Temporal Pe(s)ts are ...

Temporal Pests is a shamelessly self indulgent piece of fan fic ... well we better hope its fan fic. Fictional characters don't really have adventures between the frames and pages ... do they ... reality doesn't really edit alter and reset ... there is no such thing as sentient dachshunds or dragonoids ... really?

Locks and Loops

A small red being was plummeting through the time vortex or the multiverse or the source wall or the borders of time and space. Whatever. It hurt. Her fur was starting smoulder. She was starting to forget where or when she was going.

That was when she landed.

A corridor. She was in a corridor leading to ... herself.

She could see herself and Goldie in a holding cell.

Aaaargh was this a temporal loop or lock.

What if she's done this before?  Several times before?

That note with the list  had changed a couple of times!

Would it alter again?

To be continued until Sassy and Goldilock break the temporal loop or paypal donations arrive. Yes that means next week back to chapter one again!

Bwabahahah evil laughter etc ......

Small Monsters

The girls have been busy.

SMALL MONSTERS

Somewhere in the Middle East a small sonic screwdriver held by some one using a muzzle or snout as much a mouth as a “hand” with four digits was loosing parts of a missile launching device while another small being was quietly using a pencil held in an fanged opening that was more definitely a mouth to use a keyboard and erase or reset targetting software and programs. Two small monsters were doing their part for peace in a region beset by larger monsters.

A commanding voice interrupted their activities.

“DROP THAT!

Two pairs of eyes turned towards the voice. One pair was onyx gold brown surrounded by golden red fur and the other opalescent purple surrounded by delicate barely visible small scales.

“I don't know what kind of ifrit or djin either of you are but I can see you!”

“Oh a human who can see us!” remarked the purple eyed dragonoid.

The young man held out an amulet with symbols inscribed on it that predated the Sumerians.

“Sorry sweetie that doesn't work on us!” remarked the onyx eyed one.

“B u u u t...”

“Cos we're not ifrits or djinni” chimed the other.

The young human uttered words he'd been taught in a language that was younger than the symbols on the amulet and sounded like some kind of Arabic but was older than even Quranic Arabic.

Some one else appeared.

"You called me to protect me oh young and most fortunate of … urk eek argh NOT them!” spluttered a being wearing an outfit that belonged on a Bedu shepherd wearing his best festival outfit.

The young man looked at the two small monsters or whatever they were and at his family's djinn.

“Obey! Protect this infidel kaffir smiting weapon!” he snarled.

The djinn hestitated and asked …

“Must I?”

“Yes must he?” asked the furry one,” cos I thought the problem you had around here was a bit too much faith not a lack?”

“What she said!” stated the djinn who'd been peacefully resting in a cave near Petra reading through a basket of books and scrolls that contained the secret diaries of a Idumean Princess, her copy of Sappho's poetry, the real Gospel of Barnabas, and a copy of Queen Cleopatra's recipe book for perfumes, poisons, and potions for treating childhood diseases.

The djinn had been half away through a juicy passage of gossip about a certain emperor and was eager to get back to it.

“Oh this is the be careful how I say my commands thing isn't it? Oh mighty spirit bound to serve my family for a thousand years and ten thousand wishes which ever comes first remove these two beings to some place faraway where they may smite enemies of my people!”

The two small monsters and the djinn disappeared.

A short while later faraway at a tank depot the girls resumed their creative alterations.

“All those bound djinn being invoked when people see us makes getting into military bases and past security systems so much easier! So do you want to jam the tank treads or do we cut the fuel lines this time? Or how about we snafu the computer inside this tank first so we're working inside unseen in case they have any Golem?”

Far above the shadows of dark wings and worse things greater monsters watched their work of chaos unfold across the region as two small monsters did their best to reduce some of the violence.

Okay  this probably didn't happen in our universe ... probably ... but ...

Next stop a pit stop

We last saw one of our heroines arranging for messages to be delivered.

The other?

Out from a steaming pit flumped an infuriated Goullawk who was also steaming.

Literally with purple fumes coming out of her nostrils.

She inhaled and shrieked.

"NYARGLE NYARGH ARGH"

Unfortunately for our villians no one saw her rise from the pit.

Otherwise Stratagem 36 would have been operative.

The Goullawk is in a dangerous to others VERY MAD BAD mood.

Multiverse Beware!

To be continued at the usual erratic rate. Sooner or later.

My characters are missing!

My characters a sentient dachshund and a Goullawk are STILL Missing!

I have been informed they may be hiding  at SDCC?

You have been warned.

If you are attending San diego Comic convention and  have had  sashimi sushi or hot dogs or any kind of sausage on a roll or other items disappear I will not be held responsible!

They may be disguised using holographic imagers as balloon animals or stuffed toys or ...

I also disclaim any responsibility for the incident with the cosplaying midgets or children dressed as a small dragonoid and a raccoon launching  "fireworks" from "rayguns" while shrieking

" MY TAIL IS SEXY THAN YOURS!"

Some where in the multiverse

Somewhere in the multiverse ... two  lazy characters have forgotten to update their author! Their poor author with a severe case of the winter blues ...

"Did you hear distant screaming?'

"We frequently hear distant screaming?"

"It sounded like our author. I better check our diary."

Shrieking more shrieking

"we're THAT OVERDUE ..."

Some people are having their sashimi rations cut. Not me.

DODO SUPER FLYING ULTRA POSTAL SERVICE

Sassy's trip through the vortex had brought her to the Door that goes almost Everywhere and When.

"DODO's Super Flying Ultra Postal Service Head Office Please!"

In an neglected corner of fan fiction was Generic City
(see Just a Lotta animals if you can find it)
and in Generic City was a service run about some very special pigeons and parrots and other Avians. someone had genespliced a pigeon a dodo and possibly a bit of African Grey parrot. The result had a perch behind a counter and was wearing a ww2 fighter pilot cap.

"Oh hello Sassy havnt seen any of your folk for a while."

"Dodo dear do you have an active link to Teckelstein?" asked Sassy as she trotted behind the counter into the staff area.

"I've got a tech team looking at that now. The light keeps blinking on and off!"

The pigeon flapped down a corridor and Sassy trotted swiftly below and just a little behind him.

They entered a room full of blinking lights with names like Westeros, Honorverse, Disney Anime, Urban Noir, Uber Chicago and of course Discworld. Each of these lights had a pigeon size door below it and various notes, like beware the gargoyles, avoid the dragons, or force shield necessary.

On the floor below some very large rats wearing tool belts were swarming in and out of a mechanism that seemed to be connecting various cables to the lights and doors and a large monitor. There was a shriek from inside that mechanism and a ratty scream of

"See I told you it was live. Use the meter!"

A slightly scorched rodent wombled out towards them spun around and collapsed.

"Will he be alright?' asked Sassy smelling burnt fur.

"Ello ello ello wot can ay do for youse?" asked another rodent wearing a white cap and glasses.

"Teckelstein! Has the link stabilised!"

Well we're getting a lot of quantum fluctation today but yes while I don't think a medium to large humanoid  could travel through quantum we can generate a quantum level tunneling for a smaller being like your ladyship or our couriers!

Dodo puffed out his chest.

"What message do you want me to deliver Sassy?"

"Several actually! I have a list!" stated the dachshund.

To be continued when my informants don't get distracted and forget to discover notes to me!

Spoiler alert I swear by the nine muses certain events in upcoming episodes occurred BEFORE Forever Evil and of course this is fiction but why do the girls keep "guessing" about certain events? worrisome? Mr L is trying along with Young L#$% to break the mythic cycle and the girls have been insisting for years that ... what next a certain Lannister finally gets his hands on gunpowder and cannonry?

Final note to readers I am actually writing a serious SF novel.
This series ... isn't ...any definable genre?