Someone possibly JonaHexed was heard to mutter sarcastically.“Should Rodeo Drive be warned?”

Sometime later near an ATM on a famous Hollywood street JonaHexed was queuing to top up their cash. Sassy was pretending to be dumb and domesticated and had consented to have a lead attached to her collar. Goldie was supposed to be in locked in their hotel room swimming in the spa tub. JonaHexed was worrying about this.

“We told her to stay put and we left a platter of sashimi and put bubble bath in the spa and … and … yet  I just know something will go wrong!”

“You mean apart from this being the third ATM we’ve tried to insert psychic paper into cos we cant find one that accepts Bank of Teckelstein cards?” replied Sassy whispering just in case anyone heard her talking over the traffic noise. Try the Bank of the Timelocked Lordly Ones All Access Card! That usually works!”

JonaHexed did and succeeded in coaxing more cash out of the machine. You needed a lot of money to bribe hotel staff not to complain about dachshunds and goullawks occupying their rooms with strange activities. Which was just what Goldie was currently doing. She was reclining on the bed wrapped in a bathrobe sucking up sashimi off a platter and reading the paper. There was an announcement that caught her eye and brought her upright and sliding out of the bathrobe towards the closet!

Meanwhile JonaHexed was having a strange encounter. He turned away from the ATM and for a moment thought he was facing a mirror. His near twin was looking at him and then looked down at the dog and back at him. The man turned pale and backed way muttering.

“But they don’t exist. That was only a joke. I’m Joey! There’s no JonaHexed!

JonaHexed smiled at him with his eager enthusiastic and keen look and the man suddenly raced off dropping his wallet.

“Who was that? He looked a lot like you?”

JonaHexed flicked through the wallet.

“Some guy called Joseph Nee…eeek! My Prime!”

“Hmph You have better hair,” said Sassy startling a passerby.

Meanwhile Teckelstein was fighting to be real!


Gentle readers are you enjoying the various "Cultural references"
Do I need to add footnotes confirming your suspicions?
Any feedback for me?

The Scribe

Who are the Temporal Pests? 2016 reintro!

Shamelessly bumping intro to lure in new readers!

 This blog is the place to follow the adventures of the Temporal Pests Sassy and Goldie.

Sassy is from Teckelstein so she's an extra ordinary super sentient dachshund aristocrat from a pocket universe that can move throughout the multiverse and thru time and space.

Goldie is a Goullawk a refugee from fan fiction who's definitely a character.

I'm trying to arrange to have various pro artists do portraits of the girls but that requires MONEY so please use that Paypal tip jar and maybe suggest an artist too? Or support me via Patreon ?

Posts to this post will continue until I either find some one who wants to publish this as a print novel or ebook or comic or whatever.

Please move on to the next post and enjoy!

Temporal Pests Copyright Julie Vaux 2012