My characters are missing!

My characters a sentient dachshund and a Goullawk are STILL Missing!

I have been informed they may be hiding  at SDCC?

You have been warned.

If you are attending San diego Comic convention and  have had  sashimi sushi or hot dogs or any kind of sausage on a roll or other items disappear I will not be held responsible!

They may be disguised using holographic imagers as balloon animals or stuffed toys or ...

I also disclaim any responsibility for the incident with the cosplaying midgets or children dressed as a small dragonoid and a raccoon launching  "fireworks" from "rayguns" while shrieking

" MY TAIL IS SEXY THAN YOURS!"

Some where in the multiverse

Somewhere in the multiverse ... two  lazy characters have forgotten to update their author! Their poor author with a severe case of the winter blues ...

"Did you hear distant screaming?'

"We frequently hear distant screaming?"

"It sounded like our author. I better check our diary."

Shrieking more shrieking

"we're THAT OVERDUE ..."

Some people are having their sashimi rations cut. Not me.

DODO SUPER FLYING ULTRA POSTAL SERVICE

Sassy's trip through the vortex had brought her to the Door that goes almost Everywhere and When.

"DODO's Super Flying Ultra Postal Service Head Office Please!"

In an neglected corner of fan fiction was Generic City
(see Just a Lotta animals if you can find it)
and in Generic City was a service run about some very special pigeons and parrots and other Avians. someone had genespliced a pigeon a dodo and possibly a bit of African Grey parrot. The result had a perch behind a counter and was wearing a ww2 fighter pilot cap.

"Oh hello Sassy havnt seen any of your folk for a while."

"Dodo dear do you have an active link to Teckelstein?" asked Sassy as she trotted behind the counter into the staff area.

"I've got a tech team looking at that now. The light keeps blinking on and off!"

The pigeon flapped down a corridor and Sassy trotted swiftly below and just a little behind him.

They entered a room full of blinking lights with names like Westeros, Honorverse, Disney Anime, Urban Noir, Uber Chicago and of course Discworld. Each of these lights had a pigeon size door below it and various notes, like beware the gargoyles, avoid the dragons, or force shield necessary.

On the floor below some very large rats wearing tool belts were swarming in and out of a mechanism that seemed to be connecting various cables to the lights and doors and a large monitor. There was a shriek from inside that mechanism and a ratty scream of

"See I told you it was live. Use the meter!"

A slightly scorched rodent wombled out towards them spun around and collapsed.

"Will he be alright?' asked Sassy smelling burnt fur.

"Ello ello ello wot can ay do for youse?" asked another rodent wearing a white cap and glasses.

"Teckelstein! Has the link stabilised!"

Well we're getting a lot of quantum fluctation today but yes while I don't think a medium to large humanoid  could travel through quantum we can generate a quantum level tunneling for a smaller being like your ladyship or our couriers!

Dodo puffed out his chest.

"What message do you want me to deliver Sassy?"

"Several actually! I have a list!" stated the dachshund.

To be continued when my informants don't get distracted and forget to discover notes to me!

Spoiler alert I swear by the nine muses certain events in upcoming episodes occurred BEFORE Forever Evil and of course this is fiction but why do the girls keep "guessing" about certain events? worrisome? Mr L is trying along with Young L#$% to break the mythic cycle and the girls have been insisting for years that ... what next a certain Lannister finally gets his hands on gunpowder and cannonry?

Final note to readers I am actually writing a serious SF novel.
This series ... isn't ...any definable genre?

Falling Hounds, Chainsaws and More Mayhem.

Previously in Temporal Pests, our  trepid canine heroine was about to enter the Time Vortex, our other heroine got squashed by a giant robot, and a large section of our supporting cast is trapped in a control room ...

BOOM bang thump BOOM

the door was vibrating and starting to crack and that was the last thing Sassy saw before she was swept into the Vortex between worlds and realms, swirling away on the winds that are time, caught in temporal currents, and hopefully being swept along to the exit point for her destination.

While many of our supporting cast were were getting ready to fight when the door collapsed or dissolved one of them was franticly typing commands at a terminal and another was outside and hadn't entered at  all.

The Clown Prince of Crime had never entered the control room at all but had discovered a gardener's shed and a chainsaw.

He sauntered and strutted back towards the assembled villanry and then checked stopped, posed inspiringly for artists, fired up the chainsaw and shrieked,

"OKAY WHO STARTED THE PARTY WITHOUT ME!"

and then quietly added , " ... and without inviting moi?"

A lot of people started running. More importantly most of them stopped attacking the door and  turned their weapons towards him.

Somewhere beyond time and space as we know it a rock floats and on it is nothing about a door. All you have to do to open that door is to knock on it and think or say where you want to go.

Sassy landed on that rock.

To be continued!

and more than Time is broken ...

I'm not sure if my phone app uploaded the update about my broken arm.

People due to a fracture of the right radius bone near my elbow and conseuqnet muscle stiffness spasms aches pains and twinges etc I've only been able to resume typing with more than one finger this week!

Clearly a plot by the forces of evil to hinder Sassy and Goldie!?

A Memo from a Certain Director

As regular readers ( do we have any?) have noticed my co-writers Sassy and Goldie distract easily and instead of informing me what happened next in strict and correct linear temporal sequence go off in tangents or bring me memos like this which appears to have come from the office of someone just promoted to Director of a certain organisation this week

Director C&*$&n to All STAFF and OFFICES)
To be distributed by email and print

RE: Salvage ops

It has come to my attention that certain individuals are selling fragments of various facilities and equipment on ebay. This will cease immediately!

Someone tried to sell LOLA! I know she needs repairs but we are not selling LOLA to raise funds for rebuilding.

I know it seemed like a good idea but someone using the ebay ID of HULKBUSTER showed up with several trucks and tried to enter restricted areas claiming they had bid successfully for salvage rights!

No more ebay auctions!

Graffiti.

NO further action will be taken if the person who sprayed Buddy Lives and Phil's Family Fun Therapy UNIT on the outside of my AIRBUS removes it. Promptly. You have 24 hours. The same applies to the person or people  who thought it was funny to spray WHY HULK SEE RED YET TURN GREEN? in the corridor outside Dr Banner's lab.  Likewise the individual who sprayed VOTE ONE STARK for BIGGER BETTER SHINY TOYS!

This is not a democracy or dictatorship.

Staff performance reviews.

A lot of you need to come up with something better than
"Hey I just yelled Hail Hydra because everyone else was doing it!"

Who put a chocolate labrador retriever inside Agent Ward's debriefing room?

He is now sobbing hysterically and babbling intel about Hydra between bouts of gambolling around the room playing with the dog. If anyone thinks they're helping him do an insanity plea ... this will not work!

I have no record of any agents using the IDs Sassy or Goldie!

Sincerely Intent on rebuilding our organisation

P.S. The next person who claims they saw a purple dragonoid on a skateboard and a talking dachshund will report for immediate psych evaluation!

Consequences and Convergences or Return of the Queen and other stuff

Meanwhile back in the "real" world events were almost as odd as those occurring at the Node.

Wakandan State Media was announcing an takeover bid for Fox News to the glee of a certain President.

In Tokyo a Shinto shrine was being raised to Godzilla who had just saved Tokyo AGAIN and was being offered the entire days contents of Tsukuji fish market as the first offering.

Ron and Jack were leading a convoy of British heroes to Stonehenge to help at the Node battle.

In Canberra Australia a talking Koala in clothes and a creature that looked at a pudding with legs wearing an old style ceramic kitchen bowl  were trying to explain to a Prime Minister and his Treasurer the economy was not a Magic Pudding.

Elsewhere a small hound was being whirled through time and space in search on herself !

And that ominously bubbling pit where we left Goldie?

Someone has just crawled out of it and she's in a really BAD mood!

You thought Godzilla's roar in the latest movie version was impressive.

This isn't a podcast! You'll just have to imagine how it sounds!

NYARGAHARGLRAHAHAHAAAARKARGH!

Yipe definitely a bad mood!